Goodbye LJ...
Feb. 20th, 2006 06:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwaterThis is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:55 am (UTC)He doesn't take my hand. He just stares at it for a moment like it's a weapon or a dead rat, before shifting his eyes back up to my face. "How did a clown like you get hold of a mobile suit?" he growls.
My grin twists a little, at that. "The Gundam's borrowed," I tell him, withdrawing my hand and sticking it back in my pocket. "So's the name," I add after a moment's thought. He doesn't respond -- big surprise -- but just walks past me as though I weren't there to the crane controls and starts to hoist his Gundam onto the hangar floor. I turn away. Damn. I've barely known him a day and he's getting under my skin.
/sometimes I think you want me to touch you
how can I when you build the great wall around you
in your eyes I saw a future together
you just look away in the distance /
"Hey, Heero!" I have to shout to get his attention; he's perched up on top of his Gundam, half inside one of the open panels. He has to have heard me, but he doesn't stop working, so I wave the package above my head for him to see. "Want some lunch? You've been working on that thing for six hours straight!"
He looks at me, briefly, before turning away and dropping me from his attention with an audible CLANK. Wait, that was his Gundam. "No."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)"I don't want you touching my suit," he snaps, with such force that I back up a step or two.
"Hey, man, I'm just trying to help!" I say in exasperation. He stops what he's doing -- actually stops! -- and turns to glare at me.
"Why?"
"What?" I blink.
"What do you want in return?" he growls. "Are you trying to get some sort of hold over me? There's nothing you could possibly gain from helping me!" He's almost forgotten his Gundam, now, leaning precariously over the edge to fix me with a forceful stare.
This guy is intense. "You're a Gundam pilot, just like me, aren't you?" I try to laugh it off. "Haven't you ever heard of honor among thieves?"
"No."
Okay, no go. I give up the joking attitude. "Because I want to help you," I admit with a sigh. "I mean, it was my fault you got stuck in that hospital... sort of... so now I've gotta make it up to you, right?"
"But why?" He almost snarls, and for the first time since I've met him, I can actually read his face. He's frustrated. He doesn't know what to make of me! It's suddenly funny, and I can feel the grin threatening to cross my face again. "What good will it do you?"
"No good at all!" I tell him, the smile coming back. "I just enjoy helping people."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)"I don't want you touching my suit," he snaps, with such force that I back up a step or two.
"Hey, man, I'm just trying to help!" I say in exasperation. He stops what he's doing -- actually stops! -- and turns to glare at me.
"Why?"
"What?" I blink.
"What do you want in return?" he growls. "Are you trying to get some sort of hold over me? There's nothing you could possibly gain from helping me!" He's almost forgotten his Gundam, now, leaning precariously over the edge to fix me with a forceful stare.
This guy is intense. "You're a Gundam pilot, just like me, aren't you?" I try to laugh it off. "Haven't you ever heard of honor among thieves?"
"No."
Okay, no go. I give up the joking attitude. "Because I want to help you," I admit with a sigh. "I mean, it was my fault you got stuck in that hospital... sort of... so now I've gotta make it up to you, right?"
"But why?" He almost snarls, and for the first time since I've met him, I can actually read his face. He's frustrated. He doesn't know what to make of me! It's suddenly funny, and I can feel the grin threatening to cross my face again. "What good will it do you?"
"No good at all!" I tell him, the smile coming back. "I just enjoy helping people."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)"But why?" he insists. God, he sounds like a three-year old. I get a sudden image of a silent, scowling toddler with a gun in one hand and a teddy bear in the other, and have to fight not to crack up.
"I just do, that's all. It's just the way I am." He's not convinced. "Really. That's the way I'm wired. There's this little psychological quirk I've got -- sort of a Samaritan virus, you know? It gives me this weird glow on the inside -- I completely get off on it. Don't you? Come on, there's no rush quite like saving someone from a tight spot -- it's such a turn-on --"
The strangest expression crosses his face as I talk, and I can't help but smirk -- payback for fixing his leg right in front of me. "Do you believe me now?" I say abruptly. "Are my reasons cynical enough for you to understand yet?"
I'm putting him on, and it's great to see his expression when he realizes it. He makes this little 'hnph' sound of disgust, and turns back to his Gundam, vanishing from sight. I sigh dramatically. "What a jerk," I say to no-one in particular. "I save his life, not to mention his suit. What kind of an idiot am I? Going to all this trouble for an antisocial, uncooperative, phlegmatic, paranoid -- God! If I had his personality, I'd want to kill myself!"
"Hey, you!"
He spoke to me! Miracles. Maybe someday he'll bother to remember my name. "What, you want lunch after all?" I call back, bouncing the sandwiches on my hand.
His head appears over the platform edge. "Could you shut up for a while?"
Jesus!
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)you're right next to me
I think that you can hear me
funny how the distance learns to grow/
The whine of engines yanks me out of a half-doze, hours later. I sit up, groggy and disoriented -- it's not my Gundam's engines that are firing, so who --
"Son of a bitch," I marvel, as I get to the window in time to see his mobile suit vanish over the horizon. "He got it all repaired last night, after all. What a pilot!"
I guess he'll be all right without my help, after all. Still, I can't shake this strange feeling of -- loss -- I get when I wander into the hangar to attend to my own Gundam; this funny sensation like something's out of place, or missing. No time for that, though; I've gotta get Deathscythe ready for a fight. I climb into the cockpit, and turn it on to run a diagnostic --
I try to, anyway. But the suit doesn't respond, to any of my commands. An awful realization creeps over me, and I lean down to yank out the panels underneath the consoles.
"Son of a bitch!"
Empty. It's empty. That was how he'd gotten his Gundam fixed last night; he stole parts from mine! From my Deathscythe, my partner! "That bastard!" Furious, I climb out of the cockpit and start circling the suit, surveying the damage. He can't accept my help, oh no! He just waits until my back is turned so he can tear it open and steal what he wants from inside!
No way I'm letting him get away with this. Nobody does this to Duo Maxwell. You are not going to get away with stealing from me, Heero --
-- my heart --
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)Five seconds after I woke up, the alarm went off, and chased the rest of the dream away.
With a muddled groan, I reached out to shut it off, and contemplated the day. It was Saturday. Good, that meant I didn't have to go anywhere. I could stay in and sleep late, in the pile of blankets, pillows and laundry that the Webster's Dictionary might define as a "rat's nest." I called it a bed, but then, Webster's defines me as a "slob."
Screw Webster. I turned on the side away from the light that defines 'morning' on L2, and burrowed back underneath the covers. Unfortunately, once the alarm had awakened me, regaining blissful oblivion was a losing prospect. Oh, well. Waste of a perfectly good Saturday morning. I yawned as I stood, attempting to blink away the fuzziness of sleep and the last vestiges of a dream.
(A rattling sound came from the kitchen, accompanied by the smell of frying bacon and toast. "Are you awake, Duo?" called a cheerful voice. "Breakfast is almost ready...")
Sometimes I wondered if something was wrong with me. Other times, like now, I KNEW there was. As near as I can tell, most people only dream when they're asleep. When I sleep, I get flashbacks. I only see dreams when I'm awake. If I'm not paying attention, it can be kind of confusing, trying to tell what's real and what's daydream.
I didn't have a kitchen, of course. I lived in glorious, appalling bachelorhood. I liked to tell myself that was just because I preferred the freedom of living alone.
But bacon sounded nice. I stumbled across my apartment to the area which I designated "cooking place" because it has the refrigerator and hotplate. (I opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice and a couple eggs for breakfast.) Nope, eggs were too expensive on the colonies. And -- yes, it looked like the milk had altered chemical composition again sometime during the night. I'd have to get some more somewhere along the line. Not that I ever drank it; it was just sort of nice to have around. Normal, you know. Plus I kept meaning to try it out as a diesel fuel someday.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:56 am (UTC)Mm, breakfast.
As I ventured the ten-foot odyssey necessary to retrieve my mail, idly I wondered what to do with my time today. Actually getting up to go somewhere seemed like an awful lot of trouble compared to the appeal of loafing around doing nothing. Well, at the very least, I could go shopping. I leafed through the mail; bills, bills, solicitations, (a letter from Hilde, inviting me up to her house for Thanksgiving,) more bills. Bleah. I tossed the mail on top of an untidy stack covering what had probably once been an endtable, which I called a filing system.
I didn't really feel like going shopping. Maybe I'd deal with some of that paperwork, instead. What fun.
Sometime around ten, the phone rang, and I answered it.
("Hello, Duo," Quatre's voice came from the other end. "I'm glad to have caught you at home. A situation's come up back on Earth, that we'd really like your advice on...")
I listened for a few minutes, before replying, "Nah, thanks, I don't want life insurance. You wouldn't believe my premiums," and hanging up. Solicitors, sheesh. You couldn't get rid of them even sixty thousand miles above the Earth's surface. What a wonderful age of technology we lived in; salespeople could interrupt your lives any time of day or night, but you couldn't get hold of your friends or family maybe once or twice in a year.
Maybe I should have gone out, after all. I didn't really feel like working any more; instead, I took a shower. (Someone knocked on the stall door. "Don't use up all the hot water, Duo," came a muffled voice.) When I emerged from the bathroom, it occurred to me for some reason to dig out the black clericals and riding pants I'd worn during the war. For no real purpose, I supposed, except in honor of the person I was steadfastedly not thinking about this morning or any other. No reason except that as long as I was waiting around for something I'd never have, I might as well be dressed to kill the time. They still fit. That was just pathetic. Going on three years and I still hadn't grown.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)(I opened the front door, and a flash of bright green light greeted me, quickly followed by a wave of music as the goblin troupe on the porch broke into song and dance --)
I had to blink several times to dispel the illusion. Even for me, that was weird.
Heero was out on the front step. Keep in mind, please, that this was only slightly less unusual than the singing fairies. I stared at him in shock for several seconds before my brain reconnected with my mouth and I said, "Uh... hi!" Clever Duo. Witty and verbose as always.
He gave me a Look. I wasn't quite sure what kind of Look, but that was definitely a capital L out front. I opened the door a bit wider, so that I could see all of him. Damn, but he looked good. Of course, I have yet to see Heero Yuy look bad, in anything from a tuxedo to a vacuum suit, but I supposed time must have dulled my memories or something, because I didn't recall him ever looking quite this fine. He was taller, and a little more filled out -- still long and lean, but not scrawny any more -- and God but he was still so intense. I'd almost forgotten just how real Heero was, the way he could dominate and draw every eye in the room. I was suddenly aware of my own disheveled state, still slightly damp and mussed from the shower, in the same old musty clothes, with a perfect line of sight to the disaster of my apartment behind me. I made a vain effort to block his vision, and tried speech again. "Heero, man! I didn't expect to see you! It's been a long time, uh, what..."
"Eight months, since the Mariemeia insurrection," he informed me brusquely. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes moving past me into the apartment. "Are you going to let me in?"
What was I supposed to say? "No, Heero, I'm going to leave you standing in the street because I'm afraid I'll jump your ass if I get in a room with you alone." I let him in.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)(I opened the front door, and a flash of bright green light greeted me, quickly followed by a wave of music as the goblin troupe on the porch broke into song and dance --)
I had to blink several times to dispel the illusion. Even for me, that was weird.
Heero was out on the front step. Keep in mind, please, that this was only slightly less unusual than the singing fairies. I stared at him in shock for several seconds before my brain reconnected with my mouth and I said, "Uh... hi!" Clever Duo. Witty and verbose as always.
He gave me a Look. I wasn't quite sure what kind of Look, but that was definitely a capital L out front. I opened the door a bit wider, so that I could see all of him. Damn, but he looked good. Of course, I have yet to see Heero Yuy look bad, in anything from a tuxedo to a vacuum suit, but I supposed time must have dulled my memories or something, because I didn't recall him ever looking quite this fine. He was taller, and a little more filled out -- still long and lean, but not scrawny any more -- and God but he was still so intense. I'd almost forgotten just how real Heero was, the way he could dominate and draw every eye in the room. I was suddenly aware of my own disheveled state, still slightly damp and mussed from the shower, in the same old musty clothes, with a perfect line of sight to the disaster of my apartment behind me. I made a vain effort to block his vision, and tried speech again. "Heero, man! I didn't expect to see you! It's been a long time, uh, what..."
"Eight months, since the Mariemeia insurrection," he informed me brusquely. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes moving past me into the apartment. "Are you going to let me in?"
What was I supposed to say? "No, Heero, I'm going to leave you standing in the street because I'm afraid I'll jump your ass if I get in a room with you alone." I let him in.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)(He turned to me, blue eyes smoldering with an inner fire, and with two swift steps had me pinned against the wall, pressing his body to mine. "I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer," he murmured in a sultry tone, before leaning in to --)
"Mission," Heero said succinctly.
Of course. I perked up a bit. "You have a job for me?" I asked enthusiastically. The salvage business was starting to bore me out of my mind. God forbid I'd wish ill on anyone or jinx Relena's hard-won peace, but a nice little war to break up the monotony would be ever so welcome.
My hopes fell in the next minute, though, when Heero shook his head. "Iie. It's my own mission."
"Oh. Well..." I pushed away from the wall, and brushed past him into the wider space of the apartment. "Go ahead and sit down, Heero -- I'll get you a drink, and you can tell me all about it. That is, uh," I hesitated, turning to him, "if you can tell me all about it."
He paused too, for a moment -- I could see the consideration in his eyes, but after a few seconds he shook his head, almost regretfully. "Not yet, Duo. Maybe once it's done."
"Suit yourself." I went to the refrigerator and secured a couple of beers. Technically we were both under the legal drinking age for the Colonies, but the local wet shop was considerately lax about checking IDs. 'Nice little shop you've got here. It'd be a shame if a seven-ton Gundanium Mobile Suit came crashing in through the ceiling, huh?' So we got along fine, me and the liquor store guy.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)("The perfect soldier does not do social visits," Heero growled at me, pulled out his gun, and shot me.) I took a sizeable gulp of my beer, to chase away that image. Yikes.
He shook his head, oblivious to the funny little pageant going on inside my brain. "No... there's something only you can do."
Suddenly, the whole day looked brighter. There was a stealth mission involved, had to be. Even Heero admitted that no-one could beat the God of Death at stealth. "Sugoi! Just say the word, and I'm there! So what's the job, Hee-chan?"
I had not meant to say that. It just slipped out. Honestly. Well, maybe there was the unconscious desire there. Freud would have a field day with me, even without the little hallucinations. Heero flashed me a startled look that quickly melted into a scowl; I flashed him a cheeky grin that just dared him to call me on it, and took another drink. "Come on, mystery man. What is it this time? Rebels? Terrorists? Paparazzi?" I prodded. He still didn't answer, just sat there and turned the bottle around in his hands. It was empty, and I could not even remember seeing him drink out of it. And since when did the Perfect Soldier drink? If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn he was nervous.
"That's not what I want to talk about now," he said, abruptly standing. He (lowered himself into my lap, pressing his warmth against mine, his hands in my hair, his mouth on my neck) brushed past me on his way to the fridge, setting the empty bottle on the fridge before wheeling abruptly to begin pacing.
This time, I had to fight down the sudden warmth flushing through my body and into my face. My body was gullible; even a daydream was enough to steal my breath away. Oh, God, even being in the same room with him was enough. "Ne, Heero, you're making me dizzy, pacing like that," I drawled wryly, scrunching down a little further on the couch. True. I was very dizzy. "What are you, a lion?"
He stopped, and turned to face me, tension defining every muscle. "I have something to tell you," he said, his normally flat voice infused with some fierce overtone I couldn't identify. "I know that I can trust you enough to tell you this, I know that I can..." He trailed off.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)("The perfect soldier does not do social visits," Heero growled at me, pulled out his gun, and shot me.) I took a sizeable gulp of my beer, to chase away that image. Yikes.
He shook his head, oblivious to the funny little pageant going on inside my brain. "No... there's something only you can do."
Suddenly, the whole day looked brighter. There was a stealth mission involved, had to be. Even Heero admitted that no-one could beat the God of Death at stealth. "Sugoi! Just say the word, and I'm there! So what's the job, Hee-chan?"
I had not meant to say that. It just slipped out. Honestly. Well, maybe there was the unconscious desire there. Freud would have a field day with me, even without the little hallucinations. Heero flashed me a startled look that quickly melted into a scowl; I flashed him a cheeky grin that just dared him to call me on it, and took another drink. "Come on, mystery man. What is it this time? Rebels? Terrorists? Paparazzi?" I prodded. He still didn't answer, just sat there and turned the bottle around in his hands. It was empty, and I could not even remember seeing him drink out of it. And since when did the Perfect Soldier drink? If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn he was nervous.
"That's not what I want to talk about now," he said, abruptly standing. He (lowered himself into my lap, pressing his warmth against mine, his hands in my hair, his mouth on my neck) brushed past me on his way to the fridge, setting the empty bottle on the fridge before wheeling abruptly to begin pacing.
This time, I had to fight down the sudden warmth flushing through my body and into my face. My body was gullible; even a daydream was enough to steal my breath away. Oh, God, even being in the same room with him was enough. "Ne, Heero, you're making me dizzy, pacing like that," I drawled wryly, scrunching down a little further on the couch. True. I was very dizzy. "What are you, a lion?"
He stopped, and turned to face me, tension defining every muscle. "I have something to tell you," he said, his normally flat voice infused with some fierce overtone I couldn't identify. "I know that I can trust you enough to tell you this, I know that I can..." He trailed off.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:57 am (UTC)He took a deep breath, as though gathering his courage, and raised his head to meet my eyes.
("I love you, Duo.")
Somehow, I kept the smile from wavering, even as my heart crumpled. Damn the daydreams, damn the dreams! What good was fantasizing about things that could never happen? Dreams only made reality more painful when they died. "Go on, Heero," I encouraged, my cheerful voice sounding very remote in my ears. "I'm listening."
He stared at me, some flavor of disbelief in his eyes. "Duo, I just told you."
Damn! The hallucination must have masked his voice. "I'm sorry, I must've... zoned out there for a minute." Great Duo, make him think you don't bother to listen. Make him think you don't care. "You mind repeating yourself?" I do care, I do...
"I love you."
This time, the smile did slip, and I shook my head slightly, almost unwillingly. "Geez, Heero, I've got to be really out of it today. I could've sworn you just said that you... that you..." I couldn't even repeat it back. My throat suddenly closed up, and I realized when I tried to swallow that my mouth was dry. When did my heart speed up that much? When did my hands start to shake?
His face was right in front of me, suddenly, grey-blue eyes burning holes right through me. "Duo," he said slowly. "I. Love. You. As... more than a friend." He shifted, uncomfortably, and his gaze slid away. "That's why I came here today. To tell you."
My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't breathe.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. He turned back, with such pure emotion written on his face that it was almost blinding to look upon. "You've done me more kindnesses than I deserve, Duo -- you're so much a better person than I've ever been. I admire you. I respect you. I feel... better when you're around. And..." He closed his eyes. "I've found that I'm attracted to you."
I forced myself to breathe. If I went too long without oxygen, I might wake up. That would be bad.
He took a slow breath, and opened his eyes as he let it out in a sigh. "I only hope that this won't damage our friendship. I know that even if you're... upset... you won't hold it against me." Was there a hint of uncertainty, in his tone?
At last, my mouth unlocked and I could breathe freely again. My mouth was dry as sand; I had to lick my lips before I could speak. "But... what about Relena?" I croaked.
"What about her?" Heero echoed, looking more confused than I thought he had any right to.
"Aren't you and she an... um... item?" I hedged. I mean, for Christ's sake, Relena had been chasing after Heero for as long as I've known either of them. Heero always fought for her, protected her... the knight in shining armor and his white lady. Pay no attention to the stableboy.
"I... no." He cast his eyes downwards. "You have to understand -- Relena is one of the most important people in the universe to me. I admire her ideals, I care about her welfare. But I don't love her... not the way she imagines she loves me." His shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. "Not the way I've found that I love you."
An ironic smile tugged at his lips briefly. "I think I've been too harsh on Relena, all this time. The way she always threw herself at me... I thought she had no self-control at all. But then, the minute I'm finally honest with myself, I come running to L2 to throw myself at you. It's weak, I know. But after I realized, that what I felt for you was love... I just couldn't go on and pretend like nothing had happened." He slumped, dejected. "I don't have that kind of strength."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)I laughed. I think that startled him. It sure as hell startled me. I could hardly breathe, and there I was wasting it on breathless laughter. "Heero..." I finally managed to say when my voice came back to me. "If only you could have taught me some of that weakness... God." I set my bottle down on the table, with trembling hands, before I dropped it, and let my hands fall back to my sides. "I would never have had the strength to be as weak as you."
His grey-blue eyes flared to life, suddenly, as though my words had lit a fire behind them. "What are you saying, Duo?" he growled. He sounded a bit breathless, himself.
A crooked grin stole across my face, like creeping water. "Heero Yuy, you dumbass, I love you too. Christ! I've been in love with you for two years!"
I actually saw him tremble, I swear. "Honto?" he breathed. "But... I never realized..."
"Honto ni," I said softly. The old aching welled up in my throat, behind my voice. "I never told you because... because I thought you'd be disgusted." I let my eyes slip closed. "It was okay if you didn't care, but I couldn't have made it if you hated me. I dunno, maybe I thought you'd finally get around to killing me."
There was a rush of air, and suddenly a firm warm weight settled over me on the couch. My arms automatically went up around Heero, and I settled into him as though two pieces of a puzzle had finally come together, click. Like a key into its lock, or a magnet finding its mate, or anything that was so right. He moved against me, and I felt something soft touch my cheek. "You could never --" he murmured, and his lips moved down to my jawbone -- "disgust me --" to my neck -- "never." I'd never been kissed like that before, not that gently. "I could never hurt you." Never. "I love you too much to hate you."
Two years of loneliness, of wishing and wanting and never daring to touch, seemed to rise up in me and wash away under Heero's touch. He loved me. He loved me? The perfect soldier, the beautiful Heero Yuy, loved me? It was too much to be believed...
"Oh, God," I moaned, opening my eyes to the ceiling above but not seeing it. "This can't be real. This has gotta be a dream. Gotta be." That must be it, I was dreaming. I was suffocating under my covers with a pillow over my face and any minute now the alarm clock would go off.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)God but Heero felt so good.
"It's not a dream," he insisted, a touch of irritation in his voice.
I was having trouble focusing on his face, hovering so close above my own. It wavered in and out of my vision, like a reflection on the surface of water. Or maybe through heat waves. It was so hot in the apartment all of a sudden. "It is," I countered, bemused.
"Does this feel like a dream?" Heero murmured, and I never would have heard it if he hadn't spoken directly on to my skin. His eyes caught mine, and I lay there trapped as he closed the last of the distance.
(His lips pressed against mine and) oh God I swear I could feel every nerve ending (gently at first but with increasing pressure as) his warm soft tongue darted out to run gently across my lips (and I could feel his heartbeat speeding up) where his chest lay flush against mine (and I wanted to feel him) skin to skin...
"It does feel like a dream," I gasped when I regained control of my mind again. "But I don't ever wanna wake up..."
He made a strange little noise, and shifted against me, pulling back enough to see my face again. "This is even better than I expected it would be," he remarked, with a note of surprise in his voice.
I stilled, and managed to work up a fairly convincing glare as I struggled to push myself up on my elbows. It wasn't easy with Heero sitting on my legs and half across my chest, but I at least tried. "You expected?" I repeated, slightly incredulous.
Jesus Frog on a pogo stick. The Perfect Soldier was blushing. He looked away, and stammered out an answer. "Once I realized that... uh... I wanted you, I couldn't help but imagine..."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)God but Heero felt so good.
"It's not a dream," he insisted, a touch of irritation in his voice.
I was having trouble focusing on his face, hovering so close above my own. It wavered in and out of my vision, like a reflection on the surface of water. Or maybe through heat waves. It was so hot in the apartment all of a sudden. "It is," I countered, bemused.
"Does this feel like a dream?" Heero murmured, and I never would have heard it if he hadn't spoken directly on to my skin. His eyes caught mine, and I lay there trapped as he closed the last of the distance.
(His lips pressed against mine and) oh God I swear I could feel every nerve ending (gently at first but with increasing pressure as) his warm soft tongue darted out to run gently across my lips (and I could feel his heartbeat speeding up) where his chest lay flush against mine (and I wanted to feel him) skin to skin...
"It does feel like a dream," I gasped when I regained control of my mind again. "But I don't ever wanna wake up..."
He made a strange little noise, and shifted against me, pulling back enough to see my face again. "This is even better than I expected it would be," he remarked, with a note of surprise in his voice.
I stilled, and managed to work up a fairly convincing glare as I struggled to push myself up on my elbows. It wasn't easy with Heero sitting on my legs and half across my chest, but I at least tried. "You expected?" I repeated, slightly incredulous.
Jesus Frog on a pogo stick. The Perfect Soldier was blushing. He looked away, and stammered out an answer. "Once I realized that... uh... I wanted you, I couldn't help but imagine..."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)His slate-blue eyes softened, and he smiled. Not one of those insufferably smug smirks that I always want to smack off his face, but a real smile. "As long as one of us knows what we're doing."
I think he knocked over my beer when he pounced on me, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to give a damn. It was all junk anyway, except for Heero... He rested his cheek on my collarbone, and I my chin in the wild disarray of his hair. I still could hardly believe that this was real. It was a dream, a fantasy, a little piece of paradise. I felt a warmth growing inside the bottom of my chest, and it spread up and outwards until I was encased in a little bubble of bliss; just me and Heero, not my ratty apartment or Relena or anyone else in the world. At some point, I realized that words were coming from my lips, without my conscious thought to shape them. Figures. The happiest moment of my life and I couldn't even shut up to enjoy it. Oh, what was it I was saying...
"Aishiteru -- I love you -- I'd do anything for you, Heero. You mean the world to me. For two years, you've been all I can see... all I can think about. I'd die to protect you..."
"...I'd kill to keep you safe." A soft voice blended with mine, my thoughts, his voice. God.
"You make me do things I never thought I could do."
"You make me feel things I never knew I could feel." Do you feel what I feel? Even a little of what I feel? I just hope so, I just hope you're as happy as I am, although it doesn't seem possible that anyone could be...
"...without you, I'm not complete..."
"...not really alive. Without you..."
"...I've been so lonely." I don't want to be alone, now that I've found you.
"Before I knew you -- "
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:59 am (UTC)"But I never knew that there was any other way to be." I didn't know these words, these feelings were inside him. Are they new? Are they for me? God, I wish, I wish... God, please let this happen.
"Stay with me?" I plead.
"Always. Always."
~owari~
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:59 am (UTC)(outtake)
His face was right in front of me, suddenly, grey-blue eyes burning holes right through me. "Duo," he said slowly. "I. Love. You. As... more than a friend." He shifted, uncomfortably, and his gaze slid away. "That's why I came here today. To tell you."
My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't breathe. I dropped my beer and began rolling around on the floor, gasping and wheezing. Damn fibrillations.
"Inhaler!" I gasped out. "Must have inhaler!"
He just looked confused. "This wasn't in the script..."
Too late. I died.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:59 am (UTC)(outtake)
His face was right in front of me, suddenly, grey-blue eyes burning holes right through me. "Duo," he said slowly. "I. Love. You. As... more than a friend." He shifted, uncomfortably, and his gaze slid away. "That's why I came here today. To tell you."
My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't breathe. I dropped my beer and began rolling around on the floor, gasping and wheezing. Damn fibrillations.
"Inhaler!" I gasped out. "Must have inhaler!"
He just looked confused. "This wasn't in the script..."
Too late. I died.