Where I am slightly cruel to Relena, but in a fluffy, squishy way

[windandwater]

Heero gave a long sigh and collapsed against Duo, running his hands through those long chestnut strands once again. "How the hell do you do this to me, Duo?" he asked, an exasperated note in his voice.

"It's called ‘love,' Heero. And nobody understands it."

"But what is love?" Heero asked after a minute.

"Getting philosophical in the mornings, huh?"

There was another brief silence as Heero struggled to gather his thoughts and put them in some semblance of order. "Odin..." he began haltingly. "Odin Lowe taught me to follow my emotions. He said it made people human."

"Follow your emotions?" Duo repeated incredulously. "Hell, Heero. You were running in Perfect Soldier mode for so long that I was worried you'd go nuts once the war ended."

"Exactly. Doctor J taught me that emotions didn't matter. Just the mission. How do I know what's right?"

"Heero..."

"Relena..."

At the door, Relena jumped, thinking that she had been found eavesdropping. But, Heero continued and she realized that he was just talking about her.

"When I decided to protect Relena, instead of kill her, it was the first time I acted from emotion. The first time since..." Heero broke off.

"Since the girl and her puppy?"

Surprised cobalt eyes bore down on violet. "You know about...?"

"Yeah. Wu told me."

Heero grunted. "Hn. What I felt for Relena, my emotions, I followed them. Is that love?"

Relena's breath caught in her throat. Was she finally going to hear those words she had only heard in dreams? Duo was frowning, trying to answer Heero's precariously worded question.

"I... I can't tell you if it's love, Heero. Only you can say whether you love someone... or not. All I know is that love is different, and there's different kinds of love. I loved Sister Helen and Father Maxwell and Solo. They were the family I never had. I love Quatre and Trowa and Wufei. They're my best friends." Duo paused, then looked directly into Heero's eyes, one hand moving to run down Heero's cheek. "And you. I love you."

"Love me how?" Heero asked without pause.

Duo pondered for a moment. "I don't love you the way I love Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. I used to love you the way I love Quatre and the guys. But that changed. The way I love you... it goes beyond that. Not necessarily better, but different. I love you, Heero. I don't want you to go away. That's all."

The Japanese boy's brow furrowed in thought, his arms wrapping tighter around Duo's body almost instinctively. "I... guess I love Trowa and Quatre and Wufei. The same way you do. They were our allies during the war. But I don't love you the way I love Relena."

"Love me how?" Duo asked with a grin, turning Heero's question against himself.

"I... want to be with you. Relena, I only wanted to protect. She would bring peace. Maybe that's what my emotions were telling me. That's why I saved her. I had to make sure she stayed alive so that the war would end. Now she's brought the peace. I don't have anything left to do." Here, Heero stopped to raise himself on his arms so he could look down onto Duo's face. He tilted his head to the side, apparently appraising the boy pinned beneath him. "But... I don't need to protect you. I don't want... I don't want you to go away."

"Heero..." Duo murmured. He reached up, pulling Heero closer to him, and burying his face into Heero's unruly dark hair. "Thank you."

Confused, Heero spoke up again. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Baka," Duo laughed.

"But what if my emotions, or yours, are wrong? What if we don't love each other, really?"

"Then, Heero... I hope that if that ever happens, I'll love you enough to let you go. I want you to be happy. But right now... right now is a very, very good place to be."

"Ryoukai."

Duo sighed, tightening his hold on Heero. "Life isn't a fairytale, koi. If it was, the hero —" Duo paused to grin at the Japanese boy, "— the dashing prince would fall in love with the beautiful princess and they would live happily ever after."

"The prince always ends up with the princess?"

"That's what happens in fairytales."

"What if the prince wants to fuck his trusted squire through the floor?"

"Ah . . . now *that* is where the fairytales leave off."

Relena turned from the doorway, moving slowly down the hallway. She didn't need to hear witness anymore, but Duo's voice drifted behind her anyway.

"... I'm just a squire?!"

"I could have made you a jester."

"Oh, I'll show you *jester*!"