Goodbye LJ...

[windandwater]

This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;

Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!

♥

Comments

Me and a Gun

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

Me and a Gun
Pairings: 1x2, 3x2, 5x2
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Bandai, Sunrise, etc.
Feedback: Yes, as long as you're not emailing to tell me you hate me.
WARNINGS: NCS, and the requisite angst that accompanies it
Author's Notes: Boy, Duo takes a lot of abuse, doesn't he? If you don't know the song that made Tori Amos' career, it's "Me and a Gun."



five am
friday morning
thursday night
far from sleep

The air on the highway was chill, and sticky. The illumination from the headlights cast a narrow beam of light onto the road ahead, but showed nothing except the same black asphalt and black air. There were no cars, no streetlamps, and nothing in the sky to give light; only the headlights and the tiny glowing lights on the dashboard. My hands gripped the wheel tightly to keep from shaking with exhaustion, but my eyes were fixed wide on the splash of headlamps and I wasn't at all sleepy.
My eyes flicked to the side, glanced at the sickly green glow of the car's clock. Two fifty-three. I'd been driving for over three hours now without a destination in mind.

i'm still up and driving
can't go home, obviously

Oh, I might not have anywhere to go, but that didn't mean I didn't know where I was going. Away from there. Away from the so-called 'safe' house, which had turned out to be anything but.
I hadn't touched the brake in a while; I tried not to move my body as much as possible, because even the slightest movement was agony. Fortunately you didn't

Re: Me and a Gun

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

need to move much, to drive on the highway, but I could feel every bump sending little flares of pain from between my legs, up my back, my shoulders and neck...
Idly, I wondered if the bleeding had stopped yet.

so i just changed direction
'cause he'll soon know where i live

When I first scrambled into the car, shouts of anger hot on my heels, my hands almost shaking too much to hotwire the ignition, I'd had some vague idea of a destination. There was an apartment I'd been sharing with Quatre, before I'd located the other three pilots and gone to visit; foolishly, I'd thought that I could go back there, and hide, and curl into a ball and not move for the next hundred years. It was only after I'd slowed my terrified breakneck pace, after I'd realized no-one was following me, that common sense began to kick in. My bag, I'd left my bag back at the house; my laptop was in it, and all my files. It would be child's play for a hacker of Heero's caliber to break open the files, and he'd have the location of every place I could possibly run to.

And I wanna live
got a full tank, and some chips

So don't hide this time. Just run, and don't leave a trail behind, and maybe they won't find you. Maybe they're not even looking for you. Maybe they don't care that much; maybe you were just a one-time toy to them, that they could play with and break and lose interest in. Maybe they won't even bother killing you.
I wish.
So just keep running. This car has gas; by the time day breaks I'll be far away. I've got enough money, I can keep running for a long time. A day or two, and I could be out of the country, off the continent, hell, off-planet if that's what it takes. Keep your eyes on the road, just drive; you don't need to think about driving. You don't need to think about what happened a few hours ago. You don't need to think about anything.
So don't think.
But I can't stop thinking. I keep seeing it again.

it was me

Re: Me and a Gun

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

and a gun
and a man on my back

They'd been acting strange all evening, ever since I arrived. Of course, at the time it didn't seem all that funny; the other pilots were moody sorts of people. And, I hadn't known what to look for. I brushed off the dark hungry glares as their usual stock in trade, the screaming tension as only natural in a room with three very intense people, the cruel sneering taunts as just due for the teasing I gave them.
Silly Duo.
I don't know what I did that set him off. I only know that one minute I was making a joke to Heero, half my mind elsewhere as I rambled on, and the next minute he slammed me to the ground and smashed my head against the floor so that I saw stars. I don't know what made him hit me, again and again, or why he grabbed my wrists in that grip of his that I've seen bend steel and yanked them up over my head. I don't know why he turned me over and pinned his knee to my back as he tore at my T-shirt and cutoff jeans. I only know that as I struggled to breathe against his crushing weight, I felt a flaring agony between my legs that got worse and worse until I felt like I was being torn in half, like I was being impaled with a red-hot poker. I don't know why Heero Yuy raped me; I only know that I cried.

and i sang "holy holy"
as he buttoned down his pants

It was so strange, so sudden, that I couldn't even wonder what was going on when Trowa and then Wufei entered the room, and Heero thrust into me one last time before getting up and leaving me broken and bloody on the floor. My mind was numb; I only wished my body was, too. As my hands were released and flew to my chest, fumbling to find the necklace, the cross necklace, anything to give me strength, I heard my own voice hissing broken prayers. My voice, but not me, though; I don't believe in God. And I guess he doesn't believe in me, because no sooner had my trembling hands wrapped around the crucifix than I heard someone laugh, and rough hands seized mine and yanked them away again. I think the chain broke, because I haven't seen the cross since then, and I dropped it when my hands were tied.

you can laugh
it's kind of funny
the things you think
at times like these

I really wanted to laugh, at that. The other pilots were obviously not thinking straight if they expected a piece of rope to hold Duo Maxwell for very long.