Attempting to keep myself occupied...

Note to self: Never have sex at the speed of light.

The relativistic flaming semen will pierce a small hole straight through your lower torso, just like a speeding bullet, only incinerating the surrounding tissue as it passes through. Relativistic ejaculation brings true meaning to the question, "Is that your gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Well it's not a gun baby… it's a rocket launcher!

I think all the science-minded folks (and geeks) will find this page endlessly amusing.