Because I can

[windandwater]

Original:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, "It's better than yours"
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

Old English:

Mine milkshake bring all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply, "'Tis better than thine...
"Verily, 'tis better than thine!"
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee.

Literal:

My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attention of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Limerick:

Through stereophonic tubes
Comes a girl rapping mixes and grooves
and though you would think
Her topic was iced drink
It's really all about her boobs.

Haiku:

Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses