... where did everyone go?

[windandwater]

Went to Circuit City and came back, as my ovaries are saying "RAAAAAAAAAAWR" very loudly and it's rather painful and sitracting. Currently munching on french bread pizza. I passed my parents on JFK, and later called them when I got to Circuit City, since someone called my cell but I didn't recognize the number.

Anyway, Circuit City FINALLY had the ink/paper cartridge thingies we need for the photo printer we have (got it with mom's digital camera), so I called to get the printer model number from her. Luckily, I managed to talk to a sales person since the rack was empty but the price label was still there. There were more of the ink/paper sets in another aisle and I snatched up the next to last one. Whoo! \o/ Also got 300 and the special postcards. Hahaha.

But once I got home, my parents were gone again. >_>;; Hmph.

Now I'm going to eat, digest, hope it doesn't all come back up, and then see if I can get on Trickster, since the wireless is working right now. Wish me luck.

Comments

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*the wiggling is helping somewhat, but it's hard for him to get it working properly when he still feels guilty for what he did to you, even more so because he likes you*

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*still feeling guilty even when he gets his hands under your shirt and starts stroking his fingers across the bare skin of your back?*

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*it's not something that's ever going to fully go away, but your touch is certainly a nice little distraction!*

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*that's okay, he's just gonna wrap his arms around your middle then, as he pulls back from the kiss with a smile, and snuggle against you*

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*focuses on your chin, feeling like he can't meet your eyes*

I know you want... more. I... I don't want to be like I was before. I don't know how to give you what you want.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... it's okay. You don't have to give me more.

*snuggles up some more and rsts his head on your shoulders because he just wants to be held a little bit, and feel small*

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*wraps his arms around you in a warm hug, because it seems like the right thing to do*

You deserve to be happy. I wish I could do that for you.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*oh he likes that very much because you're very warm and this feels rather nice and comfortable*

I don't think I'll ever be happy. I mean, I'm happy. I've never been so happy in my life, now that I'm living here, with my family. But I always fuck things up.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*squeezes you a little*

...everyone makes mistakes. Your family... I'm sure they'd do their best to talk about this with you, to see that you're happy, too. I can't imagine how it must feel... to have someone who wants you.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... no one wants me. I'm just good to have around.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

That can't be true. I've seen how the other boys look at you. Especially the one who looks like you.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

*shakes his head*

... if I wasn't here... if I'd never come back... who would miss me? No one would. I could... disappear and everyone would be happier. No one needs a thing like me around.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

But you did come back... Doesn't that make all the difference? You made a new life with them. I can't believe they wouldn't want you.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... does it?

*buries his face against your chest, hiding away*

It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. They'll wake up and leave me behind. Everyone does.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

I think it does. If you hadn't come back, you wouldn't have had a chance of getting a family that loves you.

*runs his fingers through your hair, trying to keep you calm*

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... at least if I didn't come back, I'd be in Kingdom Hearts. At least I knew I belonged there. It felt warm and safe.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

But you did come back. You made friends, gained a family and people who love you. Don't you love them?

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... I can't lo-- I can't... do that. Feel it. Whatever.

*shakes a little bit*

I'm just a Fake.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

*squeezes you tighter, rubbing your back a little*

But you can feel other emotions, can't you? How do you know one of them isn't love? You feel real enough to me.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

... there's something... in here... *puts one hand on his chest, over his heart* It's hollow and empty. I can't feel it. It's all wrong.

I understood 'love' once, when I had Riku's Memories... but I can't touch that place anymore.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

....If you had Riku's Memories and felt it, that means it was still a part of you. Just because you had his Memories, it doesn't mean you were truly him. The love was yours. You just need to find a way to find it again.

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

I'll find it once I'm Real. Once I'm Real, I'll understand everything.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

I wonder, if you truly need to be more Real than you already are. If you remembered the emotion, knew what it was, what's to say you can't reach it again?

[windup-boytoy.livejournal.com]

I've tried already. *hangs his head* I want to be able to lo-- do that. But I can't even say the word most of the time! Once I'm Real, I'll be able to do it.

[rosa-moschata.livejournal.com]

...what do you need, to become Real?