Naughty Fluffy Bunny

yeah! then you can ~~leech~~ internet all night just to make sure nothing happens to you! well, other than the cyber glompings and things... you know, the usual.

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~~I don't leech. I make love to the internet.~~ But anyway, I usually have horrid luck on this day. Like tremendously bad.

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Your tentacle monster story will thank you for the full day you can spend on it now. >:3

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... D:!

;_; You're mean to me.

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No, I'm not! *snugs*

It was a dark and stormy night. The lusty, muscled, green-eyed tentacle monster made its way through the dark and dangerous woods, searching for a busty young virgin to betentacle. Its large, well endowed tentacles slid along the fertile earth, leaving a well-lubricated trail of slime behind...

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did you visit that site sera had posted yesterday and plug 'tentacle monster' with 'sweet virgin'??

besides, i thought sera was writing jerry springer live with "bad rap? tentacle monsters and the victims who love them"

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That romance book generator thing? o.O; I haven't put anything in there - bet it'd be fun, tho. ^^

I'm sorry about the story thing. I totally missed that - that means we have to apologize for trying to market the idea. >.O;

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HA! That's right! Apologize NOW! On your knees! Beg for mercy! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

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>_> But the way I see it, I won't have to apologize until you've actually started writing it - because you always say 'oh, I'm going to porn you up so good you won't remember your name' - and then you leave us high and dry after a little bit of foreplay and we have to finish the job ourselves with two fingers and a bit of spit. =_=

And yes, you deserve the Beruze-face here!

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...

;__; But I thought you liked it that way, baby.

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I do, love, but... can't we try something different some time? I think I'm getting a chronic back ache from this position. *whimpers*

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... did you actually plug that in? Because that would be kinda scary.

And I never agreed to write that! ~~I had a different idea.~~

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In the 1800s, Shy Virgin is the savvy, stunning saloon owner who, on the advice of her best friend Sera, dares to give love one more chance. When Tentacle Monster rides into town on the rails of the new railroad, his smile steals our heroine's heart - but his holster is loaded with a secret that could blast away her livelihood!
Can Shy trust a man who may ultimately destroy her? Will Tentacle choose business or pleasure before his secret is revealed? Saddle up for love, passion and humor!

Shy and Tentacle meet and the tension begins!

Shy had to admit he was a rather attractive man, neatly attired in denim and leather. She scanned his athletic frame and stopped at an arresting pair of black eyes peeking out beneath a rather large cowboy hat, set atop silver hair. The stranger approached the bar, wearing a smoldering smile across a handsomely rugged jaw.
"What can I do for you?" she said coolly.
"What's your specialty," he flirted, leaning against the bar, flashing his big blacks.
"Sarcasm," was the sharp reply. "Care for a double?" Shy had spent the morning cleaning the saloon's eaves troughs and was feeling filthy, embarrassed and annoyed all at the same time. She was in no mood for flirtation.
Put in his place, Tentacle cleared his throat and introduced himself as Tentacle Monster, a foreman with the Grand Humber railroad. "Ma'am, just call me Tentacle," he said, trying to make amends.
"Well the guy you're looking for? The hotel manager? That's me. I'm also the owner, Shy Virgin," she said coolly, giving a little and extending her hand.

Shy and Sera discussing Tentacle the hottie!

So distracted was Shy by her conversation with Tentacle that she had forgotten Sera awaited her return on the other side of the kitchen door. Her friend leaned against the stove, arms folded with an amused grin on her lips. With a concerned look barely masking a huge smirk, Sera asked, "What's that in your eye?"
Shy stopped and blinked her blue eyes - she didn't seem to have anything in her eye, but before she could reply Sera broke in with a smile. "I think it's a twinkle!"
"Did you listen to our entire discussion?" Shy scolded.
"Well, yeah," Sera replied.
After Sera took care of one of the saloon's patrons, the two old friends gossiped in the kitchen about the evening's events.
"He's okay if you like that type," Sera said.
"Oh, you still see Tentacle as that type?"
"No, a different type now," she elaborated. "Y'know, the charming, handsome, gentlemanly type. You're right. I think I've changed my mind. I want him for myself now!" They chuckled youthfully and Shy felt the heat rise in the kitchen or did she just blush?

Shy and Tentacle - a late night surprise

Tentacle was completely distracted by the vision before him. Shy stood against a tree, the breeze blowing her robe open exposing her thin cotton nightdress, making it clear there was little or nothing between her haloed body and the white fabric. Shy suddenly became very conscious of that same fact. The combination of the cool breeze, her moment of fright and the excitement of a man's forbidden gaze made her skin tingle and her breasts strain against her night shirt. In the shadows she could not see his eyes drift over her shapely body, but she could feel them just the same.
"Are you cold?" Tentacle said, breaking the awkward silence. He removed his overcoat and carried it to Shy , the moonlight reflecting majestically off her blonde hair.
"Yes, thank you," she replied. Her hands were cold but there was a warmth building from within. Every other part of her body seemed confused by the circumstances...

don't have a tentacle monster icon!

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You should get one. *firm nod* It's an essential icon for any Tentacle Pervert. (Just look at Sera. She has two. That alone should tell just how strong the love is in her... *cough*)

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HEY!

... I have three actually. And that's only the ones currently loaded.

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Right. I forgot about betentacled!Sean Bean. I beg your forgiveness, your Perviness. <3

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I should totally just load up all my tentacle icons so everyone can marvel.

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ROFLMAO.

And you totally need tentacle icons. ♥

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... I might possibly kill you for the wrongness inherent in that little drabble thingy whatever.

And I just realized that a tentacle monster can't have "well-muscled thighs." That's very important in cheesy romance.

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It's not a drabble thingy. It's an incentive. It wants you to finish it. It begs to be finished... all submissive, subservient and sub-meatball with a bag of chips for 3,95.

It can have well-muscled arms, though.

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limbs? appendages?

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interchangeable... to make it sound a little more purple. You wouldn't want to use one continuous expression if you don't want to bore the reader, right? XP

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ooo, interchangable appendages! like J's claw thing, he can make his tentacles be other things! cool ;)

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Yeah, but what if one of the tentacles got hacked off by a knight who thought his virgin princess was in danger? Would it be a hook? And if yes, would that hook be just another tool of pleasure, or would it be more of the coathanger variety we learned to be disgusted at in American Psycho?
It would be nice to let a tentacle monster have a claw though. "It's not deformed, it's special!"

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I can't believe that we're discussing handicapped tentacle monsters in my LJ.

... wait. Yes, I can.

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♥

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aikonamika.livejournal.com

It isn't just Friday the 13, it's also a full moon! *beam*

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