Goodbye LJ...

[windandwater]

This is just to make it official for those who don't know, but I'm leaving LJ completely. For the rest of this week at least. Tomorrow is the Bar Exam and it runs for three days, so don't expect to see me about at all until Thursday night. Or even until the weekend since I plan on spending Thursday after the Bar drunk and crying. No online time for me at all. *whines* It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

So, because I'm a total h0r like that, I am declaring this to be a spam post. Go ahead. Run wild! Give me fics, give me links, give me pics, just babble to your heart's content and rape my inbox so I have something to see when I finally DO come back to the wonderful world of LJ. I don't even care if you write me a drabble and post it one word at a time. XD;

Though, I've tried to make a spam post before and it failed a bit miserably, so I don't have very high expectations this time around. Feel free to prove me wrong though!

♥

Comments

Re: All of my GW fic. EVER.

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

he bent over him on the table, blocking out his sight, he felt his own trembling increase.
Something warm touched his face, and it shocked him with the immediacy -- he hadn't felt anything so clearly in weeks -- in -- in a long time. He gave a little cry, parting his lips, and felt Duo move, felt Duo's tongue press against his lips and a sharp pain when it pressed into the new wound.
Then Duo's hands were on his body, and he went absolutely still, too long habit gained from the cold and flinching hands of the doctors. But Duo's touch was nothing like theirs -- Duo's touch was -- searing hot and fierce and not in the least bit afraid of him. Skin on skin for the first time in so long, began to make his flesh tremble, the heat seeming to burn him right down to the bone.
He shuddered, and turned his head away, but Duo only took that as an opportunity to bend his neck and put savaging teeth to his throat. Duo's braid slithered over his shoulder to land with a soft thump on his chest, and he took to staring at that, mesmerized, trying to reconcile memory with sense.
Duo pushed off of the table a bit, for a moment filling his vision. Then Duo vanished, and he was seized by a panic whose source he could not fathom. Craning desperately, he caught sight of Duo moving about the room, flipping switches, pulling at wires. He stared uncomprehendingly at the metal box which stared back at him, wires loose and dangling and glinting faintly silver in the blue light. The needle pulled out of his arm and he gasped with pain, feeling a terrible sliding sensation as several inches of tubing pulled out from under his skin. A flash of eyes and the brief wink of a grin showed in his vision; "I want you to be awake for this," Duo said.
Then hands were on the flimsy hospital gown, tearing it away from his body. The elastic caught around his hips, and when it snapped, stung his skin. The pain was shocking, somehow, and he found his eyes tearing up as Duo knelt above him on the table.
"Stop this," he said to Duo, and his voice sounded listless even to his own ears.
Duo grinned up at him, an expression like death's head. Duo's hands were moving over his body in a way that wasn't about generating pleasure, at least not for him. "What if I don't?" he said.
Belatedly, it occurred to him that maybe he should call for help; but he knew, even if he could have gotten enough of a voice for it, that nobody would come to his aid. Everyone was already gone and left him; only Duo was here.

Re: All of my GW fic. EVER.

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

And now Duo was pushing his legs apart, hands hot and hard on the skin of his legs. His ankles came up against the limits of the restraints, and he wondered for a moment if Duo would remove the encumbering things. But no; that didn't seem to interest him at all. Duo just pushed his thighs apart as far as they would go, and took his hips in a hard grip, pulling them up to expose him fully.
He shut his eyes, and felt something running down to his temples. It cooled quickly, until there was another, hotter touch along the cooling trail. He looked again and saw Duo staring, hand outstretched to take that drop of moisture onto his fingers. After a moment Duo looked back at him, and his eyes reflected the light, dimly. But then they hardened, darkness once again.
Duo thrust a hard finger inside of him, and a small sound leaked from his lips. It didn't hurt as much as he was expecting, or perhaps he was only numb; but as Duo kept on going he slowly came to realize that it was the drugs that made him like this; the same drugs that made his muscles so weak and loose made every part of him helpless, passive, open to any invasion.
He didn't think that there was any new level of wretched he could be brought to, but Duo, as always, proved him wrong. With difficulty, he swallowed, and tried to speak again. "Duo," he said, trying to reach out, now, at last; "I'm sorry... for... I didn't know --"
"Shhhh." The words were oddly soothing, and he tried to figure out if that was real or mockery. Duo sat back on his haunches, and undid his pants; he pulled out his already hard erection and stroked it, eyes moving distantly over Heero's body. "You will now."
There was nothing he could say to that, nothing he could do, no more resistance left in him. He could only hang there, shaking in his bonds, while his body disobeyed him and laid him open to Duo.
He heard a tearing sound, a sharp crinkling, and tried to figure out what Duo was doing. Something thin and papery flashed in the dimness, and he saw Duo's death-head grin as he took the small condom from its packet. "Better be careful," he said, as he carefully unrolled the thing over his darkened, stiff erection, and now the mockery was only too evident. "Who knows what you could pick up, in a place like this."
Duo didn't given him any chance to answer; he didn't give him any chance to be ready. As soon as the condom went on, Duo settled against his hole and began to push in, his impatience clearly felt. The feel of the lubricated latex felt strange inside him, cool and impersonal, but at least there was no sharp and painful

Re: All of my GW fic. EVER.

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

burning. That was cold comfort, though, and even the absence of physical torment did nothing to lessen the misery of being helpless, of being used, of having this done to him with no thoughts in the mind of the other except hatred and lust. And with that came understanding, the kind that hurt more than anything else.
"Duo," the cry was ripped from his throat, and sounded little more than a rasp. Duo didn't answer him, didn't even slow down. Duo didn't wait for him to be ready, or for any kind of permission; he just started to fuck him, hard and fast, pounding him into the table and yanking him against the restraints that began to cut into his flesh.
Maybe it was the new understanding, that was a kind of emptiness; or maybe it was just the long, long time without touch, without kindness, without Duo, that brought his hungry flesh to crave Duo's, to respond to that primal rhythm without any conscious desire on his part. He shook with each thrust, battered by a windstorm of feelings that he had once worked so very, very hard to suppress, and now assaulted him with no defenses left. Small noises left his throat, tiny grunts and whimpers that were a counterpart to Duo's unabashed moans of enjoyment above him.
It seemed to go on a very, very long time, before Duo finally slammed home into him, with a shout that he dizzily thought should have brought all the building's security down onto them. Nothing happened, though, when Duo finished out his orgasm and then sank down to the table, a body sprawled across his own.
Nobody spoke. He lay still, heart beating too fast, muscles as tense as he could make them. His erection lay throbbing painfully trapped between them, but Duo ignored it as he straightened, pushed away from his body and pulled out. He winced as Duo left him; he was still forced wide open, and felt achingly cold and empty without Duo there.
Duo simply cleaned himself up, sitting up and climbing off the table again, pulling off the condom and negligently tossing it aside. He numbly wondered what the morning nurse would think of it, or of the hospital gown lying torn and tattered on the floor, the needles and monitor pads scattered. Even had he been free, he didn't think he could have moved.
Duo leaned over him again, and when he forced himself to look up into Duo's face, he thought that maybe his eyes had changed. Large and dark, still, but looking at him and not through him for now. "Come on, stranger," Duo said, hardly loud enough to be heard. "There's nowhere to go from here but up."
There was a click, and then a clang, and his hands feel like dead weights to

Re: All of my GW fic. EVER.

[mikkeneko.livejournal.com]

his sides. He barely knew what to do with them any more, and when he tried to move, he would have fallen off the table if Duo hadn't grabbed him.
He tried to speak. He looked up at Duo and the words wouldn't come. Instead he swallowed and slumped against Duo, and something about that contact let him speak again.
"Why?" he whispered.
Duo laughed. It wasn't so much like a crow, now. "I dunno," he said. "But I think I see someone, which I only saw once before." Duo shifted and propped him up against the table, which helped. "And I think maybe I can bring him out this time, if it's just me an' him, and nothing else around to interfere. That's how I get what I wanted."
He closed his eyes. He thought he might cry. "Forgive me," he choked out instead. Duo's arms closed on his shoulders, and shook him a little, hard.
"Hey," he snapped. "Don't think it's gonna be easy. This is only the beginning. I'm gonna make you pay it back in full, and you're gonna take it, and this time, you do what I say, or it's over and you go back here."
He didn't move, and after a minute Duo kept on talking. "I talked already with one of the doctors," he said thoughtfully, "and he's ready to release custody of you to me. They're talking about givin' me permanent authority. Providin' and all, that I can keep you in control and make sure you don't hurt anyone any more. Understand?"
He didn't, not really, but he nodded anyway. It was up to Duo now, he understood that much. It was never up to him. Because he hadn't changed, since the end of the war; the world had changed instead. The world had gone away from him and left him behind.
But Duo stayed.



Remember when you were young
you shone like the sun
Now there's a look in your eyes
like black holes in the sky
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr
and shine