I am in awe. AWE.

[windandwater]

There is no longer a God.

Vibrating. Ring. Condoms. From Trojan. Well, actually, their "female" line Elexa. But still. Where is the sanctity of kinky sex toys? First, it was KY coming out with their Warming Lotion/Lube, now Trojan is marketing vibrating ring condoms. Damn you, big business! Why must you constantly destroy those kinks and guilty pleasures we all hold dear, marketing them for public consumption?! DAMN YOU!

Disclaimer: Obviously, this rant does not extend to Japan, because everyone knows Japan is excessively kinky and excessively consumerist and no country can top them. Hello Kitty vibrators for the win.

Comments

[degeneratelyre.livejournal.com]

Just a note to let you know that we're in the handbasket and headed for Hell: Vibrators. At. Target. Yes, the shaped-like-menfolks variety. Sorry to ruin the last bastion of hope you may have been hanging onto there. It'll be okay. Cheer up, sad panda. It can't get much worse than going down to the Target for sex toys.

[stardustmajick.livejournal.com]

...what?

XD Can you imagine getting in line next to one of those mommies with 5 kids all under the age of 8 and buying a vibrator? *amused*

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine getting a price check over the intercom for that?

XD!!

[degeneratelyre.livejournal.com]

"Price check on the seven-inch purple latex dildo!"

[degeneratelyre.livejournal.com]

I'd do it. But then, I have very little personal shame.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

... wtf. At TARGET? Are you sure? I mean, I know you must be sure, but... I mean... *boggles* Are you sure they weren't personal massagers or whatever that are for non-kinky purposes but CAN be used to sex?

T__T At least it wasn't WalMart.

[degeneratelyre.livejournal.com]

Oh, sure. They *market* them as 'personal massagers'. But, come now. You know, and I know, exactly what they're all about. Let's not play coy. They're not for 'relaxing sore muscles'. They are for having yourself a seriously good Jill in private. Call a spade a spade, I say.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Well, a thin veneer of respectability is still enough to keep it out of blatant overstepping of kinkiness boundaries. Afterall, I own two handheld massagers (one was a gift) and I actually DO use them on my shoulders and back because I have terrible posture and such.

... and no, I don't use them for kinky things.

[windsorblue.livejournal.com]

...I am almost scared to ask, but they didn't have those goddamned little red targets all over them, did they? Or? Maybe they were designed by Mossimo or Michael Graves?

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

... it was probably Martha Stewart.

[windsorblue.livejournal.com]

*dies* I thought her line was at K-Mart. Maybe they'll change the blue-light specials to red-light specials?

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think you're right. Who does Target have then? Issac Mizrahi-- wait, no. He's flamingly gay. He doesn't count.

[windsorblue.livejournal.com]

XD!! Maybe the little targets on it are, like, rib-like things or nubbies or something, then!

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

... made for his her pleasure, huh?

[windsorblue.livejournal.com]

omg - - not quite related, but still! Still!

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

=___=;;

I've heard about laws like this before. They're, you know, sort of illegal. Not only does it interfere with the Commerce Clause of the Constitution, there's free speech violations and the all important right of privacy violation.

... And somewhere out there, a law clerk has just referenced Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell in a completely serious manner.

[windsorblue.livejournal.com]

*snickerchoke* "See, dude? I told you we might need these magazines someday!"

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with reading Playboy for the articles. :P

[vortex-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

<3 You make me want to bear your babies... ^^

And I am responding on the computer in my CATHOLIC high school library (which has a filter). How ironic.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

I've dabbled with the thought of having children, but not bearing them myself. ^^

And go you! I went to a Catholic undergraduate college and always felt so naughty.

[missingwatch.livejournal.com]

they don't sell them in my state *pouts*

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Obviously, your state is communist. I bet you could totally start a business smuggling them in and selling them on the black market.

[missingwatch.livejournal.com]

*cackles at the idea of texas being communist*

bet i could make a killing on the black market though. time for some "tupperware parties".

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

... everyone knows that scented candles are all the rage now.

[chibi-faolan.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the Harry Potter battery-powered brooms a few years ago.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Thin-veneer of respectability. Still doesn't count towards rampant and blatant consumerism of pr0n.

[chibi-faolan.livejournal.com]

The brooms were taken off the market because parents started complaining that their children were using them as vibrators. ^^

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Yes, but they were originally intended to be a toy. Thin veener of respectability. Not like... Trojan marketing virbating ring condoms, which are just blatantly porny.

[chibi-faolan.livejournal.com]

LOL Like USC students wearing t-shirts that say, "practice safe sex... make out with a Trojan"?