Goodbye LJ...
Feb. 20th, 2006 06:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;
Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!
♥
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:58 am (UTC)Wufei’s head swung up from where it was resting by a stack of shot glasses. “Sally?” he croaked. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you, Wufei,” she said, patting his arm.
“But you left me for a kinky lesbian threesome with Noin and Une!”
The pile of blond hair on the other side of the table growled “Will you shut UP!”
“Well, that’s true,” Sally acknowledged, carefully adjusting her leather skirt and corset so she could sit on the barstool. “That’s why I’m here to talk to you.”
Wufei’s eyes narrowed, then crossed. He gave up and said “Why?”
Just then, Zechs slid off his stool in a boneless heap. Sally reached under the table and hauled him back up. “You’re not wearing panties,” he told her. “Isn’t that unhygienic? I thought you were a doctor!”
Wufei’s left nostril sprouted a trickle of blood, which Sally plugged up with a lace handkerchief she pulled out of her cleavage. “You’re just jealous because your ex-girlfriend would rather dress up in bondage gear and do Une with a strap-on than be with you,” she informed Zechs haughtily.
Wufei’s other nostril began bleeding, and Sally pulled out another handkerchief from somewhere within her corset.
“Aren’t those six-inch stiletto heels bad for your spine?” Zechs accused.
Sally huffed. “You’re just jealous because Noin would rather lick chocolate sauce off my naked, quivering body than yours.”
“She’s got you pegged, you know” the bartender told Zechs as Wufei passed out from blood loss.
“Thank God Trieze didn’t live to see this,” Zechs said mournfully, fumbling for another shot.
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:58 am (UTC)“You poor thing,” she said unenthusiastically, rubbing a hand across his stomach. An ash dropped on his bare skin and Trowa yelped. “Oops.”
Trowa let his head fall back on the pillow. “I just don’t know how to get a woman to stay...” he moaned.
The alarm went off beside his ear, and the woman leaned across him to slap the snooze button. “Time’s up, hon.” Trowa didn’t move, and she poked him. “Hey, kid, I’m not leaving until I get paid.”
Trowa brightened. “Really?”
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:58 am (UTC)“You want me to be the godfather?!” Duo asked, incredulity tingeing his voice. “Dear Lord, why?”
“Well,” Hilde said, rubbing Catherine’s stomach soothingly, “We were going to ask Trowa.”
“Really.”
“Yes, since he’s the baby’s--uncle, of course.” Catherine blushed. Duo clamped a hand across his mouth as his stomach heaved. “But he’s been so erratic lately...”
“Please, Duo?” Hilde pleaded. She squeezed his hand. “Won’t you do this...for me?”
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbled. “Whatever you want, Hilde.”
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:58 am (UTC)BOOM!
That’s odd, thought Quatre. I could have sworn we used enough to level the place twice over. Why didn’t it blow up? Then he turned around to see the source of the sound; what had in fact blown up was Heero’s car. Oh. That would explain it.
He raced over to the burning car, noting that Heero had been thrown well out of range of the burning debris. “Heero! Are you all right?”
Heero struggled to sit up. “Ninmu...shippai...” he gasped.
Quatre looked back at the wreckage of the car. “Aw, fuck it. I give up.”
“My thoughts exactly,” croaked Heero before passing out.
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:59 am (UTC)“How was your day, snookums? Do anything interesting?” Relena asked her, drawing her lover down beside her on the seat.
“Nothing terribly important,” said Dorothy, who had spent all afternoon removing and repositioning the explosives. “Now, make mad, passionate love to me.”
Relena nuzzled her neck. “I don’t know why explosions turn you on so much, but I can’t say I mind.”
“Says the woman who’s aroused by the color pink.”
“It’s so suggestive,” Relena purred.
“Pervert.”
“You know you love it.”
“Mmm....”
Pargan craned his neck, then adjusted the rearview mirror.
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:59 am (UTC)She stroked his hair. “Poor dear, Wufei...it wasn’t you I left, it was your confining, restrictive lifestyle.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just couldn’t stand to sit back and watch you repress your cross-dressing tendencies anymore, Wufei,” she told him. “We have to be true to ourselves. I have a leather fetish, Noin wants to be a man, and Une likes getting spanked.” She kissed him. “You secretly long to wear my clothes, I know. Don’t hide it anymore.” She pulled out her white, lacy panties and bra from her purse and waved them enticingly at him.
Wufei’s eyes tracked them like a starving man would follow a cheese sandwich on wings.
“What are you saying, Sally?” he said finally, clenching his fingers tightly.
She laid her hand on his, her long red nails flashing with tiny gems. “Come join us, Wufei. Instead of a kinky lesbian threesome, we can be a kinky transvestite foursome!”
“...Will I have to get a sex change?” he asked doubtfully.
Sally winked. “We’ll see. Just put the panties on and we’ll try it this way first, okay?”
“Okay!” He said happily, shimmying out of his clothes quickly. Nine-tenths of the bar averted its gaze. One-tenth leered.
Sally beamed. “Oh, don’t you just look good enough to eat, Wufei!” She slid her arm through his.
“I hope so,” Wufei grinned laviciously. “And call me...Wufette!” he said as Sally tugged him out of the room.
Zechs stared after the departing couple and shook his head with a sigh. He turned and signaled the bartender. “More scotch!”
“Pay your tab,” the bartender told him, wiping dry a stack of shotglasses.”
Zechs shrugged, pulled out Wufei’s wallet, and began counting out money.
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:59 am (UTC)“Catherine’s got a craving for pickles and crackers,” Hilde said. “Please? For me?”
“No. Absolutely not. No. No...” Duo tried to avert his gaze from Hilde’s puppy-dog eyes. “Fine,” he muttered. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” He picked up his car keys. “Anything else?”
“Green tea ice cream!” Catherine hollered after him.
Duo groaned. Whipped, he thought. I am so pathetic.
Re: taking a page from mikke's book!
Date: 2006-02-21 03:59 am (UTC)“Why, simple, my little treacle-tart of womanly joy,” Dorothy answered. “Exhibitionism turns me on!”
“Oh!” said Relena. “Hmm. We could have sex on the terrace...” she offered.
Dorothy’s eyes lit up. “I’ll get the whipped cream.”
And the two hentai lesbians lived happily ever after. So did the kinky transvestite foursome. But everyone else was miserable, especially Trowa.
finis, thank the good lord.
Notes: This was inspired by Sophonisba, who probably now wishes she hadn’t said anything, conceptually developed in the bath (not the shower--I never think of anything in the shower), and typed on the iBook as I sat stark nude in front of a window because I was in too much of a hurry to get dressed. O.o Blame--I mean, credit--for Heero and Quatre’s Comic Schemes should go to Mikkeneko. Plan C) is a line swiped from Trigun, and that is also Mikke’s fault, as is “Have you been snorting Zero System again?” and “Ninmu shippai,” which means “mission failed” and as far as I know originated with Mel & Christy.