I ph33r my plotbunnies... truly I do. I keep asking them: "Is he insane enough yet? Is he insane enough yet?" And all they do is smirk and shake their heads and say: "Not yet."
//(>_<)\\
Aoi... I am *so* totally blaming all of this on you!
You never forgot your first.
It was so true, Quatre mused as he held Duo's slumbering form in his arms. His pale fingers played idly with those unkempt chestnut strands that framed that innocent heart-shaped face with violet eyes. Quatre *loved* Duo's eyes. He could even remember perfectly the way those eyes looked in the height of passion. They were so deep... pulsing with life and love and desire and *sex.* And Quatre, whenever he had seen them like that, could not stop himself from reaching his peak with a crashing scream. You never forgot your first, and Quatre knew that there were times in the past (even in the present) when looking into those violet depths would make him come so hard he would pass out from the sheer pleasure of it.
Which was why Quatre was confused.
Why did Heero Yuy reject Duo Maxwell? No, not even "why," but HOW could Heero have escaped Duo's sultry amethyst gaze? How could he ignore the sweetness of Duo's kisses, or the wild strength that ran through his thin frame? For Quatre, to ignore Duo Maxwell was impossible.
Because you never forgot your first.
Said braided boy stirred in his arms, making a soft, strangled sound that meant that he was having a bad dream. Quatre murmured soothingly, patting and smoothing chestnut strands. Duo soon quieted and slept peacefully again.
How could you reject Duo like this? When he was calm and complacent, a warm armful that snuggled up to you as if you were the only thing in the world? How could you ignore Duo when, in his dreams, you were the God that could chase his nightmares away?
Impossible.
Quatre recalled earlier in that evening when Duo had come stumbling into Quatre's room, shattered and ashamed. Under his call coaxing and soothing words of encouragement, Duo had haltingly told his tale. Of running into Heero in the yard. Of how the sunlight had hit Heero's hair *just so* and made it seem like a corona, a halo of light had circled his proud features. Of how, overwhelmed with his emotions, Duo had reached out to that shining, beautiful figure... hoping he would understand and feel the same way. Of how Duo had pressed a chaste kiss against the Japanese boy's lips, hoping for some token of affection or attraction in return. Of Heero, shoving him away and unreadable look on his face. Of Heero stalking angrily away without a word, while Duo collapsed in on himself. All this Duo told Quatre, who— despite the sadness and bitterness of the situation— felt a thrill go through him when he realized that Duo had run to *him* for comfort.
So, how could you reject Duo when he was like this? When he was a shaken, sobbing wreck in your arms? When you knew that one word one way or another would send him into deep depression, unrelenting anger, or the heights of hope? How could you say no to Duo, when he trusted you so completely that he would give over his deepest fears, hopes and desires to you and wait for you to pass judgement?
It was inconceivable.
Quatre closed his eyes and leaned back against the headboard, face tilted up to the heavens as if in prayer. Maybe it was a sort of prayer. With Duo in his arms, running his hands softly across limbs and features he knew so well, Quatre allowed himself to relive old memories. Duo had been his first; to be more accurate, they were each others' firsts. Was it so long ago that they had been naive fifteen-year old boys fighting a war against the world? That one month that they had together... that blissful, glorious, wondrous month that they had spent exclusively in each others' company. Quatre still considered that short month to be the best month of his life *ever.* It was in that one month that Quatre and Duo had met, become friends, and finally progressed to lovers. One month where they had loved each other unabashedly, unashamed, and wholly captured by each other.
They had *belonged* to each other.
Because you never forgot your first.
And it was because you never forgot your first that Duo could never love Quatre the way Quatre loved Duo. Oh, it had come as a bitter shock to the Arabian boy. One month, one whole month of loving and then the name "Heero Yuy" had intruded on their peace and Quatre lost Duo forever. Because Heero was Duo's first love, and you never forgot your first.
The Arabian had always been in awe of the American, always grateful that Duo had chosen him to be his first. What they shared could never be broken, though Duo had moved on in love. Oh, Quatre could never hate Duo... that was almost like sacrilege. How could you hate someone that had showered you with so much love and affection at a time when you felt the most alone in the world? It was certainly not Duo's fault that he could not forget his first love. It was like how Quatre could never completely erase Duo from his thoughts, waking or dreaming. So, Quatre deeply understood the pain and torture Duo was going through, because he himself lived with it everyday.
Quatre would be a liar if he said there weren't times when he wished Duo would open his eyes and realize that Quatre was waiting in the wings for him. It was a guilty thought; one that was totally and wholeheartedly self- centered. Still, that tiny little hope lingered in his heart. Dreams and fantasies that Duo would throw himself into his arms and be there to stay. He would never force himself on Duo, of course. The old adage, "If you love it, let it go and if it comes back it's yours forever," was still in effect. If he clung to Duo, forced him to stay, the braided boy would slow lose all life, pining away for open skies like a bird in a cage. And Quatre would never kill Duo slowly in that way. It was better this way, being Duo's best friend and seeing him happy and carefree. And this way, Quatre could nurse his silent hopes, even if they had little chance to grow to fruition.
Quatre allowed himself the guilty pleasure of pressing a gentle kiss against Duo's brow. "I'll make sure you're happy, Duo," he breathed, lips barely brushing against skin. And like an addict, Quatre could not stop himself from pressing another light kiss against Duo's cheek... and yet another feather-light kiss against those semi-parted lips. "I'll do everything I can to make you happy."
And happiness for Duo meant Heero Yuy.
//(>_<)\\
Aoi... I am *so* totally blaming all of this on you!
You never forgot your first.
It was so true, Quatre mused as he held Duo's slumbering form in his arms. His pale fingers played idly with those unkempt chestnut strands that framed that innocent heart-shaped face with violet eyes. Quatre *loved* Duo's eyes. He could even remember perfectly the way those eyes looked in the height of passion. They were so deep... pulsing with life and love and desire and *sex.* And Quatre, whenever he had seen them like that, could not stop himself from reaching his peak with a crashing scream. You never forgot your first, and Quatre knew that there were times in the past (even in the present) when looking into those violet depths would make him come so hard he would pass out from the sheer pleasure of it.
Which was why Quatre was confused.
Why did Heero Yuy reject Duo Maxwell? No, not even "why," but HOW could Heero have escaped Duo's sultry amethyst gaze? How could he ignore the sweetness of Duo's kisses, or the wild strength that ran through his thin frame? For Quatre, to ignore Duo Maxwell was impossible.
Because you never forgot your first.
Said braided boy stirred in his arms, making a soft, strangled sound that meant that he was having a bad dream. Quatre murmured soothingly, patting and smoothing chestnut strands. Duo soon quieted and slept peacefully again.
How could you reject Duo like this? When he was calm and complacent, a warm armful that snuggled up to you as if you were the only thing in the world? How could you ignore Duo when, in his dreams, you were the God that could chase his nightmares away?
Impossible.
Quatre recalled earlier in that evening when Duo had come stumbling into Quatre's room, shattered and ashamed. Under his call coaxing and soothing words of encouragement, Duo had haltingly told his tale. Of running into Heero in the yard. Of how the sunlight had hit Heero's hair *just so* and made it seem like a corona, a halo of light had circled his proud features. Of how, overwhelmed with his emotions, Duo had reached out to that shining, beautiful figure... hoping he would understand and feel the same way. Of how Duo had pressed a chaste kiss against the Japanese boy's lips, hoping for some token of affection or attraction in return. Of Heero, shoving him away and unreadable look on his face. Of Heero stalking angrily away without a word, while Duo collapsed in on himself. All this Duo told Quatre, who— despite the sadness and bitterness of the situation— felt a thrill go through him when he realized that Duo had run to *him* for comfort.
So, how could you reject Duo when he was like this? When he was a shaken, sobbing wreck in your arms? When you knew that one word one way or another would send him into deep depression, unrelenting anger, or the heights of hope? How could you say no to Duo, when he trusted you so completely that he would give over his deepest fears, hopes and desires to you and wait for you to pass judgement?
It was inconceivable.
Quatre closed his eyes and leaned back against the headboard, face tilted up to the heavens as if in prayer. Maybe it was a sort of prayer. With Duo in his arms, running his hands softly across limbs and features he knew so well, Quatre allowed himself to relive old memories. Duo had been his first; to be more accurate, they were each others' firsts. Was it so long ago that they had been naive fifteen-year old boys fighting a war against the world? That one month that they had together... that blissful, glorious, wondrous month that they had spent exclusively in each others' company. Quatre still considered that short month to be the best month of his life *ever.* It was in that one month that Quatre and Duo had met, become friends, and finally progressed to lovers. One month where they had loved each other unabashedly, unashamed, and wholly captured by each other.
They had *belonged* to each other.
Because you never forgot your first.
And it was because you never forgot your first that Duo could never love Quatre the way Quatre loved Duo. Oh, it had come as a bitter shock to the Arabian boy. One month, one whole month of loving and then the name "Heero Yuy" had intruded on their peace and Quatre lost Duo forever. Because Heero was Duo's first love, and you never forgot your first.
The Arabian had always been in awe of the American, always grateful that Duo had chosen him to be his first. What they shared could never be broken, though Duo had moved on in love. Oh, Quatre could never hate Duo... that was almost like sacrilege. How could you hate someone that had showered you with so much love and affection at a time when you felt the most alone in the world? It was certainly not Duo's fault that he could not forget his first love. It was like how Quatre could never completely erase Duo from his thoughts, waking or dreaming. So, Quatre deeply understood the pain and torture Duo was going through, because he himself lived with it everyday.
Quatre would be a liar if he said there weren't times when he wished Duo would open his eyes and realize that Quatre was waiting in the wings for him. It was a guilty thought; one that was totally and wholeheartedly self- centered. Still, that tiny little hope lingered in his heart. Dreams and fantasies that Duo would throw himself into his arms and be there to stay. He would never force himself on Duo, of course. The old adage, "If you love it, let it go and if it comes back it's yours forever," was still in effect. If he clung to Duo, forced him to stay, the braided boy would slow lose all life, pining away for open skies like a bird in a cage. And Quatre would never kill Duo slowly in that way. It was better this way, being Duo's best friend and seeing him happy and carefree. And this way, Quatre could nurse his silent hopes, even if they had little chance to grow to fruition.
Quatre allowed himself the guilty pleasure of pressing a gentle kiss against Duo's brow. "I'll make sure you're happy, Duo," he breathed, lips barely brushing against skin. And like an addict, Quatre could not stop himself from pressing another light kiss against Duo's cheek... and yet another feather-light kiss against those semi-parted lips. "I'll do everything I can to make you happy."
And happiness for Duo meant Heero Yuy.