He started pacing again, keeping his eyes on the floor as the words tumbled out. "I've known for a long time that you're my... friend, but recently I've come to understand that I feel... more towards you than that." He stopped in front of the window, his back to me, shoulders knotted with tension. "I... didn't realize how much you had come to mean to me. Until recently, after the wars were finally over, and I tried to live without you. And I realized that... I missed you."
This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. He turned back, with such pure emotion written on his face that it was almost blinding to look upon. "You've done me more kindnesses than I deserve, Duo -- you're so much a better person than I've ever been. I admire you. I respect you. I feel... better when you're around. And..." He closed his eyes. "I've found that I'm attracted to you."
I forced myself to breathe. If I went too long without oxygen, I might wake up. That would be bad.
He took a slow breath, and opened his eyes as he let it out in a sigh. "I only hope that this won't damage our friendship. I know that even if you're... upset... you won't hold it against me." Was there a hint of uncertainty, in his tone?
At last, my mouth unlocked and I could breathe freely again. My mouth was dry as sand; I had to lick my lips before I could speak. "But... what about Relena?" I croaked.
"What about her?" Heero echoed, looking more confused than I thought he had any right to.
"Aren't you and she an... um... item?" I hedged. I mean, for Christ's sake, Relena had been chasing after Heero for as long as I've known either of them. Heero always fought for her, protected her... the knight in shining armor and his white lady. Pay no attention to the stableboy.
"I... no." He cast his eyes downwards. "You have to understand -- Relena is one of the most important people in the universe to me. I admire her ideals, I care about her welfare. But I don't love her... not the way she imagines she loves me." His shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. "Not the way I've found that I love you."
An ironic smile tugged at his lips briefly. "I think I've been too harsh on Relena, all this time. The way she always threw herself at me... I thought she had no self-control at all. But then, the minute I'm finally honest with myself, I come running to L2 to throw myself at you. It's weak, I know. But after I realized, that what I felt for you was love... I just couldn't go on and pretend like nothing had happened." He slumped, dejected. "I don't have that kind of strength."
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. He turned back, with such pure emotion written on his face that it was almost blinding to look upon. "You've done me more kindnesses than I deserve, Duo -- you're so much a better person than I've ever been. I admire you. I respect you. I feel... better when you're around. And..." He closed his eyes. "I've found that I'm attracted to you."
I forced myself to breathe. If I went too long without oxygen, I might wake up. That would be bad.
He took a slow breath, and opened his eyes as he let it out in a sigh. "I only hope that this won't damage our friendship. I know that even if you're... upset... you won't hold it against me." Was there a hint of uncertainty, in his tone?
At last, my mouth unlocked and I could breathe freely again. My mouth was dry as sand; I had to lick my lips before I could speak. "But... what about Relena?" I croaked.
"What about her?" Heero echoed, looking more confused than I thought he had any right to.
"Aren't you and she an... um... item?" I hedged. I mean, for Christ's sake, Relena had been chasing after Heero for as long as I've known either of them. Heero always fought for her, protected her... the knight in shining armor and his white lady. Pay no attention to the stableboy.
"I... no." He cast his eyes downwards. "You have to understand -- Relena is one of the most important people in the universe to me. I admire her ideals, I care about her welfare. But I don't love her... not the way she imagines she loves me." His shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. "Not the way I've found that I love you."
An ironic smile tugged at his lips briefly. "I think I've been too harsh on Relena, all this time. The way she always threw herself at me... I thought she had no self-control at all. But then, the minute I'm finally honest with myself, I come running to L2 to throw myself at you. It's weak, I know. But after I realized, that what I felt for you was love... I just couldn't go on and pretend like nothing had happened." He slumped, dejected. "I don't have that kind of strength."