windandwater | Goodbye LJ...

This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;

Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!

♥

Current Mood: indescribable

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

There was a strange little smile on Duo’s face, as he ran his hand through Heero’s hair. “Tomorrow you will have things to do,” he murmured in return. “But we have a little time, tonight.” The little space between them was too far, and too cold; he pressed forward again, burying his face in Heero’s neck. His hand stroked down Heero’s back and side, and everywhere he touched, he trailed fire in his wake.

Awkwardly, unsure, Heero tried to copy Duo’s actions. Shifting position on the bed, he leaned back just far enough to pull Duo completely onto his lap. There was a heat he’d never known forming in the pit of his stomach, a tightness in his groin where it pressed against Duo’s thigh. One hand buried itself in the silky fall of Duo’s hair, while the other fumbled along the sharp line of Duo’s spine; down his lower back, and around the graceful curve of his hip.

Duo made a small sound, then, or else Heero might never have known -- but he was so attuned to his love’s body that he felt as much as heard the muffled choking noise against his shoulder. It was enough to distract him from the strange, heated thoughts, and he felt the tension build along Duo’s shoulders and down his back, drawing him tight. “Duo?” he muttered softly, but there was no response.

Alarm seeped into his mind, dashing away the building excitement under a flood of dread. He pulled away, grasping Duo by the shoulders and pushing him back, off his legs and onto the folds of the blanket. “Duo? What’s wrong?” Duo’s body was too limp under his hands, his motions too feeble. Heero took Duo’s chin in his hand, turning the face up to where he could see.

His worst fears were confirmed -- Duo’s eyes were flooded with silent tears, overflowing and tracking down over his cheeks. The shaking in his body was almost violent now, spreading from his chest out to his limbs. Duo’s expression was such a mixture of terror and absolute despair as Heero had never wanted to see on his face again. “Duo! Please, love, talk to me!”

Duo just shook his head, weakly, and curled in on himself as another choked sob escaped his control, and another. Heero reached out to caress his face comfortingly -- but Duo shuddered, and flinched away from his touch. Panicked, Heero detangled his body from Duo’s as best he could -- he wanted nothing more than to gather Duo into his arms, and soothe him, but he knew that would only make this worse. Instead, he pulled Duo back upright, steadying him on the blankets, and then moved away. “Oh, Duo... Gods, Duo, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking...”

“It wasn’t,” Duo gasped, and swallowed hard before he could speak. “It wasn’t you, Heero, it wasn’t you at all... it’s m-me... I’m sorry...”

“No!” Heero’s hands hovered in the air above Duo’s shoulders; what touch would be safe? Could he even take Duo’s hands without causing more suffering? “Don’t be sorry, love, just tell me what happened... tell me what’s wrong...”

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

“I can’t!” Duo shuddered, and covered his face in his hands. “I only w-wanted to touch you... to feel you... but I c-can’t! Every time I feel like I... like I want something, then I’m just so afraid -- I can’t stop it! I’m sorry, Heero! It isn’t you, it’s not you at all, I swear... but I can feel them, still t-touching me, and I can’t stop them... I can’t control it, I’m sorry...”

“Just...” Heero took a breath; he could feel the edge of pleading creep into his voice. “Just tell me what to do, Duo. I don’t want to hurt you any more. What should I do?”

There was silence for a long moment, broken only by the gulping breaths as Duo fought to regain his composure. At last, he stirred and looked up at Heero, eyes wide and imploring and cheeks streaked with tears. “Just hold me?” he asked in a small voice.

“You’re sure?” Heero hesitated, though his arms yearned for Duo. The other boy swallowed once and nodded.

“I’m okay now. I just want you to hold me. That’s all,” he whispered, and Heero needed no further urging, sliding down the bedding to take Duo in his arms. Duo sighed and relaxed against him, and didn’t resist at all when Heero pulled them both backwards to lay down on the bed, Duo nestled securely in his arms.

He dared to reach up and stroke Duo’s hair, keeping his touch as non-threatening as he possibly could. His mind whirled with dark thoughts, longing for revenge that was far out of his grasp.

After a time, Duo stirred and whispered, “Are you angry?”

Heero blinked in the dimness, and his hand stilled. “Yes.” He felt Duo tensing, preparing to draw away, and hastened to clarify. “Not at you. At the bastards who hurt you. But never at you.”

A soft sigh was his only answer, and stillness the only action for a long time. Maybe he slept, or maybe he lay wide awake and watched the shadows chase each other across the dull canvas walls.

By morning he was again in charge and Duo was back to his old self. It worried Heero just a little that this was so; last night he had been upset, and so very frightened, that to see his normal cheerful manner was a bit unnerving. Could Duo really recover that quickly, or was he hiding? Why from Heero?

It was but one among many questions that Heero had no answers for -- questions that he was determined to resolve, before it was time for him to go. And if Duo could not give him his answers, Duo who was his key to human feelings, then he would find someone else who could.

He let his hand brush off of Duo’s shoulder as he settled him onto Quatre’s couch; Duo smiled up at him. Although the tent was smaller than Heero’s, it was filled with all the worldly possessions of two people in love and somehow seemed to burst with human feeling. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Heero rather liked it -- the slightly exotic touches of Quatre’s things only served more to fascinate him.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

“It’s going to be pure chaos from now until the time we leave,” he told Duo regretfully. “If I won’t be with Wufei, I’ll be with the troops. Even if I’d rather be with you. Don’t expect me back until late.”

“I hadn’t planned to,” Duo flashed him a grin, and glanced sideways at where Quatre and Trowa stood unabashedly observing them. “Quatre still owes me from the last game; I’ve gotta give him plenty of time to catch up.”

Heero quirked a slight smile in return, and leaned down to lay a chaste kiss on Duo’s forehead. From the other side of the room, he heard Quatre’s exaggerated sigh and saw his swooning motion, but chose to stoically ignore them.

“Not nice to tease, Little One,” Trowa rebuked his lover quietly. “Heero’s confused enough without having you make fun of him.”

Quatre grinned back at the taller man. “I’m not completely making fun,” he reproached, a gleeful tone underlying his words. “I’m just so happy they’ve finally gotten their heads on straight... and aren’t they beautiful?” he added, making starry eyes towards Duo and Heero.

“Quatre,” Duo called across the room, “come over here so I can hit you.”

Sulking, Quatre dragged himself across the room and dutifully allowed Duo to smack him. “You are so mean,” he grumbled, rubbing the offended arm and glaring at the room indiscriminately.

Brushing Duo’s cheek one last time, Heero left him with a tender look as he paced quickly across the room. He paused on the way out, though, veering off his course to take hold of Trowa’s arm, and pull him to the back of the tent.

Trowa let himself be pulled along, although he raised the one visible eyebrow sarcastically. “Weren’t you in a hurry?” he inquired politely. “I thought you had a lot of things to do.”

“I do,” Heero replied, “and talking to you -- alone -- is first on the list.” There was enough background noise in the encampment today that even this far across the room was out of earshot.

He stopped in front of a table and pulled out the chair; Trowa took the unspoken invitation and sat, folding his hands easily on the tabletop in front of him. “What’s on your mind, Heero?” he said curiously.

Heero planted his hands on the table and leaned forward, eyes burning. “Explain sex.”

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

Trowa, even Trowa, stumbled over that one. For a long moment he just sat there, completely floored, before he managed a stunned “What... what exactly do you mean?” he choked out. “Ah... you mean sex between men?”

“No. I mean sex between armadillos,” Heero snapped out. “What in the hells do you think I’m talking about, Trowa? Something’s going on with Duo that’s so far outside my experience that I don’t even have the basic understanding of what’s happening!”

“Heero.” Trowa didn’t look up at him, leaving his eyes focused on his clasped hands. “This is not something to be approached lightly, don’t you see? I can’t tell you what to do...”

“Trowa, something’s hurting him,” Heero interrupted, deadly serious. “Something big. Something that still gives him nightmares and I don’t even know what not to do -- I don’t know when a touch or a word will soothe him, or send him into a panic. Before I can even think about making it better, I have to know what to do so as not to make it worse. Who would you rather I ask? Wufei? Quatre? Duo himself?” He snorted at the thought, but quickly sobered.

Trowa stared at him for a long moment and then sighed. “How much do you already know?” he said wearily. “And how much do you want to know?”

“Nothing,” Heero replied promptly. “And everything.”

Trowa blew out his breath, and leaned back in his chair. “This could take a while,” he warned.

“Then you’d better get started,” Heero replied firmly.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

“What on Earth are they talking about?” Duo craned his neck towards the back of the tent, and the two dark heads bent across the table.

“Gods only know,” Quatre said, also looking. He could only see the back of Heero’s head, nodding intently at whatever Trowa was telling him; Trowa was occasionally gesturing to punctuate his statements

Duo looked back at his friend. “You know, there’s something weird if the two stone statues can carry on a more lively conversation than we can.”

Quatre shrugged, still staring at the two of them as though he could somehow read their lips. “What’s that old saying, that like minds run in the same vein. I think...” Quatre abruptly cut himself off, his eyes widening. I recognize THAT gesture! Please tell me they aren’t discussing what I think they’re discussing...

“Quatre?” Duo was looking at him, now, puzzled. Hastily, Quatre shifted around so that Duo, facing him, sat with his back to the other two boys.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he assured his patient, smiling brightly. “I’m sure they’re conferring on important army business. Nothing interesting at all. So tell me, Duo...”

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

Part of him, though he hated it, couldn’t wait for the army to leave. He could always hear, even when his mind was somewhere else, the constant unrelenting mutter in the background -- louder, now, with so much tension and anticipation in the air. Hearing them, always hearing them, he couldn’t fool himself with the illusion of solitude. He could not stand to have anyone’s eyes on him, not even for an instant, and the endless hum of voices was a ceaseless reminder of their pitiless gazes. It didn’t bother him when Heero was around -- Heero made him safe -- and Quatre or even Trowa’s presence could block it out. But he spent all too much time alone now, and sometimes the voices just got louder and louder until his mind whited out from their presence, and he would shake helplessly in the grip of a terror he couldn’t even put words to.

So part of him felt a vast relief that today was the last afternoon of the last day, and the troops would be moving out tomorrow. But the easing of the wordless panic only cleared the way for other fears, a little more abstract, but no less crushing for all that. Because Heero left tomorrow. He was going to meet them. And... and he had been very careful, to keep his words encouraging and his tone hopeful, but Duo was not stupid.

He might not come back.

Gods... Gods, what will I do if he doesn’t come back?

He hadn’t gone to Quatre’s today. There was at least a little of Heero’s presence that still hung about his tent, and Duo needed that right now. Besides which, walking through the camp, feeling all the eyes on him, was a torture he couldn’t endure right now. Not with the fear, the very real fear of losing Heero looming over his head.

Most of all, he hated feeling helpless. It was a sensation to which he was well accustomed, but it didn’t make this waiting any easier. If only there was something I could do... something I could do to help! But he was in no condition to fight; still on the crutches, he wasn’t even any use in the building and constructing and the preparations that included almost every other body in the encampment.

He blew out a breath in frustration, and then his eye fell on Heero’s desk. He smiled in spite of himself; Heero spent so much time in that chair, poring over the charts and maps and making the plans that would direct the fate of the thousands of soldiers under his care.

Sunlight filtered through the cracks and openings in the canvas roof, lighting the desktop -- the chair was positioned to take the best advantage of that light. It illuminated the parchment sheaf lying on the tabletop, loosely tied together with a piece of twine. The final draft, Duo knew. The plans that Heero had drawn up for the confrontation at Kinekell. His life would rest on how well formed they were.

Something I can do...

Duo pushed up from the bed, and carefully limped over to the desk, hesitating a moment before seating himself in the chair. Adjusting his seat minutely to take better advantage of the light, Duo pulled off the twine and shook the papers out over the flat surface. He bent his head over them intently, the low murmur of voices from beyond the walls momentarily forgotten.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

When everything at last was done that had to be done, the last rays of the sun still filtered through the dust, bathing the buildings in gold and the ground in red. Torches were being lit, for those whose work would go on long into the night, but they would not need Heero to direct them. So, for the first time, he chose to return to his tent rather than go on working through the night as was his usual habit.

He walked in with a greeting on his lips, but it froze as the unexpected scene jolted his eyes. His papers were not on the desktop. Across the room, Duo stood in the last patch of sunlight, his hands carefully angled to catch the light, head bent over the sheets. He looked up as Heero walked in, eyes wide and startled.

Heero couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “What are you doing?”

Duo smiled at him, lowering his arms. “Come and look at this,” he invited instead, the hitch still in his walk as he returned to the desk and spread the paper over the desktop. His spread hand covered over a webwork of lines, some in ink, and some -- still fresh and new -- in charcoal.

Biting back further demands for answers, Heero followed Duo’s invitation to sit. Duo moved his hand away, and Heero dropped his eyes to the paper. It took a minute for the markings to make sense to his mind.

When they did, he glanced back up and met Duo’s gaze, his first question replaced by new ones. He didn’t need to ask if this was Duo’s work -- it could hardly have been anyone else’s. “Why?” he asked instead, quiet again.

Duo leaned against the back of the chair to take the weight off his feet, leaning on hand on Heero’s shoulder and one hand on the desk. “It’s a good plan,” he answered. “But it could be better. You see? These hills, on the west side -- if you moved up here, and here,” he touched the new marks, “instead of staying in the box. You would be able to see farther, to shoot farther. Then, you could hold back here -- you wouldn’t need to press forward so far. Then you could move to where you need to be, once you’ve seen how things go. You could have more mobility.”

Heero was silent for a moment, digesting this. “But now the left flank is vulnerable,” he said quietly.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

Duo smiled. “Ah, but it’s not. Do you see? They can’t come through the trees there -- not if they want to stay in formation. They’ll have to take the eastern route, instead, if they want to advance at all -- and then you’ll have them outflanked already, and above them.”

After a minute of silence, Heero looked up again -- the clockwork gears already clicking away again. “But why?” he asked, again.

Duo didn’t answer right away, and when he did his voice was clinical, detached. “If you’re not as strong,” he said quietly, “and you know your enemy is stronger, then you don’t try to pit your weakness against their strength. Instead, you find strength in another place, and use it somewhere where your enemy is weak. But the Earth is stronger than an army of ten thousand men. If you can find a way to use that strength, then you can win no matter what the odds.”

Heero knew that Duo had once been a soldier, too -- that he’d once commanded men in a brutal, bloody war with a lot less margin for error than Heero had. He would not insult Duo by disregarding his advice, no matter how it went against the solid tactics grounding that he had been taught. He fell silent, trying to see it in his head, trying to fit his mind around the situation.

Duo didn’t press matters, waiting for Heero to work the matter through. Through Heero’s shirt, he could feel the knotted tension in his back where Duo’s hand rested. Shifting position so that his weight leaned on the back of the chair, Duo put both his hands on Heero’s shoulders and began to knead his sore muscles.

Even if he didn’t react, Heero was acutely aware of Duo’s hands on his back; he could feel the rock-hard tension of a long week of stress melting away under the touch. After a few minutes, when Duo’s hands moved from his shoulders up to his neck, Heero set down the papers and pushed his chair back.

Duo paused, surprised, as Heero stood up and turned to face him; he started to pull his hands back, thinking he’d somehow hurt Heero, but the other boy quickly took hold of his hands. “You shouldn’t be standing on that leg,” he remarked quietly.

Reminded, Duo winced as he shifted position slightly. “Oh... yeah,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “I almost forgot about that.”

“Hn.” Without letting go of Duo’s hands, Heero guided him back over to the bed and pushed him down onto it, turning him so that he sat sideways on top of the blankets. After a moment, Heero sat down behind him.

Puzzled, Duo was about to twist his head around to look at Heero, when he felt strong, warm hands press slightly against his shoulder blades. For a moment they stayed there, and then began to move, as Heero repaid him for the backrub in kind.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

His hands were so terribly strong... but gentle, as they kneaded down along the line of his spine and up again. They had to be; Duo had little of Heero’s thick muscle, and the bones in his back stood out sharply. It would have been easy to mash the flesh to the bone, but Heero was careful, so careful. Duo felt his eyes slip towards shut, lulled by the soothing motions of Heero’s hands.

He came awake instantly, though, when Heero moved -- when he felt Heero’s chest mold along his back. The strong arms went around his waist, and the warm, wonderful hands crept up his chest. He drew in a breath suddenly ragged, and another, and felt his heartbeat stutter and accelerate.

“Heero?” His voice cracked, and he had to swallow. He wrenched his eyes sideways, until he could see out of the corner of his vision Heero’s face as his chin rested on Duo’s shoulder. “What... what are you...”

In response, Heero pulled Duo around in his arms until the other boy faced him -- and kissed him, slowly and sensually, cutting off Duo’s questions. But the question was still there when Heero pulled back, confusion and fear glittering in his eyes.

Heero moved his hands on Duo’s shoulders in gentle, soothing motions. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” he said at last. “And I might not come back.” He saw Duo’s eyes widen, saw his lips part as though about to protest, and dove in to plant another kiss on his lips.

“Please, love,” he whispered, his breath puffing onto Duo’s lips. “I want to do something for you. I want to give you something, in case I never come back.”

Duo’s hands clenched into fists, and he swallowed convulsively. Heero felt the trembling begin, in his shoulders, and plunged ahead. “I promise I won’t hurt you,” he said, emphasizing his words with another kiss. “I promise.” Another kiss, and he slid his hands up to frame Duo’s face. “You know I’d never hurt you.”

“I know,” Duo murmured, but kept his eyes downcast. “I... I’m not afraid that you’d hurt me...”

“Then will you trust me?” Heero stroked Duo’s face gently, struggling to convey all his concern, all his love in that touch.

Duo closed his eyes, and steeled himself up to it. He had only one choice, he knew; he only had to force his stiff lips open and say it.

“All right,” Duo whispered.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

I want to give this to you.

It terrified him.

There was no way he could misinterpret the meaning of Heero’s words; not with the heat of Heero’s hands weighing on his shoulders. Not with the newborn passion on his face, or the glitter of excitement in his eyes. They terrified him and he couldn’t even say why; this was Heero, Heero, and he...

I’d never hurt you.

Besides; Duo was hardly a stranger to sex. He’d spent -- he shuddered from the thought, but could not avoid it -- two years in captivity, and though he’d been a virgin when he began, after the first time he’d not gone two or three days without one of the men forcing him. And there was nothing they would enjoy more than hitting or cutting or choking him while they raped him.

“I... I’m not afraid...”

But this was Heero; Heero wouldn’t do any of those things to him. Heero wouldn’t beat him, wouldn’t make him bleed, wouldn’t laugh with delight while forcing screams out of his battered frame. He knew that Heero would be careful -- and as long as he was gentle, then surely sex wouldn’t be so bad. Couldn’t be so bad.

Will you trust me?

Heero. The man Duo loved more than his own soul; the man who had given him so much that he’d be repaying him far past the end of his life. How could he sit in Heero’s arms on Heero’s bed and tell him no?

So before the dread could close his throat, he forced his lips apart. “All right,” he whispered.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

~"Thank you for coming."~

~"Not at all, not at all, General. So where's the piece you wanted to show me?"~

Heero could feel his heart melt, over the trust unspoken in Duo’s acquiescence. No words would fit his feelings; instead he hooked his fingers under Duo’s chin and drew them together for a deep, heated kiss. “I won’t let you down, Duo,” he whispered fiercely, holding Duo’s face upturned to his. “Believe that I won’t betray your trust in me.”

No sound, but he felt the pressure as Duo’s chin dipped slightly in a nod. One hand slid downwards, caressing Duo’s neck before flowing over his shoulder and down his arm until his fingers twined with Duo’s, spreading his fingers wide and rubbing the pad of his thumb over the sensitive skin below the palm.

~"Here. See... Ah, he's awake. What do you think of him?"~

~"My, my... that's a pretty one. You're right, he's quite fine. I may end up owing you a favor, rather than the other way around."~

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

Duo’s eyes widened, and he drew in his breath as Heero began to kiss and nibble his way down Duo’s neck. In spite of everything, a part of him had still expected that Heero would just push him face down on the bed and take him... gentler than most, maybe, but... what was Heero doing? Electric shivers ran up his arm, starting at his wrist and radiating up through the nerves of his elbow as Heero gently kissed his palm. One by one, he drew Duo’s fingers into his mouth, sucking lightly on the delicate web between them.

A shudder worked its way up Duo’s body, and died; he had to shut his eyes against the rush of feeling. This... this wasn’t what he’d bargained for... it felt too good. That was the one thing he couldn’t stand; that was the thing that stretched thin the barriers in his mind, and let the memory come through too close.

~"Nonsense. You know how I enjoy watching you work."~

~"True, true. Ah well. I'll just have to outdo myself with this one."~

Heero felt Duo wilting in his arms, and pulled Duo’s fingers from his mouth and gathered both of his hands to lower Duo backwards to the blankets. They lay in a messy, unfettered sprawl radiating out from Duo in the center; Heero hovered over him, gauging the reaction. Duo’s eyes had glazed over, and his breathing came much faster now; a hint of blood flushed his cheeks. Satisfied, Heero didn’t try and stop the smile curving his lips; he leaned down and set his hands on the creamy skin showing at the base of Duo’s neck.

~A grip hard and hot as iron seized his arms, and pulled him up from his dazed stupor. Not yet turning him on his back, the unforgiving grip yanked his hands above his back, twisting them painfully upwards between his shoulderblades. ~

~He gasped, and reflexively arched his back to try and relieve the pressure on his shoulders; coarse twine bit into the skin on his arms, binding his forearms together elbow to elbow and wrist to wrist. Only once his arms were bound painfully tight did the hands lift his face from the ground and fling him down on his back.~

He drew his hands slowly apart and down Duo’s chest, pushing the loose robe back over his shoulders. He paused halfway down, to tug loose the simple knots tying the robe closed, and letting the fabric spill off Duo’s sides onto the blanket. At last he sat back on his heels, and regarded Duo, unclothed, with the blankets and the open robe flowing about his body. Duo trembled under his scrutiny, and involuntarily closed his eyes and turned his head to the side.

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

“Don’t look,” he whispered, his voice barely audible and rough with shame. “Please don’t.” He knew what Heero had to see; a rack of bones and scars, a broken and pathetic remnant of a human being. Heero was just so strong, so perfect; what could he possibly see among the weakness and imperfections to desire? He curled in towards himself, gathering his arms and legs towards his center, until Heero’s hands caught his arms and stopped him.

Heero had no intention of looking away. He’d known what Duo looked like naked ever since the first time he had caught sight of the feral creature crouching in the mud; ever since that day, he’d watched Duo slowly recover. Watched as the dirt was stripped away, as the wounds closed and healed, as the bruises faded, as the sharp edges of bone vanished, as the bright spark of intelligence had returned to Duo’s eyes. From the very first, his heart was lost to this beautiful creature; and now, with Duo so amazingly far on the road to recovery, to health, he now asked him to look away?

“But I want to look at you,” Heero said gently, easing Duo’s limbs back out straight. “You’re so... beautiful, Duo.”

~”Yes, a pretty one indeed.”~

~The sudden glare of lights above made him wince, barely able to focus on the man looming over him. Some of the wrinkles were age and some of them were from the lecherous grin twisting the features; thin eyes crowded close about a bulbous nose, narrowed in cold calculation.~

~He cringed away as one knobby-veined hand reached towards him, and caught his face in a bruising grip. That repellent face came too close, until he could smell the reek of its breath. “Well, my pretty little doll,” the man chuckled, a pale and swollen tongue flickering out to moisten flaking lips. “Shall we begin?”~

His hands stayed on Duo’s upper arms, rubbing softly up and down even as his mouth wandered down Duo’s collarbone and his breastbone. He touched everywhere, at first with no purpose, just brushing his lips over Duo’s chest; his tongue flickered out, dancing in the hollow between two ribs, and Duo couldn’t stifle a gasp. He squeezed his eyes shut as Heero came unbearably close to one ultrasensitive nipple, and bit his lip to stifle a cry as Heero’s soft lips brushed lightly over one stiffened nub. The sensation jolted directly to the back of his brain, and when Heero’s soft tongue pressed against the nipple, circling it gently, he felt it straight to his groin. He tried to choke back on the moan that wanted to escape his throat, but a whimper sounded to his ears nonetheless.

Heero pulled away, and Duo nearly gasped in protest. “Duo?” Heero asked softly, huskily; there was passion in his voice, but also concern. “Do you want me to stop, Duo? Is this all right?”

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

Duo shook his head from side to side, not completely able to focus on Heero. “N...no... feels good...” he gasped out, best as he could. It felt too good; it was reawakening sensations and feelings that he had locked away and buried more than a year ago. “Don’t s-stop...” Heero had asked for this. Heero wanted this. Duo could not deny anything.

~With his arms twisted back and his shoulders bent upwards this way, his chest arched painfully out from the floor, strained and vulnerable. When the rough hands descended on his chest, squeezing and scraping along his skin, he tried but couldn’t find the room to cringe away. Panic began to eat at his mind as the hands continued to grasp, to fondle him; what was the man doing? Why was he -- what...~

~A sharp cry forced out of his throat as the fingers seized his nipple and pinched viciously. A bolt of pain shot through his mind, but it was laced with something dark and unpleasant that left a flush of heat in its wake. His heart beat faster, now, thudding hollowly in his throat and ears as he frantically tried to understand. His breaths grew shorter, more ragged, and he had to bite back another cry of pain as the hand inexorably moved to the other nipple and twisted cruelly. Again the frightening mix of agony and... pleasure?~

~He didn’t understand. He didn’t WANT to understand, he only knew that it hurt, that it was new and frightening and he wanted it to stop! A shudder and his voice burst out of his throat in a hoarse shout. “Get your hands off me you BASTARD!”~

Startled, Heero brought his head up from Duo’s chest to stare up at him, frowning in confusion. “Did you just say something, Duo?”

“No...” Duo mumbled, but had to repeat himself, a little louder. He had to stay focused -- had to stay here, with Heero, not to let himself slip away. Gods, he did not want to slip away. He squeezed his eyes shut, and his hands clenched in the blanket, desperately seeking to anchor him firmly in the here-and-now. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel Heero’s gaze searching his face, and basked in the scorching weight of it. This was Heero... Heero... no-one else...

But after a minute Heero looked away, and his hands began to move again. His fingertips brushed only lightly against Duo’s oversensitive nipples, his palms stretched down across Duo’s chest until the heel of his hand nested at the edge of Duo’s ribcage. Thumbs met just where the breastbone ended, and his hands splayed wide easily spanned Duo’s narrow waist and curled around his sides. He held them there, with just enough pressure to preserve the contact as Heero shifted on the bed and pulled himself further down Duo’s body. A warm flush of pleasure suffused Duo’s skin, wherever Heero’s touch passed.

~Only a chuckle answered, a sound full of rust and malice. “Treize was right,” the man mused, dragging nails down Duo’s chest and belly. “You are a fighter, after all. That’s good... very good. Fight all you can, my pretty one, for it only makes it sweeter when you give in.”~

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

From:

mikkeneko.livejournal.com

~His eyes flashed hatred, and he focused on that feeling: hot rage loosened his throat from the grip of cold fear, and the hatred gave him something not so physical to focus on. “You think I’ll submit to you?” he spat his scorn, his defiance. “I’ll die first. I’ll kill you first! You can wait until the end of time but I will NEVER give in to you!”~

~The man didn’t even bother to respond. The hand stopped abusing his chest, and he’d barely taken a breath of relief, before the iron grip clamped down between his legs and squeezed his sex roughly. All the breath he’d had time to gather escaped him in a hoarse scream as he thrashed, frantically trying to escape the grip, to lash out at his tormentor. Every move he made sent shocks traveling up his spine, and the ominous heat that had begun in his chest suddenly flared into a scalding burn. It felt as though a furnace had been lit inside of him, scorching him from the inside out with its corrosive heat.~

~He nearly sobbed with relief when the unendurable pressure eased, but the terrifying heat did not abate.~

His eyes flew open and he made a strangled noise; one of Heero’s arms had brushed against him as Heero moved, and of his own accord his legs clamped together. He took deep, quick breaths, trying to force his muscles to relax. It was a faint hope, though, to think that Heero wouldn’t notice; he did, and right away stopped his actions. Duo swallowed, hard, and wrestled for control of his own body, his own reactions. When at last he thought he could keep from jerking away, he looked up at Heero and gave him a tremulous smile.

Heero caught his eyes, still a little clouded with fear, in his own dark as the sky. His hands rested still on the tender place between Duo’s hips, above his groin; not moving, not pressuring, just the warm touch. “Relax, Duo,” he said soothingly, almost hypnotically. “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, and I won’t. I only want to give this to you. Try to relax, and let me work.”

He wanted to; he wanted to tell Heero that he was trying to relax, trying not to resist, that his hands felt so good and he never wanted Heero to stop. That he was fighting his own reflexes as hard as he could, just to let Heero touch him at all. But his throat would not unlock, so he just nodded faintly and closed his eyes tight.

~He heard the rasp of steel drawn from its cover next, and it was almost a relief. The sound meant pain, yes, but it was an old pain and a familiar one. He’d long since vowed that there was nothing more the soldiers could do to hurt him; that no matter what they did to his body, they could never touch him inside.~

~Still he couldn’t keep from spasming in agony as the cold metal bit into his skin, drawing long slices down his recently abused length; pressing a little deeper as the knife passed over the tip. But it was only pain. Only pain. And sooner or later it had to end.~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28

a.k.a. When Pervy Fanfic Writers Strike Back!

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags