Hmph... bunnies...
Sep. 12th, 2007 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwaterDon't know where this came from, but it's angsty and I felt like tormenting my muses. You are warned.
When Baby comes running into the living room, everyone ignores her.
The hours after school -- if not filled by clubs or sports practices or drama rehersals -- is usually when all the kids do their homework. Their parents are somewhat strict about it, but the benefit is that if they finish all their work and chores, they're allowed to have the rest of the evening to do as they wish. The two eldest usually occupy the dining table, the Twins on the coffeetable in the living room, and Baby is too young for homework still (except for little cute art projects) so Dad usually takes her to the backyard to play.
Kira is scrambling to finish her trigonometry homework so she can meet her friends at the mall. Rikka is laboring over history so that he can lock himself in his room with his art, or maybe loiter on the boardwalk. No one knows what the Twins want to disappear to do, but they're safely occupied with Literature reading and that's good enough for now. Mom is bustling in the kitchen preparing dinner, or occassionally helping with homework problems when he's called. Papa will be home soon.
So when Baby runs into the house and slams the backdoor, it's no wonder that everyone is a bit annoyed. Rikka ignores Baby's babbling, burying his face in his textbook. Kira mutters something like: "I'll play with you later, Baby," and erases the answer she had just scribbled down. Baby stamps her foot -- Rikka really hopes she won't cry -- then runs to the living room. The Twins say something that makes her wail, and Rikka raises his voice to rebuke them automatically. Baby runs past again, this time to the kitchen, and Rikka can hear Mom's voice.
"Baby! No running in the house. You know your brothers and sister are studying!"
Rikka's youngest sister wails again, Mom shushes her, and Rikka is a bit annoyed that the youngest is almost more spoiled than Kira.
"Now, what's so important that you have to bother everyone?"
"M-mama! Mama, Daddy fell down! And he fell asleep and I can't wake him up!"
Something shatters on the floor, and Rikka's head snaps up in time to see Kira standing up from her chair at the same time as the sound of the backdoor slamming into the wall, and Mom's yell. The Twins bolt in from the living room, and Baby is crying, and Rikka makes it to the door in time to see Dad's figure sprawled over the grass, one arm still tangled in the chain of the swings. He looks like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Kira starts screaming, and one of the Twins runs for the phone to call an ambulance while another goes forward to help Mom with Dad. Rikka is in shock, leaning hard against the doorjamb, all the colors of the world draining away to a sickly gray.
And that's when Papa comes home.
------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't take long for Rikka to decide that he hates hospitals.
They're cold and sterile, full of strange scents and sounds. Rikka thinks they should be at home -- they can take care of Dad at home -- but he knows that if something else happens, they might not be able to fix things. Dad looks... pale and weak, all washed out on the white bedsheets with tubes and wires everywhere. Rikka could only stay in the room for a few minutes before he slipped out and started pacing the hallway instead. Dad has always been healthy and strong, has never even had a cold or the flu, and it's hard for Rikka to believe that the person in the hospital bed is really his Dad.
Papa is harassing one of the nurses, trying to get more information, and even he looks pale and washed out. Mom is holding one of Dad's hands, the Twins at his side. Kira is on the other side of the bed with Baby in her lap and both girls' faces are blotchy with tears. Finally, a doctor comes into the room -- the first doctor they've seen since Dad was admitted -- and all the children are shooed out into the hallway while the Doctor closes the door and speaks quietly to Papa and Mom. The doors are too thick for Rikka to really hear anything, until Mom and Papa's voices raise in anger.
Kira looks at him, and the Twins, and Baby. Rikka stares at his siblings -- he's always taken care of them -- and swallows hard.
"R-Rikka..." Kira says, her voice stripped of her normal pride, and hoarse from her tears.
"The doctor said there's nothing he can do. He can't find out what's wrong with Dad yet. He says there's something wrong with his heart."
Kira starts sobbing again, burying her face in Baby's hair and holding her close as their youngest sister starts to sob as well. But it's the Twins staring at him, eyes dry but red-rimmed, their faces pulled into the exact same expression that Dad gets when he's upset, that makes Rikka break down and cry.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You gave me a full life.
Sixteen years. I've lived a whole life in sixteen years, and I have no regrets. Our children, our family... even if I didn't wake up again, I know you two would keep them safe and teach them everything they need to know.
I never deserved a second chance. Or a third. Fourth. Whatever number it is now. I know I've made mistakes, mistakes that don't deserve to be forgiven, and yet you've forgiven me and kept me close despite it all. There's no way for me to tell you how much you mean to me... how much I love you. I tried my best, and I hope you know.
I have no regrets, except that I won't get to see all of our children grown up. I won't be able to see our grandchildren. I won't be able to grow old with the both of you.
I always thought I'd be left behind.
I'm sorry... that this time, I'm the one going ahead.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The children have been sent home for the night, under the watchful eyes of their Uncles.
There's no reason for them to stay in the hospital all night and Ri is only allowed a certain number of people in his room at one time after normal visiting hours. Sora is certain there will be no way he'll be able to get the Twins to go to school in the morning -- they're masters at skipping classes, just like their Dad -- and he makes a mental note to just call the school so all the children can be absent for awhile.
It's so quiet in the hospital at night. The only sound is the constant beeping of the machines hooked up to Ri, monitoring his vital signs. It's not supposed to happen this way. This isn't fair. He tightens his hand around Ri's chilly, unmoving one, and tries to think that Ri looks like he's sleeping, and not that he's...
"Ri would hate it here," Riku says, his voice cutting through the still room. Sora blinks, turning his head to look at Riku, who has been a constant presence at his side ever since the children went home. It was only after the children left that Sora and Riku collapsed on each other, holding tight and letting out their own pains and fears. Both of them had been vehemenent in their outrage at the doctor, but the realization that it was Ri's heart that had given out on him that fills them both with cold fear.
"Ri would hate it here," Riku repeats himself, his free hand waving at the room, the other one not letting go of Ri's shoulder. "It's... too white here. Too cold. It's like Castle Oblivion."
Sora nods in agreement, because it's true. Ri would be horrified to wake up in such a cold, white place; would probably think he'd woken up to one of the nightmares that he still has from time to time. He clutches Ri's hand tighter.
"We'll be here for him," Sora manages to say, his voice soft. "As long as it takes. We won't let him wake up alone."
Riku makes a soft noise and leans against Sora's side, and Sora is glad for the warmth and comfort they can give and take from each other. He doesn't know how long they sit there, pressed together in the dim room, but when Ri's fingers twitch they both feel it.
"Ri!"
They both crowd close, so that the first thing Ri sees when he opens his green eyes are their happy faces, and not the white walls.
When Baby comes running into the living room, everyone ignores her.
The hours after school -- if not filled by clubs or sports practices or drama rehersals -- is usually when all the kids do their homework. Their parents are somewhat strict about it, but the benefit is that if they finish all their work and chores, they're allowed to have the rest of the evening to do as they wish. The two eldest usually occupy the dining table, the Twins on the coffeetable in the living room, and Baby is too young for homework still (except for little cute art projects) so Dad usually takes her to the backyard to play.
Kira is scrambling to finish her trigonometry homework so she can meet her friends at the mall. Rikka is laboring over history so that he can lock himself in his room with his art, or maybe loiter on the boardwalk. No one knows what the Twins want to disappear to do, but they're safely occupied with Literature reading and that's good enough for now. Mom is bustling in the kitchen preparing dinner, or occassionally helping with homework problems when he's called. Papa will be home soon.
So when Baby runs into the house and slams the backdoor, it's no wonder that everyone is a bit annoyed. Rikka ignores Baby's babbling, burying his face in his textbook. Kira mutters something like: "I'll play with you later, Baby," and erases the answer she had just scribbled down. Baby stamps her foot -- Rikka really hopes she won't cry -- then runs to the living room. The Twins say something that makes her wail, and Rikka raises his voice to rebuke them automatically. Baby runs past again, this time to the kitchen, and Rikka can hear Mom's voice.
"Baby! No running in the house. You know your brothers and sister are studying!"
Rikka's youngest sister wails again, Mom shushes her, and Rikka is a bit annoyed that the youngest is almost more spoiled than Kira.
"Now, what's so important that you have to bother everyone?"
"M-mama! Mama, Daddy fell down! And he fell asleep and I can't wake him up!"
Something shatters on the floor, and Rikka's head snaps up in time to see Kira standing up from her chair at the same time as the sound of the backdoor slamming into the wall, and Mom's yell. The Twins bolt in from the living room, and Baby is crying, and Rikka makes it to the door in time to see Dad's figure sprawled over the grass, one arm still tangled in the chain of the swings. He looks like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Kira starts screaming, and one of the Twins runs for the phone to call an ambulance while another goes forward to help Mom with Dad. Rikka is in shock, leaning hard against the doorjamb, all the colors of the world draining away to a sickly gray.
And that's when Papa comes home.
------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't take long for Rikka to decide that he hates hospitals.
They're cold and sterile, full of strange scents and sounds. Rikka thinks they should be at home -- they can take care of Dad at home -- but he knows that if something else happens, they might not be able to fix things. Dad looks... pale and weak, all washed out on the white bedsheets with tubes and wires everywhere. Rikka could only stay in the room for a few minutes before he slipped out and started pacing the hallway instead. Dad has always been healthy and strong, has never even had a cold or the flu, and it's hard for Rikka to believe that the person in the hospital bed is really his Dad.
Papa is harassing one of the nurses, trying to get more information, and even he looks pale and washed out. Mom is holding one of Dad's hands, the Twins at his side. Kira is on the other side of the bed with Baby in her lap and both girls' faces are blotchy with tears. Finally, a doctor comes into the room -- the first doctor they've seen since Dad was admitted -- and all the children are shooed out into the hallway while the Doctor closes the door and speaks quietly to Papa and Mom. The doors are too thick for Rikka to really hear anything, until Mom and Papa's voices raise in anger.
Kira looks at him, and the Twins, and Baby. Rikka stares at his siblings -- he's always taken care of them -- and swallows hard.
"R-Rikka..." Kira says, her voice stripped of her normal pride, and hoarse from her tears.
"The doctor said there's nothing he can do. He can't find out what's wrong with Dad yet. He says there's something wrong with his heart."
Kira starts sobbing again, burying her face in Baby's hair and holding her close as their youngest sister starts to sob as well. But it's the Twins staring at him, eyes dry but red-rimmed, their faces pulled into the exact same expression that Dad gets when he's upset, that makes Rikka break down and cry.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You gave me a full life.
Sixteen years. I've lived a whole life in sixteen years, and I have no regrets. Our children, our family... even if I didn't wake up again, I know you two would keep them safe and teach them everything they need to know.
I never deserved a second chance. Or a third. Fourth. Whatever number it is now. I know I've made mistakes, mistakes that don't deserve to be forgiven, and yet you've forgiven me and kept me close despite it all. There's no way for me to tell you how much you mean to me... how much I love you. I tried my best, and I hope you know.
I have no regrets, except that I won't get to see all of our children grown up. I won't be able to see our grandchildren. I won't be able to grow old with the both of you.
I always thought I'd be left behind.
I'm sorry... that this time, I'm the one going ahead.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The children have been sent home for the night, under the watchful eyes of their Uncles.
There's no reason for them to stay in the hospital all night and Ri is only allowed a certain number of people in his room at one time after normal visiting hours. Sora is certain there will be no way he'll be able to get the Twins to go to school in the morning -- they're masters at skipping classes, just like their Dad -- and he makes a mental note to just call the school so all the children can be absent for awhile.
It's so quiet in the hospital at night. The only sound is the constant beeping of the machines hooked up to Ri, monitoring his vital signs. It's not supposed to happen this way. This isn't fair. He tightens his hand around Ri's chilly, unmoving one, and tries to think that Ri looks like he's sleeping, and not that he's...
"Ri would hate it here," Riku says, his voice cutting through the still room. Sora blinks, turning his head to look at Riku, who has been a constant presence at his side ever since the children went home. It was only after the children left that Sora and Riku collapsed on each other, holding tight and letting out their own pains and fears. Both of them had been vehemenent in their outrage at the doctor, but the realization that it was Ri's heart that had given out on him that fills them both with cold fear.
"Ri would hate it here," Riku repeats himself, his free hand waving at the room, the other one not letting go of Ri's shoulder. "It's... too white here. Too cold. It's like Castle Oblivion."
Sora nods in agreement, because it's true. Ri would be horrified to wake up in such a cold, white place; would probably think he'd woken up to one of the nightmares that he still has from time to time. He clutches Ri's hand tighter.
"We'll be here for him," Sora manages to say, his voice soft. "As long as it takes. We won't let him wake up alone."
Riku makes a soft noise and leans against Sora's side, and Sora is glad for the warmth and comfort they can give and take from each other. He doesn't know how long they sit there, pressed together in the dim room, but when Ri's fingers twitch they both feel it.
"Ri!"
They both crowd close, so that the first thing Ri sees when he opens his green eyes are their happy faces, and not the white walls.
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Date: 2007-09-13 06:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-14 07:26 am (UTC)