Goodbye LJ...

[windandwater]

This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;

Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!

♥

Comments

Re: Torn 5

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

I couldn't listen any more. I couldn't believe any more; my vision of the other four pilots as my friends, as a family, was shattered. I had left them alone, innocently believing that they would continue to take care of each other -- that Duo would protect the hope of the three quiet soldiers in my absence, and they would protect his faith. But now everything had gone so horribly wrong -- Duo was dead, and his ghost was defiled with hatred towards the people who had done this to him. Towards the man I loved as my own heart, and the man I trusted as my brother. And Heero -- Allah, I didn't want to think about Heero. I didn't want to realize what he had done, when he had betrayed not only Duo, but his own soul. I had seen the spirit-rending injuries in Heero's mind when I touched him with my Spaceheart only days ago now, but I hadn't understood them. Now, I did -- I understood only too well. I had made the naive assumption that all I had to do was find Duo, the carefree and loving Duo I remembered, and all the rest of the problems would take care of themselves. Duo could heal me and Trowa and Wufei just by living, and he could save Heero through his love, and he could make everything all right. And now we had found Duo, but nothing could ever be right again. I heard a low keening fill the room, and barely recognized it as my own voice as the cocktail of Duo's rage and Trowa's guilt and my own miserable frustration bubbled up through my chest. I couldn't see, couldn't hear myself even as I jumped off of the couch and began shouting. "Stop it stop it STOP THIS NOW!" I screamed, unmindful of any consequences.

Duo's eyes widened, and his aim momentarily wavered between me and Wufei. Wufei was watching him closely, and in the moment of Duo's inattention, he sprang towards him, his hand going to his own pistol. Duo's gun immediately snapped back to Wufei and fired, once, twice. I watched, frozen in horror, as two explosions of red burst through the white fabric of Wufei's shirt; the Chinese pilot slammed back against the wall, then crumpled to the ground like a broken doll. The gun he had started to draw spun away from his nerveless hand and clattered to the floor.

A strangled croak of denial filled the air, and it took me a moment to realize that it came from my lover, not from me. Trowa broke out of his paralysis, and scrambled forward on his hands and knees, going for Wufei's gun. As though in slow motion, Duo's gun swung around to center on Trowa, and his finger tightened on the trigger. But I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let that happen.

I moved faster than I ever thought possible, throwing myself between Trowa and the gun. I barely had time to wonder if I was going to die, and if it would be anything like Duo had described to me; just as the gun fired, Duo's arm jerked to the side, and the bullet hissed past me to embed itself in the wall of the room. Everyone froze; Trowa reaching for the gun, me in a protective half-crouch over him, and Duo with his gun trained on both of us.

Re: Torn 5

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

"Quatre," he said, breaking through the silence; his breaths came rapidly and shallowly, even though it wasn't him who had been leaping across the room. "I don't want to shoot you but if you don't get out of my way I swear to God I will."

I blinked to clear my vision, and looked up to face the dark gray glint of the gun barrel, and a strange calm fell over me at the sight. "No," I said, quietly and firmly.

"Goddamit, Quatre!" His voice cracked, and his shaking hands tightened on the gun's handle. "Move!"

Slowly, I shook my head from side to side. "I won't."

"Quatre..." Duo muttered, his voice full of grim purpose. "I'll shoot through you if I have to."

"Little one -- please --" I heard the muffled voice from behind me, felt Trowa stir as he struggled to climb to his feet, to move beyond my protection. Duo's aim tracked him in the blink of an eye, and immediately I shifted position until I was once again between him and the gun. Trowa let out a choked sob. "Please, Quatre -- don't do this. I'm not worth it. It's only what I deserve. Please, get out of the way..."

"I can't, Trowa." I was shaking, and my voice shook too, but my resolution was rock-steady. "I can't let you put yourself first this time. It doesn't matter what you think of yourself, but you are worth it to me. And I won't move."

"Why," Duo breathed. His face had gone pale as death.

I raised my eyes from the dark circle of the gun barrel to meet his gaze, and I didn't flinch from what I saw there. "Because I love him," I said softly.

For a moment more we stood frozen; his violet eyes wide and stricken locked with mine. Then rage overtook him, and transformed him; a feral snarl drew back his lips, and Heero's beautiful features were twisted into an ugly visage of jealousy and hate. He flung the gun against the wall as though he would break it into a thousand pieces, and threw back his head and gave vent to an animalistic howl of rage. His cry of fury quickly degenerated into a scream of verbal obscenities, and threw all his weight against the chain that bound him as though he could break it in his frenzy. "Damn you god damn you damn you GOD DAMN YOU ALL!" he screamed. The air in the room never stirred, but every loose object in the room shook and rattled in place in time with Duo's voice.

Re: Torn 5

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

I was beginning to wonder if maybe I should go for one of the guns, or if that would just draw his rage back down on me, when his voice broke from its frenzy with a suddenness too sharply defined to be natural. His entire body shuddered violently, and a sudden suspicion inspired me to look into his eyes.

Clear as crystal. Blue.

Heero stared at me for a moment, his eyes darting from side to side like a hunted animal, and then the moment was past and Duo was back. And he knew what had happened; he realized what was happening, and fought against Heero's returning personality with every ounce of his strength. His speech became disjointed, stuttered, as the two spirits struggled for dominion of the same body.

"DAMN you, Heero -- what have you -- let me go, let me go! -- what have you done? -- I won't go back, I won't -- give me back -- NO! You don't OWN ME! -- let go, Duo! I won't allow -- I'm not your prisoner, Heero! Let me GO!"

The final anguished cry hung in the air for a long moment; Heero's body was wracked by a final convulsive shudder, and he reached up to drag his hands over his face. The furniture lurched in place one last time, this last the most violent. The notepad and pen that had rested on the shelf teetered on the edge for a moment before sliding off and tumbling across the floor. It came to rest a few feet away, and I stared at it for a long moment before I dragged my gaze up to stare at the only boy left standing.

Heero looked back at me, his deep blue eyes bright and closed and revealing nothing. But this mirror had cracks in it; for the first time I could see past the reflective surface into the blackness that lay behind it.

I knew, then, that he knew what he had done.

Without a word, Heero pressed a code into the handcuffs on his wrists; they fell open and landed on the floor with a metallic clatter. Swiftly, precisely, Heero moved past me and Trowa and knelt at Wufei's side; with perfect efficiency, he checked the Chinese boy's condition. A weak groan emanated from him, indicating that he was, at least, alive, and without a moment's hesitation Heero began ripping apart Wufei's shirt for bandages.

I stood, my legs weak and unsteady, and pulled away from Trowa, ignoring the fear and frantic desire that crossed through his link to me. Instead, I moved the few steps it took to put distance between us, then knelt down and picked up the notepad. Duo's last words before he gave himself over to the hunger of vengeance.

You ran out of luck, Heero.

I'll see you in Hell.

Re: Torn 5

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

I was beginning to wonder if maybe I should go for one of the guns, or if that would just draw his rage back down on me, when his voice broke from its frenzy with a suddenness too sharply defined to be natural. His entire body shuddered violently, and a sudden suspicion inspired me to look into his eyes.

Clear as crystal. Blue.

Heero stared at me for a moment, his eyes darting from side to side like a hunted animal, and then the moment was past and Duo was back. And he knew what had happened; he realized what was happening, and fought against Heero's returning personality with every ounce of his strength. His speech became disjointed, stuttered, as the two spirits struggled for dominion of the same body.

"DAMN you, Heero -- what have you -- let me go, let me go! -- what have you done? -- I won't go back, I won't -- give me back -- NO! You don't OWN ME! -- let go, Duo! I won't allow -- I'm not your prisoner, Heero! Let me GO!"

The final anguished cry hung in the air for a long moment; Heero's body was wracked by a final convulsive shudder, and he reached up to drag his hands over his face. The furniture lurched in place one last time, this last the most violent. The notepad and pen that had rested on the shelf teetered on the edge for a moment before sliding off and tumbling across the floor. It came to rest a few feet away, and I stared at it for a long moment before I dragged my gaze up to stare at the only boy left standing.

Heero looked back at me, his deep blue eyes bright and closed and revealing nothing. But this mirror had cracks in it; for the first time I could see past the reflective surface into the blackness that lay behind it.

I knew, then, that he knew what he had done.

Without a word, Heero pressed a code into the handcuffs on his wrists; they fell open and landed on the floor with a metallic clatter. Swiftly, precisely, Heero moved past me and Trowa and knelt at Wufei's side; with perfect efficiency, he checked the Chinese boy's condition. A weak groan emanated from him, indicating that he was, at least, alive, and without a moment's hesitation Heero began ripping apart Wufei's shirt for bandages.

I stood, my legs weak and unsteady, and pulled away from Trowa, ignoring the fear and frantic desire that crossed through his link to me. Instead, I moved the few steps it took to put distance between us, then knelt down and picked up the notepad. Duo's last words before he gave himself over to the hunger of vengeance.

You ran out of luck, Heero.

I'll see you in Hell.