He stopped then, watching my face as I took in this fantastic story, and I nodded, slowly, as I digested it. I knew that he was neither lying, nor overreacting; if Wufei believed he saw something, heard something, or even that things had occurred which could be neither heard or seen, then he was correct. I had no doubts. My mind clicked backwards, to the ridiculous New Year's Eve party I had attended, playing ambassador to the colonies for more than two dozen of Earth's most important diplomats. I remembered how, as the evening wore to a close, I had fled to an uninhabited corner of the garden. Tired, slightly drunk , thoroughly sick of playing word-games with bitter old men, and very lonely, I had watched the stars and reached out for my friends with my Spaceheart. It was a long way, but I could still seek and touch the distant luminous soul that hummed in time with my own heart, Trowa. I could still see the flickering bonfire glow of Wufei's fierce pride. And I could feel the bright sparkle of Duo's cheerful, vivacious spirit. I missed them, and for a long time I had remained in the garden, content to be with my friends in spirit, if not in body. That was the reason Trowa's announcement had caught me so off guard; all those times over the past months I had reached for and found my friends' presences had given me no reason to suspect anything was wrong. If anything, I would have been concerned for Heero, not for Duo, because it was his presence I missed. Only now did that absence begin to make sense; how could I have seen the black void that Heero had become against the cold nothingness of space?
"And now?" I said at last. Wufei shrugged slightly, and spread his hands to show his own helplessness.
"Now, I cannot say for certain," he sighed. "Since early January I have spent more time out of the base than in it. It was necessary for me to join with the troops; someone had to maintain loyalty and morale, and the troops continue to be terrified of Heero. I cannot in good conscience blame them; although he is no longer growing worse in his darkness, neither is he healing, and his eyes..."
Wufei broke off, and looked up to meet my gaze. "You, of all people, do not need me to tell you what is in his eyes," he said dryly. "So: You tell me. When you looked into his heart, what did you see?"
"Nothing." I shivered involuntarily, just remembering it. "I could see nothing."
"Empty enough for the wind to howl through..." Wufei murmured, more to himself than to me. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me in puzzled inquiry.
"I didn't say he was empty..." I struggled for words to describe it, the feeling of heart-to-heart transfer that human language never made words for. "Only that whatever is there, I can't see it. It's like you said, Wufei -- the darkness. It's like a living thing."
Re: Torn 2
Date: 2006-02-21 11:08 am (UTC)"And now?" I said at last. Wufei shrugged slightly, and spread his hands to show his own helplessness.
"Now, I cannot say for certain," he sighed. "Since early January I have spent more time out of the base than in it. It was necessary for me to join with the troops; someone had to maintain loyalty and morale, and the troops continue to be terrified of Heero. I cannot in good conscience blame them; although he is no longer growing worse in his darkness, neither is he healing, and his eyes..."
Wufei broke off, and looked up to meet my gaze. "You, of all people, do not need me to tell you what is in his eyes," he said dryly. "So: You tell me. When you looked into his heart, what did you see?"
"Nothing." I shivered involuntarily, just remembering it. "I could see nothing."
"Empty enough for the wind to howl through..." Wufei murmured, more to himself than to me. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me in puzzled inquiry.
"I didn't say he was empty..." I struggled for words to describe it, the feeling of heart-to-heart transfer that human language never made words for. "Only that whatever is there, I can't see it. It's like you said, Wufei -- the darkness. It's like a living thing."