Do Not Taunt Your Writer
Sep. 24th, 2001 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwater[Scene: the Writer's Sanctum. Relena is alternating between looking smug and upset. Duo looks like death warmed over (hee!) and the only thing keeping him standing is the fact that he's leaning against the wall. He's hastily dressed in his black cargos and bare feet. Heero is strapped to the opposite wall, a wild look in his eyes.]
Writer: You fucked up big time, Maxwell.
Duo: [groans] I know.. I know... can I blame it on temporary insanity?
Writer: [scathing] You mean temporary insanity caused by a massive rush of TESTOSTERONE to the brain?
Duo: The other guyz agreed!
Writer: I'll deal with them later. You're my primary Muse, Duo! You're supposed STOP shit like this from happening, not compound the situation!
Duo: I was *trying*! Look, Heero was massively depressed over the whole songfic thing and I, personally, didn't want to be cleaning his brains off the bedroom floor! I had to do SOMETHING to snap him out of it!
Writer: So you -- and the others -- decided to shift him into uberslut!mode. Thus, releasing a dangerously possessive, always willing and ready, TERRORIST in the mansion?!
Duo: Would it help if I told you it sounded like a good idea at the time?
Relena: [scoffs] I'm surprised that you could even think, with all that sex on your mind!
Writer: [glaring] Not one word out of you, Relena! I have a bone to pick with you, too! Did you actually think it was a good idea to try to put the moves on Heero?!
Relena: I didn't know he was... unbalanced.
Writer: What tipped you off? The fact that he tried to strangle you for taking away his, and I'm using his words now, FUCKBUDDIES?!
Relena: I thought that he was still in angst!mode from the fic! I swear!
Duo: You better check your nose, ojou-san. It's getting longer.
Relena: You think I'm LYING?!
Duo: I'm not the one who tried to get a psychotic!Heero into my bed!
Relena: No, you did that beforehand!
Writer: [furious] THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!
[there is a flash of light and Relena and Duo suddenly find themselves gagged]
Writer: [winces] Oh... damn. Look. I've gotten so worked up that I've had to pull out my Writer's powers on you. [visibly calming down] Look... just... just try to be CIVIL with each other, okay? I'll take care of Heero and snap him back into some semblance of normal. I don't think I'll be writing much tonight anyway since I'm so behind on my RL stuff. Relena, you... stay in the OC Wing for the rest of your stay here. Hoshino and Mai will love to have visitors. If I catch you anywhere NEAR the GW Wing without my permission, I will SCRAP your fic, even if it's nearly done. Got that?
Relena: [nods]
Writer: [waves her hand] Go to the OC Wing. The gag will be gone by the time you get there.
[Relena bolts like a bat out of hell]
Duo: Mmph?
Writer: I should punish you more, you know.
Duo: ... mmmphh...
Writer: Yeah. I know. I almost feel sorry for you. You're not gonna be able to sit at ALL tomorrow.
Duo: Mmph!
Writer: Oh, jeeze... don't pull that puppy-eye thing on me. It's disturbing. Just... tell the others that Heero will be back in the morning.
Duo: Mmphhh! [points at gag]
Writer: [smirk] It'll dissappear on its own... in a little while. COunt yourself lucky that you need to communicate with the other guyz or I'd leave that thing on you all night. Go back to your wing.
[Duo leaves, but takes a long look at Heero, whose eyes are glazed]
Writer: [sighs and pitches forward onto her desk] What did I do to deserve Muses like this?
Writer: You fucked up big time, Maxwell.
Duo: [groans] I know.. I know... can I blame it on temporary insanity?
Writer: [scathing] You mean temporary insanity caused by a massive rush of TESTOSTERONE to the brain?
Duo: The other guyz agreed!
Writer: I'll deal with them later. You're my primary Muse, Duo! You're supposed STOP shit like this from happening, not compound the situation!
Duo: I was *trying*! Look, Heero was massively depressed over the whole songfic thing and I, personally, didn't want to be cleaning his brains off the bedroom floor! I had to do SOMETHING to snap him out of it!
Writer: So you -- and the others -- decided to shift him into uberslut!mode. Thus, releasing a dangerously possessive, always willing and ready, TERRORIST in the mansion?!
Duo: Would it help if I told you it sounded like a good idea at the time?
Relena: [scoffs] I'm surprised that you could even think, with all that sex on your mind!
Writer: [glaring] Not one word out of you, Relena! I have a bone to pick with you, too! Did you actually think it was a good idea to try to put the moves on Heero?!
Relena: I didn't know he was... unbalanced.
Writer: What tipped you off? The fact that he tried to strangle you for taking away his, and I'm using his words now, FUCKBUDDIES?!
Relena: I thought that he was still in angst!mode from the fic! I swear!
Duo: You better check your nose, ojou-san. It's getting longer.
Relena: You think I'm LYING?!
Duo: I'm not the one who tried to get a psychotic!Heero into my bed!
Relena: No, you did that beforehand!
Writer: [furious] THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!
[there is a flash of light and Relena and Duo suddenly find themselves gagged]
Writer: [winces] Oh... damn. Look. I've gotten so worked up that I've had to pull out my Writer's powers on you. [visibly calming down] Look... just... just try to be CIVIL with each other, okay? I'll take care of Heero and snap him back into some semblance of normal. I don't think I'll be writing much tonight anyway since I'm so behind on my RL stuff. Relena, you... stay in the OC Wing for the rest of your stay here. Hoshino and Mai will love to have visitors. If I catch you anywhere NEAR the GW Wing without my permission, I will SCRAP your fic, even if it's nearly done. Got that?
Relena: [nods]
Writer: [waves her hand] Go to the OC Wing. The gag will be gone by the time you get there.
[Relena bolts like a bat out of hell]
Duo: Mmph?
Writer: I should punish you more, you know.
Duo: ... mmmphh...
Writer: Yeah. I know. I almost feel sorry for you. You're not gonna be able to sit at ALL tomorrow.
Duo: Mmph!
Writer: Oh, jeeze... don't pull that puppy-eye thing on me. It's disturbing. Just... tell the others that Heero will be back in the morning.
Duo: Mmphhh! [points at gag]
Writer: [smirk] It'll dissappear on its own... in a little while. COunt yourself lucky that you need to communicate with the other guyz or I'd leave that thing on you all night. Go back to your wing.
[Duo leaves, but takes a long look at Heero, whose eyes are glazed]
Writer: [sighs and pitches forward onto her desk] What did I do to deserve Muses like this?