*stabs eyes*

[windandwater]

Why why why do I read bad fanfics?

I know I've asked this before, but it's even more relevant now.

*wanders off to look for an adder to stab into her breast*

Comments

[skyblueandblack.livejournal.com]

... An adder? A slithering, hissing, Slytherin-y adder?

*confused*

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

Yes, an adder. A poisonous snake. Obviously, someone wasn't paying attention when they were reading Shakespeare. It's sorta vague, and connects to a conversation I had with Mikke-chan.

It makes sense. Really.

Re:

[skyblueandblack.livejournal.com]

But how do you stab it into your breast?

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

You just grab the adder and shove it into your breast. This pisses off the adder and it bites you. The poison enters your system and you die.

Dude, read Antony and Cleopatra sometime. That's how she commits suicide.

Re:

[skyblueandblack.livejournal.com]

... Well, suicide by snake is one thing, the image of stabbing a snake into your breast was... well, the snake isn't exactly Mr. Pointy!

And maybe the snake would be perverted and would actually like that.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

... perverted snakes. Thank you, you've just put an evil image in my head, especially since I read something awhile back about beastiality (it was connected to a kink thread). Apparently, back in the ancient times, some women did.

You know.

Use snakes.

Like That.

But I don't think they were the biting kind.

Re:

[skyblueandblack.livejournal.com]

:::nods::: Snakes were sacred to certain gods and goddesses and were used for... erm... various things. And since snakes tended to represent sexuality....

[kracken.livejournal.com]

I've struggled through bad ficcage just because I liked the plot, so I know what you mean.

[windandwater.livejournal.com]

*sob* But sometimes, even the presence of intruiging plot and uberslut!bottomboy!Duo cannot save a fic from a flaming fiery death.