windandwater: (THIS is Sparta)
[personal profile] windandwater
To: Post-Production/Editor
From: Me
Re: This week's Top Chef!

Dear Post-Production/Editor person --

You are fucking badass. Putting in porno music in the background of the bathtub scene this week was a complete pimp move.

Please accept this internets, it is full of lulz.

Boomshaka,

Me


EDIT...

Wholly unconnected to the above, have a review of possibly the worst romance novel ever. A NSFW pic is linked in the review, but this whole thing is HILARIOUS.

It's a het romance, btw. But, apparently, is completely about double penetration anal sex. And not gay at all! REALLY! It's just a threeway with two guys and a girl! The girl makes it NOT GAY. *gigglesnorts*

Includes this gem (yes, an actual part of the book!):

"What the hell are you doing?" Luc barked.

Tensing a little more with every inch he pushed inside Kimber’s tight passage, the tendons on his neck standing out, the muscles in his arms shaking, assailed by the amazing sensations of being slowly enveloped by her tight, ready flesh, Deke could barely form a word. "Fucking her ass. Saving her life."


HOW COULD THIS NOT BE A GOOD BOOK?!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meritjubet.livejournal.com
Oh, god... now I want to read the books just for that! *dies snickering*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] okaasan59.livejournal.com
OMG, that you so much for that link!! I love SmartBitchesTrashyBooks but I always forget to read it. The LOLpron was priceless! I was laughing so much I scared the cat. ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] okaasan59.livejournal.com
That's supposed to be "thank you." See, I laughed so much I broke my brain!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
... there's always porno music when I'm in the bath...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windsorblue.livejournal.com
"Fucking her ass. Saving her life."

...that ought to be a prompt somewhere.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
If you go to Amazon, you can read more reviews. Everyone says the sex is hot (if you like menage). YET THEY DO NOT MENTION THE ASSFUCKING.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
I was laughing alot too. XD! And then I had to share it with... the only person who was still awake and on AIM. And he happened to be a boy. He says the whole thing broke his brain.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
I know. It's like... perfect. And also, the best (worst?) pick-up line ever.

"I need to fuck your ass!"
"Why?"
"TO SAVE YOUR LIFE."

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
That is completely not my fault.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
I agree. It just... happens when I get in.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
... all the time?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
Yeah. Maybe I have a stalker.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
WHO'S STALKING YOU?! I'LL KICK HIS ASS!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
*looks thinky*

Maybe I should close the bathroom window when I take a bath. It just feels so nice though, the cool air and the steam. It makes me wanna burrow deeper into the water. *purrs*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
MAYBE YOU SHOULD. THAT WAY PERVERTS CAN'T TAKE A LOOK AT YOU.

*aaaaaaaaargh he's getting a headache now and will have to keep a watch out and catch the pervert the next time*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
WELL MAYBE YOU NEED TO STOP YELLING AT ME.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
D:

*goes completely quiet then and will... maybe just leave you alone*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
*aw, relax emo-ku, he didn't want you to go away, just to stop yelling*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
*okay he won't leave but he'll just wait here silently as he plots various ways to maim whoever is peeping on you*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
:3 *gives you a kiss on the cheek*

Thank you for trying to save my virtue. I love you!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
*he goes pink across his cheeks and is quite pleased and embarrassed at the same time*

I haven't saved it yet. It doesn't count until I punch someone in the face.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
The keyword there was 'trying'. :3 *kisses you again because you make a pretty color pink~*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
*well if you're gonna keep doing that, he's gonna have to kiss you back~*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] endlessxsky.livejournal.com
*is getting his dancing outfit unpacked*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-17 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windup-boytoy.livejournal.com
*is possibly out of your sight for a moment because he had to make sure about dinner reservations and such, and is now checking out cute stuffed animals in the gift shop*

...WHY!?

Date: 2008-04-18 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladydragon543.livejournal.com
OMG.

OMG.

I am DED, and I think I may have laughed so hard i coughed up a lung. Or four.

and the LOLPorn?

PRICELESS. OMG.

NO NOT GAY NOT GAY AT ALL!

...omg.

Also, my b/f is now horrified. I think he's contemplating scrubbing out his brain w/ bleach. Lol...

Re: ...WHY!?

Date: 2008-04-18 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
All guys want to scrub their brains out with bleach after they read this. XD I wonder why~

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-18 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paikan.livejournal.com
This, like, totally cracked me up. In the office. Not like I can explain /why/ I'm suddenly laughing so hard that I might have damaged something internally... ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-18 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
LOL. Well, if anyone asks, maybe you can have them read the review too? They just can't click on the picture link. XD!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-19 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paikan.livejournal.com
*chortles* /That/ would have been a hoot -- all of my fellow employees are men. Mens' men. (an expression which you'd really think should mean something else altogether...)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-19 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] windandwater.livejournal.com
Well boys have actually read this and found it funny! Though, your mileage may vary. XD;;

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