Well, this always makes the pain stop...

[windandwater]

I've broken askerian.

Go me!



askerian : Dreaming of Sanity by hiei91 reviews
Team 7, along with Tsunade visit a whore house on a mission to gather info. They find that Sakura used to work there, then why is she still a virgin? SasuSaku
windandwater : saw that
askerian : I DONT WANT THAT GIRL TO FAVE MY STUFF WITH THAT STUFF
windandwater : SHE'S A VIRGIN BECAUSE SHE WAS FUCKED UP THE ASS
windandwater : AND SHE GIVES GREAT HEAD
windandwater : >:D
windandwater : some people just have bad taste, asuka
askerian : XDD
askerian : shes not a virgin even if it was in the ass
askerian : it's still sex
askerian : blowjobs don't count, but fucking does, whatever the hole used
windandwater : noooooooo she's a virgin
windandwater : because all other forms of sex are EVIL and PERVERTED
windandwater : and JESUS DOES NOT APPROVE
windandwater : she still has her hymen! she's a VIRGIN
windandwater : because, omg, sasuke needs to love her gently and take her into his strong arms, soothing away her painful memories
askerian : LMAO whaaat?
askerian : *SNOOORT*
askerian : i don't have a hymen no more and i'm a virgin. what does it have to do with it? XD
windandwater : and then, on a moonlit evening, he'll lay her down in a silk-covered bed and gently make love to her
askerian : besides, sasuke would do her more easily if he could do her up the ass
askerian : because pussies = yuck
windandwater : nooooooooooooooo that's not romantic
windandwater : it has to be in the traditional missionary position!
windandwater : and sakura needs to feel comfort and warmth and protection in sasuke's manly yet in tune with his feelings embrace!
windandwater : and then he'll AVENGE her! he'll kill all the men who dared to soil her purity!
askerian : so sasuke needs to be a metrosexual? XD
windandwater : and she will be: No... no, my love, don;'t dirty your hands for me!
windandwater : Stay with me, i'd rather have your love forever and forget my traumatic past!
askerian : god, he's the CONTRARY of a metrosexual
askerian : he's an angry, in denial, hateful, uncaring gay boy
askerian : *ends your pain WITH A BULLET*
windandwater : besides, my traumatic experience has made me STRONGER and i can totally even kick tsunade's ass now, but i'll let you protect me while i weep quietly in this corner!
windandwater : and sasuke will pledge his love to sakura while fireflies dance in the air and he;ll get on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage
askerian : *barfs*
windandwater : and she'll be all: oh noes! we had sex before we were married!
askerian : *I KEEL J00 DHED*
askerian :
ENOUGH
windandwater : and sasuke will say: No, it's alright. because I've secretly loved you since we were kids, and would have asked you to marry me before this. we're married IN OUR HEARTS AND SOULS.
windandwater : and sakura will cry and sasuke will embrace her and she'll say yes
windandwater : then the next spring, they have a wedding under the sakura trees, and sakura will quietly whisper:
windandwater : ... my love... our happiness is doubled, we'll have children!
windandwater : I'm going to have TWINS! one who looks like me and one who looks like you and the Uchiha clan will be strong once more!
askerian : ...
askerian : ohgoditburns
askerian : makeitstop
windandwater : and sasuke will be so happy that manly tears will gather in his eyes and he'll lay his hand gently over sakura's belly and say: Yes, this is why I love you... you make me so happy... my beautiful wife...!
askerian : uwah
askerian : *twitch*
windandwater : and there will be an EPILOGUE
windandwater : five years in the future!
askerian : *sobs wretchedly*
askerian : WAH WHAT NO
windandwater : and the twins have been accepted into the academy already because they're super geniuses!
askerian : ARGH
windandwater : and sasuke will proudly be teaching them how to throw kunai and uphold the dignity of the clan and the village
askerian : x__x *has bad serenity meiran chang maxwell yui flashback*
windandwater : and sakura will come in, her belly round with the fruit on another child, and a toddler at her heels
windandwater : and she'll say: My lovely family! It's time forlunch!
askerian : *whimpers* you win. YOU WIN. STOP TORTURING ME ALREADY.
windandwater : and the twins will run to her for hugs and kisses and sasuke will slide his arm around her waist and kiss her gently
askerian : *eyes bleed*
askerian : *ALL OVER THE SCREEN*
windandwater : and say: Our lives are so perfect.
askerian : HA CANT SEE YOU ANYMORE
windandwater : and sakura will nod and twine her fingers with sasuke's and say: Yes... it is.
windandwater : THE END
windandwater : ... then the SEQUEL
askerian : theirloveissogrammaticallycorrect.
askerian : NOOOOO
askerian : NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
askerian : NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
windandwater : >:D
askerian : ... it's all a ploy to make me write gay sex to cleanse my brain, is that it?
windandwater : yes, it is
askerian : You're twisted.

Comments

[questofdreams.livejournal.com]

OMG! I think I've read a story JUST like that on FF!!!

...I'm kidding. But I wouldn't doubt its existence anyway.

XD!!! Ok, my coworkers are giving me funny looks b/c I'm starting to snort from holding the laughter in. You guys kill my braincells. *dies of lmao*

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

VICTORY! *does the Nice Guy pose*