Goodbye LJ...
Feb. 20th, 2006 06:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwaterThis is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 am (UTC)Speaking of which, there wasn't much to use in the way of bandages. Heero glanced around at the sparse options, and finally settle on Duo's white undershirt as the most likely candidate. Fortunately, by now it was mostly dry, and Heero tore off a strip from the bottom and folded it, giving it to Duo to bite down on.
Duo stared obstinately at the fire as Heero worked on the gunshot wound, as if pretending that he didn't own the leg the bullet was lodged it. It was a cold, bloody mockery of a dream he'd once had, of both of them in front of a fireplace, Heero's hands on his naked skin. It really wasn't turning out to be a good day in the life of one Duo Maxwell.
"What's it like?"
"Huh?" Duo yanked his eyes back up to Heero's face, certain that his ears had been fooling him.
"Being something else, I mean... what's it like?" His expression was calm and thoughtful, as he tugged a few last times on the makeshift bandage. If he had met Duo's eyes, the other boy wasn't certain he would have been able to speak, but as it was the silence demanded an answer.
"Well... it's... kind of hard to explain. I dunno... In some ways, it's really weird. All the colors are off, and the smells are all different. Everything seems... sort of... lighter, I guess, and flimsier, and the world moves more slowly."
"But do you actually become a cat?" Heero persisted, leaning back slightly and studying Duo with a clinical interest. "Or is it just the shape that changes?"
"How in hell would I know? I don't know how cats think!" Duo snapped, but then stopped and gave the matter some more thought. "I suppose... I don't really know. I don't forget anything -- I mean I still know that I'm not really a cat, and who other people are, and what my Gundam is for... but it's really hard to remember numbers or codes, and I don't understand what all my suit controls do. Not that I could pilot it anyway -- no opposable thumbs, ya know." He looked up, finally comfortable to try cracking a joke, and smiled weakly at Heero. Heero just looked back at him, gravely contemplating.
Duo had to look back at the fire, to continue. "And... and... feelings... it's like they're simpler, but much stronger. Harder to ignore. Sometimes I... find myself doing
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 am (UTC)"Living life according to your emotions," Heero said softly. Duo looked at him blankly, but he didn't explain. "Strange, that an animal would know that best."
Duo looked away, dropping his eyes in shame.
"You are not a freak."
"What?" Duo froze, disbelieving.
"You said that... You're not a freak." Heero looked acutely uncomfortable at the words coming out of his own mouth. Duo stared at him for a moment, then his own temper flared. He didn't need any pity!
"Heero," he snapped, exaggerated patience in his voice. "I'm the fucking definition of a freak. I'm something which shouldn't exist -- mutant, abomination, whatever the hell you want to call it." The anger couldn't warm him for very long, though, and to his complete humiliation, he felt tears pushing against the back of his eyes. "Ask anyone, Heero... they can tell you that werewolves are... monsters..."
His voice faltered, then, and he stuffed one fist in his mouth and bit it to keep the tears from escaping. 'Why me, God?' he asked for what seemed the hundredth time. 'Did you just look at my life and decide,3 "Gee, this guy isn't suffering enough. I guess I'll throw in a little lycanthropy to make it more interesting?" Why me?'
Heero's voice broke across his morbid thoughts. "In the myths and legends that I know," he said, staring off into space, "shapechangers are usually supernatural beings -- kitsune -- who defeat their enemies through stealth and cunning, and not through brute force."
He focused back on Duo, taking in the unhappiness in his expression and posture. "Mischievous spirits that are clever and daring -- but not monsters."
Duo took his hand away from his mouth, and managed to force a weak smile. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" he said in a small voice.
Heero tilted his head, considering. "It might be necessary for the other pilots to know, if you were assigned to a mission where your unique ability was needed." He paused, as several things added up for him. "Like this one. Duo, did you know you would find this cabin?"
Duo's face grew wary. "No..." he admitted hesitantly.
"Then it was just dumb luck?" Heero's eyes narrowed. "That was stupid, Duo.
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 am (UTC)"Living life according to your emotions," Heero said softly. Duo looked at him blankly, but he didn't explain. "Strange, that an animal would know that best."
Duo looked away, dropping his eyes in shame.
"You are not a freak."
"What?" Duo froze, disbelieving.
"You said that... You're not a freak." Heero looked acutely uncomfortable at the words coming out of his own mouth. Duo stared at him for a moment, then his own temper flared. He didn't need any pity!
"Heero," he snapped, exaggerated patience in his voice. "I'm the fucking definition of a freak. I'm something which shouldn't exist -- mutant, abomination, whatever the hell you want to call it." The anger couldn't warm him for very long, though, and to his complete humiliation, he felt tears pushing against the back of his eyes. "Ask anyone, Heero... they can tell you that werewolves are... monsters..."
His voice faltered, then, and he stuffed one fist in his mouth and bit it to keep the tears from escaping. 'Why me, God?' he asked for what seemed the hundredth time. 'Did you just look at my life and decide,3 "Gee, this guy isn't suffering enough. I guess I'll throw in a little lycanthropy to make it more interesting?" Why me?'
Heero's voice broke across his morbid thoughts. "In the myths and legends that I know," he said, staring off into space, "shapechangers are usually supernatural beings -- kitsune -- who defeat their enemies through stealth and cunning, and not through brute force."
He focused back on Duo, taking in the unhappiness in his expression and posture. "Mischievous spirits that are clever and daring -- but not monsters."
Duo took his hand away from his mouth, and managed to force a weak smile. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" he said in a small voice.
Heero tilted his head, considering. "It might be necessary for the other pilots to know, if you were assigned to a mission where your unique ability was needed." He paused, as several things added up for him. "Like this one. Duo, did you know you would find this cabin?"
Duo's face grew wary. "No..." he admitted hesitantly.
"Then it was just dumb luck?" Heero's eyes narrowed. "That was stupid, Duo.
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 am (UTC)"But you couldn't have!" Duo shot back angrily. "And what would have been the point of me surviving, if you had d-died..." His voice suddenly trailed off, and his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said. Weakly, he attempted to backpedal. "I mean... you're the Perfect Soldier, ne? A-and... uh... the war needs you much more than it needs me..."
"Duo," Heero grated out from between clenched teeth, "shut up."
"S-sorry," Duo muttered, face burning.
He froze, in shock, as Heero gently reached out and gathered a loose handful of the unbound hair. His face was troubled, fascinated, all his attention focused on the color spilling over his hands. "My life is worthless," Heero said softly. "But not yours. I've always been expendable -- I'm only a soldier, and never perfect. But you're so much more than that..."
The room suddenly went from too cold to inexplicably hot, and Duo's world collapsed to the thought that he never, ever wanted Heero to stop touching his hair. Surely he had only imagined what Heero said. Slowly, it filtered through his muddled brain. "H-heero...?"
Heero found it difficult to focus on anything, except for the never-before seen sight of Duo's hair out of its confining braid. He turned his hand over, watching the strands slip smoothly over his skin. It was more than his admittedly impaired imagination had ever given him. He dropped his fingers down the incredible length, coming to the patch at the end where blood had soaked the strands, and frozen together. The damage brought him abruptly back to himself, and the needs and dangers of the situation. "You're shivering," he said softly.
Duo realized it was true; he was shivering and had been for some time. "Well, it's cold..."
"You're exhausted," Heero said accusingly. "And you've lost a lot of blood."
"Well, whose fault is that?" Duo countered, trying to lift the mood. He hadn't expected the sudden hint of pain to cross Heero's face when he said that. "Look, Heero, I'll be fine..."
"Why don't you change?" Heero asked, watching Duo closely. "It's still a long time until dawn."
Duo immediately shook his head. "I've never switched back and forth so many
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 am (UTC)"But you couldn't have!" Duo shot back angrily. "And what would have been the point of me surviving, if you had d-died..." His voice suddenly trailed off, and his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said. Weakly, he attempted to backpedal. "I mean... you're the Perfect Soldier, ne? A-and... uh... the war needs you much more than it needs me..."
"Duo," Heero grated out from between clenched teeth, "shut up."
"S-sorry," Duo muttered, face burning.
He froze, in shock, as Heero gently reached out and gathered a loose handful of the unbound hair. His face was troubled, fascinated, all his attention focused on the color spilling over his hands. "My life is worthless," Heero said softly. "But not yours. I've always been expendable -- I'm only a soldier, and never perfect. But you're so much more than that..."
The room suddenly went from too cold to inexplicably hot, and Duo's world collapsed to the thought that he never, ever wanted Heero to stop touching his hair. Surely he had only imagined what Heero said. Slowly, it filtered through his muddled brain. "H-heero...?"
Heero found it difficult to focus on anything, except for the never-before seen sight of Duo's hair out of its confining braid. He turned his hand over, watching the strands slip smoothly over his skin. It was more than his admittedly impaired imagination had ever given him. He dropped his fingers down the incredible length, coming to the patch at the end where blood had soaked the strands, and frozen together. The damage brought him abruptly back to himself, and the needs and dangers of the situation. "You're shivering," he said softly.
Duo realized it was true; he was shivering and had been for some time. "Well, it's cold..."
"You're exhausted," Heero said accusingly. "And you've lost a lot of blood."
"Well, whose fault is that?" Duo countered, trying to lift the mood. He hadn't expected the sudden hint of pain to cross Heero's face when he said that. "Look, Heero, I'll be fine..."
"Why don't you change?" Heero asked, watching Duo closely. "It's still a long time until dawn."
Duo immediately shook his head. "I've never switched back and forth so many
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:57 am (UTC)"You need rest," Heero pointed out. "No enemies will be able to come through this snow until it lets up."
Duo's felt he should protest again, but he hesitated long enough for the logic of the statement to catch up to him. "Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked hesitantly.
"I wouldn't have suggested it if I did mind." Heero would die before admitting it, but the feeling of soft warm fur had been the most wonderful thing he had felt in a long time. He watched closely as Duo struggled against his inhibitions, and finally gave in with a sigh. Duo uncurled from the tight ball he'd drawn himself into, and went down on all fours. Before his hands hit the floor, though, they were thickly padded paws. The change spread up his arms and legs until it was a dark-furred panther crouching beside the fire, all sleek and deadly grace.
Duo wasn't actually black, as had been Heero's first impression. Instead, his coat was more of a dark brown, mottled with lighter brown and streaked with red. It reminded Heero of Duo's own hair. Most telling, though, were the wide indigo eyes -- no animal had eyes that color.
He hadn't been kidding about how much energy it took, Heero realized; almost immediately, the cat slumped towards the floor, his eyes slipping closed. Without thinking about it, he shifted around until the panther's -- until Duo's head rested against his leg, off the icy floor. Duo sighed, a wordless rumble, and slowly his body relaxed. Almost unconsciously, Heero's hand reached up to stroke the velvety softness of the panther's ear.
Heero stayed awake the rest of the night, slowly moving his hands across the soft warmth of Duo's fur.
--owari--
The blame for this story goes entirely to my betareader, and I'll tell you why. Just the other day this exchange took place.
Mikkeneko: I think I want to write a blanket fic.
Lockheed: [after a moment's pause] ...a... blanke--
Mikkeneko: With WEREWOLVES!
So you can see it's all her fault. She encouraged me.
Re: Warm Fuzzies
Date: 2006-02-21 04:57 am (UTC)"You need rest," Heero pointed out. "No enemies will be able to come through this snow until it lets up."
Duo's felt he should protest again, but he hesitated long enough for the logic of the statement to catch up to him. "Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked hesitantly.
"I wouldn't have suggested it if I did mind." Heero would die before admitting it, but the feeling of soft warm fur had been the most wonderful thing he had felt in a long time. He watched closely as Duo struggled against his inhibitions, and finally gave in with a sigh. Duo uncurled from the tight ball he'd drawn himself into, and went down on all fours. Before his hands hit the floor, though, they were thickly padded paws. The change spread up his arms and legs until it was a dark-furred panther crouching beside the fire, all sleek and deadly grace.
Duo wasn't actually black, as had been Heero's first impression. Instead, his coat was more of a dark brown, mottled with lighter brown and streaked with red. It reminded Heero of Duo's own hair. Most telling, though, were the wide indigo eyes -- no animal had eyes that color.
He hadn't been kidding about how much energy it took, Heero realized; almost immediately, the cat slumped towards the floor, his eyes slipping closed. Without thinking about it, he shifted around until the panther's -- until Duo's head rested against his leg, off the icy floor. Duo sighed, a wordless rumble, and slowly his body relaxed. Almost unconsciously, Heero's hand reached up to stroke the velvety softness of the panther's ear.
Heero stayed awake the rest of the night, slowly moving his hands across the soft warmth of Duo's fur.
--owari--
The blame for this story goes entirely to my betareader, and I'll tell you why. Just the other day this exchange took place.
Mikkeneko: I think I want to write a blanket fic.
Lockheed: [after a moment's pause] ...a... blanke--
Mikkeneko: With WEREWOLVES!
So you can see it's all her fault. She encouraged me.