This is what happens when the testosterone flies...

[windandwater]

The Main Commons was *the* center of life in Castle Anthrax. While the Muses had their own seperate Wings, and their own Common Rooms for personal use, even the most draconic of Muses ventured out into the hustle and bustle of the Main Commons to catch up on the news (both In Castle and Out), chat it up with friends, engage in participatory activity (the DDR machines were always popular, as was the pool table and the massive entertainment center), or sample whatever goodies the resident cooks (Fujitaka, Sakura, Mako-chan, and Eriol) had a tendency to bake up in the expanded kitchen.

Of course, venturing out into the Main Commons also meant a high chance for fights to break out... which is why a lot of Muses went there.

Duo slipped through the doors of the Main Commons and was immediately assaulted with the sights and sounds of at least a dozen Muses doing various activities. Ron seemed to have another strip Twister game going on, Usagi and Lina were duking it out at DDR, and there was some sort of kung-fu flick on the TV.

"Hey, Duo!"

The braided Muse spun around, raising up one hand in greeting as a brown-haired boy jogged up to him. "Yo, Shinji. What's up?"

The OC Muse smiled easily. "Haven't seen you around for a while, I thought you said we'd play some one-on-one?"

Duo laughed. "Man, Shinji, you couldn't hold a candle to me."

Shinji bristled and punched Duo in the shoulder. "In your dreams, Maxwell. You've been stuck doing bunnywork while I've been practicing my moves. Face it, I'd kick your ass any day."

Pushing up his sleeves, Duo gave a challenging smile. "Wanna make bets on that, Kazeno?"

"Duo? Are those... rope burns?"

Duo spun around, a poleaxed expression on his face. Hastily he pushed his long sleeves back down and gave Harry a sheepish smile. "Eh he... of course not, Harry!"

The Boy Who Lived pushed his glasses up his nose and smirked. "I'm not *that* naive, Duo. I know what rope burns look like."

"Oh?" Duo said lecherously, "Draco acting rough again?"

"Duo!"

Duo tossed a Look at Shinji. "Oh please, Shinji. Don't tell me you haven't gotten rough and tumble with Makoto yet!"

Shiji blushed red and started stammering. "I... I... I keep telling all of you that I'm not gay! I don't like Makoto like that!"

Harry laughed. "The day you're not gay is the day I let Draco turn me over his knee and spank me."

"I'm not!"

"Shinji-kun!"

Shinji "eeped" as a purple-haired boy barreled into him and glomped him. "Shinji-kun, I've been looking all over for you!"

"Ma-makoto!"

Harry and Duo burst out laughing. Shinji scowled, shoving Makoto off of him. "This isn't funny! I don't *want* him hanging all over me!" The Wind Caster stabbed an accusing finger at the terrorist. "And *you* still haven't explained those marks!"

This time, Duo "eeped" and Makoto turned his curious grey eyes on him. "So, Maxwell's been a bad boy, huh? How... interesting."

"You mean someone's put that American wanker in his place?"

All four boy turned to see Draco walking up, an annoying smirk on his pale features.

"Draco..." Harry murmured in warning. Of course, his lover didn't take it.

"It's about time he got leashed. Who did it, Maxwell? It couldn't have been that psychopath Yuy; he's out on assignment. Was it the clown? Or the Oriental git? Don't tell me it was that little poof of yours."

Duo snarled, his hands fisting at his sides. "Say one more word, Malfoy... one more word and I'll make your life a living *hell*..."

"Ooh... like I'm bloody afraid of the nancy bottom boy."

"You should be," a cold voice interjected.

Everyone's eyes widened as Max and Yuy stepped up behind Duo. The American counterpart had his jaw clenched tightly, a nerve almost pulsating in his forehead. Yuy had his best Death Glare on and had it focused on the blonde wizard.

Draco took this all in calmly, then snorted in derision. "Figures you would be into that, Maxwell. And here I thought the Weasleys were one fucked up bunch. At least the Twins are *nominally* different people."

There was a muted roar of rage from behind the group of boys, and suddenly a spell ripped through the room. Draco managed to deflect the spell with his wand, his grey-blue eyes glittering with malice. Unfortunately, the spell ricocheted off the wall and slammed straight into Zelgadiss' unprotected back. The golem went flying and collapsed across the pool table, snapping it and sending balls and cues flying everywhere. The spell did little to harm the Shamanist and his eyes narrowed on Draco, who still had his wand out.

"Shit!" Draco exclaimed, taking cover as an Elemikia Lance flew by. It landed somewhere near the kitchen, sending cookies and pies airborn. Keroberos and Spinel Sun growled in rage, transformed, and attacked. Minako screamed as fire flew past her head, henshined into Sailor Venus, and managed to snag Yue in her Love Me Chain. The Moon Guardian frowned, broke the chain, and pulled out his bow. Diamond shards flew through the air, and there was the distinctive sound of Haruka cursing, henshining, and then the floor burst apart with a well-placed World Shaking. From the bar, Wufei yelled something in Chinese and threw a Molotov Cocktail into the crowd, aiming for Sailor Uranus. The splatter of fire set everyone off.

Chaos descended at this point.

"FUCK!" Duo yelled as he dove behind a couch. With a quick twist, two .44s appeared in his hands. He popped up over the couch, firing off at anything that moved. Max was at his side, weilding his trusty sawed-off shotgun. The two Maxwells grinned and kept firing.

Yuy ended up across the room, but was using his Perfect Solider endurance to great effect, punching Touya in the chest, followed by a roundhouse kick, before bringing his pistol up the bear and snapping off a shot at Ruby Moon who was throwing shards of ruby ice from the ceiling. His Prussian gaze drifted to the couch, where Max was still firing off his shotgun. Duo had somehow made it nearly to the kitchen, and was now scything his way towards Draco.

Then Yuy saw it, Xelloss was aiming his staff at Duo's back. "DUO!" Yuy yelled, fighting off Kunzite, trying to warn the braided boy.

Duo spun around a second too late, but before the spell could leave Xelloss, the Mazoku dropped to the floor in a spray of blood. Both Duo and Yuy's eyes tracked up. Trowa was up on the catwalk, calmly and efficiently sniping off the other Muses. Duo blew him a kiss, and Yuy turned back to beating the shit out of Sailor Mars.

"Someone fucking take out the clown!" Draco yelled, casting off curse after curse and trying to avoid the Shinigami at his heels. He could feel the sting across his cheek from where one of Trowa's shots had come a little *too* close. Harry gave Draco a little push towards the Main Commons doors, before covering his route and firing off a jinx towards the rafters. His spell didn't go wrong; the sniper rifle fell with a clatter and Trowa was saved from a broken neck by his quick reflexes (but he still remained clutching the catwalk with one hand and dangling in mid-air). Quatre screamed in rage, sending out a wide spray from his machine gun, then running up to save the other pilot. Harry would have tried to escape, but soon found his path blocked by an vengeful Chang Wufei with a sword.

Draco fought his way across the room, kicking Eriol in the ribs, ducking a spell from Syaoran, and throwing off a quick curse at Amelia. Still, Duo dogged his steps, the arcing green blade of his thermal scythe cutting through friend and foe alike. A quick freeze spell cleared off enough space and Duo and Draco faced each other down near the middle of the room, the screams and shouts of the Muses around them forgotten.

Draco raised his wand.

Duo hefted the handle of his scythe.

The Main Commons Doors slammed open.

Honouno Mai stood leaning against the doors, gasping for breath. Her upset was visible because of the flames that danced around her as her powers were unfettered. "Run!" she cried out. "RUN!"

"Why?!" someone managed to ask.

"THE BUNNIES!" Mai returned, nearly hysterical. The auburn-haired girl took a quick look behind her shoulder and screamed. Fire poured from her body and filled the hallway. "The bunnies got loose! The crack ones!"

Duo swore.

"EVERYONE EVACUATE!" he shouted. "ALL MUSES BACK TO THEIR WINGS! LOCK IT DOWN AND LOCK IT TIGHT AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL THE ALL CLEAR! CASTLE ANTHRAX: LEVEL RED!"

At the word from the Primary Muse, the flashing emergency lights started to strobe and the warning klaxons went off all around the Castle. All of the previously warring Muses freaked out. It was a mass exodus as every Muse that could still move dragged or carried their member Muses *out* of the Main Commons through any exit available. The Senshi got desperate and Sailor Saturn finally carved a new doorway out of one wall with her Silence Glaive. The HP Wing all apperated back to the safety of their quarters.

Duo gave an incoherent curse and pushed his way through the mass of Muses and towards the main doors, where Mai was still pouring fire down the hallway. "That's enough!" he shook the OC Muse. "Get back to your Wing!"

The girl nodded, speeding through the Common Room for the opposite doors at a flat run. Duo slammed the Main Commons Doors shut, barring them.

"Hopefully that'll buy some time," Duo muttered. Then he turned around, violet eyes widening in shock as he saw Max and Yuy waiting for him.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?!" Duo exclaimed.

"We've never seen the Castle like this," Yuy answered, holstering his pistol in the back of his spandex. "What's going on?"

"This is so *NOT* the time for that! Come on! We gotta get back to our Wing before--"

There was a THUMP across the massive Main Commons Doors.

"Aaah! Fuck!" Duo screamed, grabbing Max and Yuy by the arm and dragging them with him as he ran. "Run! Run, you fools! Before they get through!"

"Is it like this all the time?" Max managed to quip as the trio sped down one of the hallways towards the GW Wing.

"No..." Duo replied. "This is a slow day!"