Family Trees

[Scene: GW Common Room. All the boyz are mainly hanging around, doing whatever it is that they do on their downtime. Stuff that does not include fucking 24/7. Quatre is going over WEI reports, Wufei is going through his forms, Trowa is looking over some Preventers paperwork, Heero is reading a book and Duo is channel-surfing.]

[Thump on the door]

Duo: I'll get it! [flings open the door and a surprised happy look appears on his face] Woo ha! Wow! You haven't been here in ages! Hey! Hee-chan! Guess who's here!

[all the boyz stop what they're doing and look up at the door]

Sakura: [*this* Sakura looks to be locking in at about 20 years old, wearing a tasteful pink shirt and black skirt] Hello, everyone.

Heero: [eyes wide] O... Okaa-san...!

Sakura: [immediately gives Heero a big hug] Ah! Heero-kun! It's been a while! You look a little pale. Have you been sleeping well?

Heero: H-hai. I'm fine, Mother. The Writer has been working us all pretty hard.

Sakura: [smiles and tugs Heero to sit beside her on the couch. Duo sits on her other side and Wufei leans against an arm] I know! I suppose we should all be glad that the Writer is actually *working* on something, but we haven't heard a peep from her lately.

Wufei: Trying to get some bunnywork done?

Sakura: Well, we don't really mind. Ours is an epic afterall. I feel sorry for the OCs though. They don't get any time at all.

Duo: Yeah, Shinji was pitching a fit the other day. He *really* doesn't like that AU that spun off their fic. Says he isn't a Yaoi Muse.

Wufei: [snorts] Kazeno lives in denial.

Sakura: Well, you should just leave him be. I'm sure he'll figure out his feeling sooner or later. All of you are looking tired, actually. Are you sure you boys have been eating?

[There is a strange silence. Duo starts laughing hysterically, Wufei is blushing, the file of papers has slipped out of Quatre's hand as he struggles to contain his laughter, Trowa is smiling and Heero is just plain embarassed.]

Sakura: [confused] Hoe?

Quatre: [between chuckles] We... get PLENTY to eat, Sakura-san.

Sakura: Well, I was going to cook you up something--

Duo: [glomps her] Wai! Food! No wonder we all love you!

Sakura: [blushing] Well, I wasn't doing much today, so I decided to visit. Heero-kun, you really should go to our wing more often. I know your father would love to spend time with you.

Heero: Hai, okaa-san. I'll try.

Sakura: Oh! I almost forgot! On my way here, I bumped into someone looking for all of you!

Duo: Huh? We weren't expecting anyone. Who is it?

Sakura: [goes back to the door and sticks her head out into the hallway] Oh good, you're still here! Come in, please!

[All G-boyz look curiously at the door. Their eyes widen in various states of shock, disgust, disbelief, or just plain what-the-fuck]

Relena: Good afternoon, everyone.

Duo: [pointing] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Control Issues

[Scene: still the GW Common Room. Relena is standing in the doorway with Sakura beside her. Duo is pointing at her]

Duo: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Relena: [smug] Isn't it obvious? I'm a Muse.

Duo: [infuriated] NO! H-E-L-L N-O!!! *I* am the main Muse in this mansion, and I'm not letting you stay!

[Relena steps farther into the room. Heero, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei all take discrete steps back. Duo just steps forward to be almost face-to-face with the girl]

Relena: You can't get rid of me. I've already been a first person POV in a *completed* fic.

Duo: Doesn't count! That fic was about *us* mostly, not about you... even if it was a sympathetic!RFO.

Relena: [shrugs] No matter what you say, I have a legitimate reason for being a Muse.

Duo: Isn't bad enough that I did that ficsnip last night?! I lost *weight* after hurling that much! Even the Writer helped me kill that damn bunny!

Relena: But what about this? [she pulls out a fat little bunny out of nowhere. It's wearing a black collar with a tag. The tag has musical notes on it]

Duo: [scowls] Songfic bunnies don't count! The Writer gets attacked by them ALL THE TIME and she writes maybe one out of a hundred if you're lucky. All of us have multiple songifcs in the works, too. You're gonna have to try harder, ojou-san.

Relena: [smiles] If that's the case, then why is the Writer downloading my song as we speak?

Heero: [looks up from where he's examining the bunny and pales] She wouldn't.

Relena: Listen to what's being piped through the sound system, Heero. The Writer is getting inspired.

Heero: [losing his temper] No dammit! It's not fair! Why the hell do *I* keep having to take all the insane fics?! First it's Quatre and his damn non-PWP. Then it's that bastard!Heero-songfic that the Writer wants to do, where not only am I an abusive *prick,* but Duo leaves me for Wufei! Now THIS?! There's no way in HELL I'm going to be pussywhipped!

Duo: [cheering] You tell her, Hee-chan!

Relena: [cringes] It's not that bad, Heero...

Heero: NO! I can't take much more of these "naked and shell-shocked" scenarios!

Relena: [feebly] But... you get to be with Duo at the end...

Heero: And that makes up for a whole fic of me angsting and being a stupid-weak-willed-PANSY?! OVER MY DEAD BODY.

[Pinging sound. Everyone cringes]

Relena: [weakly] Looks like the song is downloaded.

["Anything Anything" by Dramarama starts being piped through the mansion]

Duo: [hugging Heero] Looks like it *is* over your dead body afterall.