Goodbye LJ...

[windandwater]

This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;

Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!

♥

Comments

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

"When he finally came out, something inside him was broken. This was not the same as the despair he had fallen into before; it was darker, colder. Less human. He moved out of his old quarters; what he did with his and Duo's old things, I don't know. He certainly doesn't have them now.

"He returned to his duties with a vengeance, pushing up the pace of the war exponentially. Whatever was driving him, he became a demon on the battlefield. The troops, frankly, are terrified of him -- yet every mission he set out to undertake, he completed, with a ruthlessness I have never seen before. There was a darkness growing about him, and it continued growing for the last three weeks in December. And then..."

Wufei trailed off, a deep frown on his face. I nearly held my breath; whatever he was getting to, it was important, I just knew it. All my attention was focused on Wufei's half-shadowed face as he picked up the trail of his dark story, his words no less powerful for the quiet, matter-of-fact tone he used. "One day at the end of December, someone delivered a box to him. Not very big, not very noticeable. I remember seeing it when the man brought it into his office and put it on his desk; I didn't really think anything of it until later. That night, though, something very strange happened. I was awakened in the middle of the night by one of the security officers; a good and brave man, but he was terrified half out of his mind. He told me that half of the crew were suffering from intense nightmares, and that half of the rest were nearly mad with fear. He was not overreacting. There was a crawling terror in the air which I cannot rightly describe, and the environmental controls were not working properly -- the temperature was rapidly dropping no matter what the engineers tried to do. I went to Heero's cabin to inform him of the situation, but the door was locked and I was unable to initiate an override. In the end, I hacked into one of the security cameras in Heero's room. And as soon as I saw him, I knew that whatever madness had overtaken the base, Heero Yuy was at the heart of it.

"He was standing in front of the box that had been delivered to him that day, looking at it; the lid was up, but the angle was such that I could not see what it was he saw. His expression was not one ever meant to cross a human face; some of it might have been rage, or terror, or pain, but calling it that is like comparing a candle flame to a bonfire. There was not very much in the room that wasn't bolted down, aside from the box, but everything in it was shaking as if in an earthquake or a high wind, with no apparent cause. Whatever went on in that room unseen by human eyes, the audio recorded nothing but static.

"I am not ashamed to tell you that I was afraid. I shut down the security camera, destroyed the recording, and wondered if I should try to evacuate the base. I was just entering the communications center to issue a station-wide alert, when all of a sudden a chill ran down my spine, all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and then it was over. I did not need to look at the camera again to know that it was over; the madness was gone from the air, and the men began to calm down. It never happened again after that one night."

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

He stopped then, watching my face as I took in this fantastic story, and I nodded, slowly, as I digested it. I knew that he was neither lying, nor overreacting; if Wufei believed he saw something, heard something, or even that things had occurred which could be neither heard or seen, then he was correct. I had no doubts. My mind clicked backwards, to the ridiculous New Year's Eve party I had attended, playing ambassador to the colonies for more than two dozen of Earth's most important diplomats. I remembered how, as the evening wore to a close, I had fled to an uninhabited corner of the garden. Tired, slightly drunk , thoroughly sick of playing word-games with bitter old men, and very lonely, I had watched the stars and reached out for my friends with my Spaceheart. It was a long way, but I could still seek and touch the distant luminous soul that hummed in time with my own heart, Trowa. I could still see the flickering bonfire glow of Wufei's fierce pride. And I could feel the bright sparkle of Duo's cheerful, vivacious spirit. I missed them, and for a long time I had remained in the garden, content to be with my friends in spirit, if not in body. That was the reason Trowa's announcement had caught me so off guard; all those times over the past months I had reached for and found my friends' presences had given me no reason to suspect anything was wrong. If anything, I would have been concerned for Heero, not for Duo, because it was his presence I missed. Only now did that absence begin to make sense; how could I have seen the black void that Heero had become against the cold nothingness of space?

"And now?" I said at last. Wufei shrugged slightly, and spread his hands to show his own helplessness.

"Now, I cannot say for certain," he sighed. "Since early January I have spent more time out of the base than in it. It was necessary for me to join with the troops; someone had to maintain loyalty and morale, and the troops continue to be terrified of Heero. I cannot in good conscience blame them; although he is no longer growing worse in his darkness, neither is he healing, and his eyes..."

Wufei broke off, and looked up to meet my gaze. "You, of all people, do not need me to tell you what is in his eyes," he said dryly. "So: You tell me. When you looked into his heart, what did you see?"

"Nothing." I shivered involuntarily, just remembering it. "I could see nothing."

"Empty enough for the wind to howl through..." Wufei murmured, more to himself than to me. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me in puzzled inquiry.

"I didn't say he was empty..." I struggled for words to describe it, the feeling of heart-to-heart transfer that human language never made words for. "Only that whatever is there, I can't see it. It's like you said, Wufei -- the darkness. It's like a living thing."

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

He stopped then, watching my face as I took in this fantastic story, and I nodded, slowly, as I digested it. I knew that he was neither lying, nor overreacting; if Wufei believed he saw something, heard something, or even that things had occurred which could be neither heard or seen, then he was correct. I had no doubts. My mind clicked backwards, to the ridiculous New Year's Eve party I had attended, playing ambassador to the colonies for more than two dozen of Earth's most important diplomats. I remembered how, as the evening wore to a close, I had fled to an uninhabited corner of the garden. Tired, slightly drunk , thoroughly sick of playing word-games with bitter old men, and very lonely, I had watched the stars and reached out for my friends with my Spaceheart. It was a long way, but I could still seek and touch the distant luminous soul that hummed in time with my own heart, Trowa. I could still see the flickering bonfire glow of Wufei's fierce pride. And I could feel the bright sparkle of Duo's cheerful, vivacious spirit. I missed them, and for a long time I had remained in the garden, content to be with my friends in spirit, if not in body. That was the reason Trowa's announcement had caught me so off guard; all those times over the past months I had reached for and found my friends' presences had given me no reason to suspect anything was wrong. If anything, I would have been concerned for Heero, not for Duo, because it was his presence I missed. Only now did that absence begin to make sense; how could I have seen the black void that Heero had become against the cold nothingness of space?

"And now?" I said at last. Wufei shrugged slightly, and spread his hands to show his own helplessness.

"Now, I cannot say for certain," he sighed. "Since early January I have spent more time out of the base than in it. It was necessary for me to join with the troops; someone had to maintain loyalty and morale, and the troops continue to be terrified of Heero. I cannot in good conscience blame them; although he is no longer growing worse in his darkness, neither is he healing, and his eyes..."

Wufei broke off, and looked up to meet my gaze. "You, of all people, do not need me to tell you what is in his eyes," he said dryly. "So: You tell me. When you looked into his heart, what did you see?"

"Nothing." I shivered involuntarily, just remembering it. "I could see nothing."

"Empty enough for the wind to howl through..." Wufei murmured, more to himself than to me. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me in puzzled inquiry.

"I didn't say he was empty..." I struggled for words to describe it, the feeling of heart-to-heart transfer that human language never made words for. "Only that whatever is there, I can't see it. It's like you said, Wufei -- the darkness. It's like a living thing."

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Another moment of silence passed, and then Wufei pushed back his chair with a sigh of regret. "I'm beginning to think I should not have left," he almost whispered. "Perhaps if I had stayed, I could have broken through to him, somehow let him know that he was not alone. But he seemed to be getting stronger..."

The agonized doubt in his hooded eyes made my heart clench. "Don't," I said, impulsively reaching across the table to place a hand over his. "You couldn't have known, and that's not where your strength lies. You and Trowa both did what you could, there's no need to feel guilty..."

"Maybe not," Wufei said quietly, pulling his hand away from mine. "But the truth remains that I abandoned a comrade in need, and it will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that."

I bit my lip and nodded; there wasn't anything I could do to change his mind, really. "Let's go find Trowa," I said instead, wanting to get moving as soon as possible. I pushed back my own chair and stood, stretching the stiffness and chill out of my muscles. "And then I think we should find out all we can from Heero's quarters before he comes back."

"Heero's quarters?" Wufei blinked in surprise as he, too, stood. "He keeps them quite thoroughly sealed -- he is a terrorist, you know..."

"Wufei," I reminded him gently, "so are we."



"Stay here," Trowa directed the guard, gesturing to the hallway, "and don't allow anyone to come down this corridor. Remain here until we return, or unless you receive word that Commander Yuy is back. I've instructed the docking area to call us if he does, but it is wise to take precautions."

"Yes, sir," the young man acknowledged, but swallowed nervously. "May I, uh, ask what you're doing, sir?" he said tentatively.

Wufei regarded him gravely, somehow managing to keep a calm and dignified authority about him although the guard was ten years older and seven inches taller than he was. "I'm afraid not, Sergeant Frith," he said gently. "It's not something I'm free to talk about."

He nodded, but still looked nervous. "I... I just wanted to know..." he stuttered slightly, "will I get into trouble with the Yuki for this?"

I saw Trowa wince out of the corner of my eye, and wondered what that was about. Wufei, though, didn't blink. "I should think not, Sergeant. If any trouble comes of this, it will be directed at us, not at you," he reassured.

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Another moment of silence passed, and then Wufei pushed back his chair with a sigh of regret. "I'm beginning to think I should not have left," he almost whispered. "Perhaps if I had stayed, I could have broken through to him, somehow let him know that he was not alone. But he seemed to be getting stronger..."

The agonized doubt in his hooded eyes made my heart clench. "Don't," I said, impulsively reaching across the table to place a hand over his. "You couldn't have known, and that's not where your strength lies. You and Trowa both did what you could, there's no need to feel guilty..."

"Maybe not," Wufei said quietly, pulling his hand away from mine. "But the truth remains that I abandoned a comrade in need, and it will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that."

I bit my lip and nodded; there wasn't anything I could do to change his mind, really. "Let's go find Trowa," I said instead, wanting to get moving as soon as possible. I pushed back my own chair and stood, stretching the stiffness and chill out of my muscles. "And then I think we should find out all we can from Heero's quarters before he comes back."

"Heero's quarters?" Wufei blinked in surprise as he, too, stood. "He keeps them quite thoroughly sealed -- he is a terrorist, you know..."

"Wufei," I reminded him gently, "so are we."



"Stay here," Trowa directed the guard, gesturing to the hallway, "and don't allow anyone to come down this corridor. Remain here until we return, or unless you receive word that Commander Yuy is back. I've instructed the docking area to call us if he does, but it is wise to take precautions."

"Yes, sir," the young man acknowledged, but swallowed nervously. "May I, uh, ask what you're doing, sir?" he said tentatively.

Wufei regarded him gravely, somehow managing to keep a calm and dignified authority about him although the guard was ten years older and seven inches taller than he was. "I'm afraid not, Sergeant Frith," he said gently. "It's not something I'm free to talk about."

He nodded, but still looked nervous. "I... I just wanted to know..." he stuttered slightly, "will I get into trouble with the Yuki for this?"

I saw Trowa wince out of the corner of my eye, and wondered what that was about. Wufei, though, didn't blink. "I should think not, Sergeant. If any trouble comes of this, it will be directed at us, not at you," he reassured.

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

He gave the young man a final, decisive nod, and then turned and paced down the short passageway into Heero's room. Trowa and I turned to follow, and I took the opportunity to whisper into my lover's ear. "Yuki? What does that mean?"

Trowa's mouth tightened slightly, before he answered. "The troops call Heero the Yuki-Akuma... the ice demon." After a moment he added, "Not in his hearing, though."

I didn't blame them. Snow demon, indeed. The thought seemed particularly appropriate when I saw Heero's quarters.

It had taken the combined efforts of Trowa, Wufei and myself almost fifteen minutes to dismantle the lock Heero had set on his quarters, and five more to keep the alarms and bombs rigged into it from going off, but now we were in. I don't know what I was expecting us to find, that Heero had gone to all that trouble to protect, but it certainly wasn't what was actually there.

Nothing.

Very close to it, anyway. A bed -- if you could dignify it with that title; it was an old military-issue cot that I knew from experience provided all the sleeping comfort of an equivalently sized block of lead. A desk, a wireframe chair, and a computer. One doorway -- no door -- led to an adjoining bathroom. Any self-respecting Spartan would have immediately gone furniture shopping, but as sparse as it was, it seemed to fit Heero's personality. No, the only odd thing about the room was that every inch of it had been painted pure white. Walls, floor, bed, bathroom, computer and all -- the same stark unyielding white. The lighting was more of those damn halogens, and the completed effect was nothing short of blinding.

Trowa immediately sat down at the computer and began hacking. I knew it would take him some time, if he managed to get anything out of it at all, but there wasn't anything else in the room that might offer us some clues. Wufei moved into the bathroom and began checking -- for what, I wasn't sure; possibly razors or pills or anything else that might signal a deathwish. This left me to prowl around the perimeter of the tiny room and stare at the whitewashed walls. Not a smudge of dirt anywhere. It was unnerving, let me tell you that -- and certainly didn't fit in with my impressions of Heero's mental state. "Why white?" I muttered, as I joined Wufei in the bathroom. It was inane, but the only thing my mind could really process at the moment. I noted in passing that the cabinet door was empty, tiny slices of glass around the edges the only things indicating that it had once held a mirror.

Wufei closed the cabinet and looked at me, his own eyes unreadable. "For death," he said simply, and moved to watch over Trowa's shoulder.

I had nothing to do but wander back and forth across the uncarpeted floor again, and try to quell my growing uneasiness. "How can he live like this?" I said out loud, as much to myself as the other two. "You said he spends most of his time in here. But it's so blank. What did he do with all his things? And Duo's?"

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

"Possibly he burned them when Duo died," Trowa suggested absently, but Wufei straightened up, his own eyes narrowed.

"For that matter," he murmured, "what became of that box I saw through the camera? I badly want to know what was in it." He abandoned Trowa to begin his own search of the room, much more efficient then mine. I felt vaguely upstaged, and there was a strange feeling in my chest that drove me restlessly to pace.

I found myself stopped in front of his closet, holding the door open. It had suffered the same whitewash treatment as the rest of the room, but a quick glance was enough to assure me that he didn't use it. I was going to move away, but felt an odd tugging in my chest, drawing me into the blank space.

Behind me, Trowa sighed and pushed his chair back. "Either there's nothing here, or he's hidden it so deeply I can't find it," he proclaimed. "It's all mission data, every bit of it. I'm beginning to think this was a waste of time."

Wufei agreed with him, but the strange feeling just wouldn't leave me alone as I ran my hands over the closet back. I don't know why; there wasn't anything there, and I was startled out of my wits when there was a sudden, hollow click and the back panel of the closet slid away. I jerked my hands back, startled, as the outline of a door resolved itself, and backed up a step before stumbling into a warm body behind me. Twisting my head around, I saw Wufei and Trowa intently staring over my shoulder; Wufei shoved me slightly to one side so that he could wriggle into the closet with me as he ran his hands over the door.

"I take it you didn't know about this?" I muttered to Trowa as I backed out of the closet to give Wufei better access. He just shook his head, his green eyes intent on the hidden doorway as Wufei located its release catch and it slid open with a hiss and a hydraulic-sounding clank. Seriously heavy security, then, I thought; undoubtedly soundproof, blast-proof... I bet the rest of this wall is too. But if there's something in there he wanted to protect so much, why didn't he lock the door? As if there wasn't enough security on the hallway door... Then Wufei stepped into the hidden room, and I followed, and the puzzle over locks was shunted to a much lower priority on my list of questions.

The room beyond was warm. That was the first thing I noticed; really warm, even more so than the briefing room and Trowa's quarters. The outer chamber had been as cold as the rest of the station, if not more so, but in here it had to be at least thirty degrees. It was dark, and I groped along the inside wall for the panel to bring up the lights, and gasped at what the soft rosy illumination revealed. In this tiny space -- almost as large as the outer cabin, but everything crowded into it made it seem a lot smaller, or at least cozier -- was every bit of color and softness that was lacking elsewhere in the station. The walls were painted a soft violet, what I could see of them -- most of the space was taken up with pictures or posters. Half of one wall was taken up by a bookshelf, and wedged in the corner was -- yes, that was definitely a telescreen. It looked... it looked like a college student's dorm room, not a secret passageway surrounded by blastproof steel in the heart of a military base. There was a folded-out couchbed taking up much of the floorspace, and pillows and blankets strewn everywhere else. How Heero had gotten the bed in through that tiny doorway was beyond me. How he had gotten any of these things here without anyone noticing boggled the mind. And as for why --

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Trowa eased past me into the room, and I realized I'd been standing and staring for almost thirty seconds, entranced by the vision of comfort and domesticity that had unexpectedly appeared before me. Muttering a quick apology, I stepped forward into the room, careful not to trip on the scattered cushions as I began to search. I didn't know exactly what it was I was looking for, but at least there was something in this room worth looking at. I went over to the bookshelf, and scanned along the rows. Most of the titles I didn't recognize, but enough of them were fantasy or adventure to assure me that they had never come from Heero Straightedge Yuy's collection of training manuals and historical novels. A flash of color caught my eye, and -- I checked -- a neat stack of well-worn manga was hiding on the bookshelf. "These are all Duo's things," I murmured, straightening up and scanning the posters on the walls. Now that I knew what to look for, I recognized some of them as Duo's taste in music, or art (if you could call it music and art; I certainly didn't.) "What is this place -- some sort of shrine to Duo's memory?"

"Heero," Wufei said from the other side of the room, "is not a religious man, but his heritage is Shinto. If he were to build a memory shrine, he would do it properly, of that I have no -- ah?" This last was said to himself, as he opened a cabinet and pulled down a cardboard box from it. His black eyes narrowed as he inspected the contents, and he said, "Quatre, I think you'd better come have a look at this..."

"What is it?" I crossed the room to his side as quickly as I could without tripping, and a single glance into the box was enough to destroy the illusion of normalcy that the room's other furnishings had created. The box was a jumbled mass of metal; manacles, locks, and chains, all completely functional. On top of the mess was a pair of handcuffs; I felt my face flush slightly as I lifted them from the box and realized that they were padded. "I hadn't known that Heero and Duo were into that sort of thing..."

"They weren't!" Wufei snapped, turning the handcuffs over. "Look at this -- code-locks. Expensive, advanced, and practically unhackable -- and all of these restraints are made of gundanium alloy! These things are completely functional, virtually indestructible, and definitely not meant to be toys." He placed the cuffs back into the box, and searched along the wall for something; his hand stopped on a heavy metal bar that melded into the wall. He shook his head, and dropped his hand away from it.

Trowa joined us in inspecting our find. "I had wondered why the way in here was unsecured," he said, echoing my earlier sentiment. "I was wrong. This room does lock -- from the inside. Another code-lock."

I shook my head in bafflement. "Why? It doesn't make sense. If you really want to keep someone prisoner, then there's a fully functional brig with much better security. And this place is... nicer than anywhere else on the station, that's for certain. It's..." I struggled for words a moment, then shrugged helplessly. "It's warm."

Trowa nodded. "I wonder why the environmentals..." but I interrupted him.

"That wasn't what I meant. I meant it feels... warm." I lifted one hand to my chest. "In here."

"Your Spaceheart?" Trowa's eyes lit with understanding.

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Trowa eased past me into the room, and I realized I'd been standing and staring for almost thirty seconds, entranced by the vision of comfort and domesticity that had unexpectedly appeared before me. Muttering a quick apology, I stepped forward into the room, careful not to trip on the scattered cushions as I began to search. I didn't know exactly what it was I was looking for, but at least there was something in this room worth looking at. I went over to the bookshelf, and scanned along the rows. Most of the titles I didn't recognize, but enough of them were fantasy or adventure to assure me that they had never come from Heero Straightedge Yuy's collection of training manuals and historical novels. A flash of color caught my eye, and -- I checked -- a neat stack of well-worn manga was hiding on the bookshelf. "These are all Duo's things," I murmured, straightening up and scanning the posters on the walls. Now that I knew what to look for, I recognized some of them as Duo's taste in music, or art (if you could call it music and art; I certainly didn't.) "What is this place -- some sort of shrine to Duo's memory?"

"Heero," Wufei said from the other side of the room, "is not a religious man, but his heritage is Shinto. If he were to build a memory shrine, he would do it properly, of that I have no -- ah?" This last was said to himself, as he opened a cabinet and pulled down a cardboard box from it. His black eyes narrowed as he inspected the contents, and he said, "Quatre, I think you'd better come have a look at this..."

"What is it?" I crossed the room to his side as quickly as I could without tripping, and a single glance into the box was enough to destroy the illusion of normalcy that the room's other furnishings had created. The box was a jumbled mass of metal; manacles, locks, and chains, all completely functional. On top of the mess was a pair of handcuffs; I felt my face flush slightly as I lifted them from the box and realized that they were padded. "I hadn't known that Heero and Duo were into that sort of thing..."

"They weren't!" Wufei snapped, turning the handcuffs over. "Look at this -- code-locks. Expensive, advanced, and practically unhackable -- and all of these restraints are made of gundanium alloy! These things are completely functional, virtually indestructible, and definitely not meant to be toys." He placed the cuffs back into the box, and searched along the wall for something; his hand stopped on a heavy metal bar that melded into the wall. He shook his head, and dropped his hand away from it.

Trowa joined us in inspecting our find. "I had wondered why the way in here was unsecured," he said, echoing my earlier sentiment. "I was wrong. This room does lock -- from the inside. Another code-lock."

I shook my head in bafflement. "Why? It doesn't make sense. If you really want to keep someone prisoner, then there's a fully functional brig with much better security. And this place is... nicer than anywhere else on the station, that's for certain. It's..." I struggled for words a moment, then shrugged helplessly. "It's warm."

Trowa nodded. "I wonder why the environmentals..." but I interrupted him.

"That wasn't what I meant. I meant it feels... warm." I lifted one hand to my chest. "In here."

"Your Spaceheart?" Trowa's eyes lit with understanding.

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Wufei's own eyes were narrowed in thought. "It was your Spaceheart that led you to this room, wasn't it?" he asked, and I nodded. "Is it telling you anything else right now?"

That question threw me for a moment. "I... I don't know," I stammered. "Wait a moment. Let me..." I trailed off, and closed my eyes, concentrating. The other two waited, in tense silence; I could almost feel them exchanging worried glances as I carefully extended my senses, reveling in the unaccustomed warmth and comfort that filled the room. Trowa was near me, and Wufei, as well, and the faint, underlying presence of a third... a third...

Something was very wrong with that third presence. I opened my eyes, but didn't really see with them, only using my vision to avoid obstacles as I followed my inner sight to the source of the uneasiness. There was something, something about that room... despite all the warmth, there was an object there that radiated an unearthly chill, one which I had seen only one place before.

Inside Heero. Deeper than his loss, lurking behind his pain, something which I had barely gotten a glimpse of before I was forced to cut off the contact. Here... the center of his... madness...

My vision cleared, and I found myself crouched on the floor, a small wooden box in front of me. I didn't remember searching for it, or finding it, or removing it from its hiding place. I shook my head to clear it, looking up to meet the worried gazes of my friend and my lover.

"Here." My voice sounded very far away, and I had to clear my throat before it came out more normal. "This is..."

"That's the box I saw in the camera," Wufei said quietly, and it surprised no-one.

I reached out to open the lid, but hesitated. "Trowa," I said uneasily, not really sure what I was asking for; reassurance, or help. He only nodded, and pulled the innocent-looking box towards him, and flipped open the lid.

I couldn't immediately see its contents, but I felt a stab of pain through my chest; my spaceheart sang with pain, and I gasped, "What? What is it..."

He looked up at me, eyes dull and unreadable, and turned the box for us to view.

"Oh, Allah, no..." I heard myself whisper. Of their own volition, my shaking hands reached out into the box, and closed around the soft, silken mass of chestnut hair. Golden light glinted off one end, and the detached part of my mind identified a small, plain cross on a chain that wound one end of the braid shut.

Wufei had told me that he could find no words to describe Heero's soul when he had looked into that box, but as I let Duo's braid slip through my shaking fingers, I could see it perfectly in my mind. "Heero..."

Re: Torn 2

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Wufei's own eyes were narrowed in thought. "It was your Spaceheart that led you to this room, wasn't it?" he asked, and I nodded. "Is it telling you anything else right now?"

That question threw me for a moment. "I... I don't know," I stammered. "Wait a moment. Let me..." I trailed off, and closed my eyes, concentrating. The other two waited, in tense silence; I could almost feel them exchanging worried glances as I carefully extended my senses, reveling in the unaccustomed warmth and comfort that filled the room. Trowa was near me, and Wufei, as well, and the faint, underlying presence of a third... a third...

Something was very wrong with that third presence. I opened my eyes, but didn't really see with them, only using my vision to avoid obstacles as I followed my inner sight to the source of the uneasiness. There was something, something about that room... despite all the warmth, there was an object there that radiated an unearthly chill, one which I had seen only one place before.

Inside Heero. Deeper than his loss, lurking behind his pain, something which I had barely gotten a glimpse of before I was forced to cut off the contact. Here... the center of his... madness...

My vision cleared, and I found myself crouched on the floor, a small wooden box in front of me. I didn't remember searching for it, or finding it, or removing it from its hiding place. I shook my head to clear it, looking up to meet the worried gazes of my friend and my lover.

"Here." My voice sounded very far away, and I had to clear my throat before it came out more normal. "This is..."

"That's the box I saw in the camera," Wufei said quietly, and it surprised no-one.

I reached out to open the lid, but hesitated. "Trowa," I said uneasily, not really sure what I was asking for; reassurance, or help. He only nodded, and pulled the innocent-looking box towards him, and flipped open the lid.

I couldn't immediately see its contents, but I felt a stab of pain through my chest; my spaceheart sang with pain, and I gasped, "What? What is it..."

He looked up at me, eyes dull and unreadable, and turned the box for us to view.

"Oh, Allah, no..." I heard myself whisper. Of their own volition, my shaking hands reached out into the box, and closed around the soft, silken mass of chestnut hair. Golden light glinted off one end, and the detached part of my mind identified a small, plain cross on a chain that wound one end of the braid shut.

Wufei had told me that he could find no words to describe Heero's soul when he had looked into that box, but as I let Duo's braid slip through my shaking fingers, I could see it perfectly in my mind. "Heero..."