Some sorta random drabbles
Sep. 6th, 2007 06:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwaterMostly Ri and Rikka-centric, since both ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
moffit and luscious_sarah managed to bunny me. >_>;;
Ri tended to feel sort of out of place these days. He'd always had that vague feeling that he was unneccessary -- like a third wheel or a potion when there were Megaelixirs and Hi-Potions around -- but he'd managed to get over that stage of his life with frequent reassurances from Sora and Riku, and sometimes well-placed thwaps across the back of his head. But lately that feeling had started to come back, even though he tried to ignore it. That little voice in the back of his head was always snide and cutting, but lately its words tended to circle around the same subject: 'Why would they need you?'
It had happened quickly and somewhat unexpectedly. Riku had gotten Sora pregnant -- wonder of wonders that Riku no longer freaked out at the sight of a naked girl -- even though they both hadn't particularly been trying and were both surprised once Sora started hanging his head over the toilet in the mornings. Sora carried the baby for the nine months, and Ri had watched happily as Riku eyes began to shine with excitement and wonder and Sora's belly had gotten bigger and rounder. He'd helped fix up the spare room as a nursery, and worked longer hours to help pay for the costs a new baby would bring; Sora stayed at home mostly, and Riku was often by his side, so someone had to get the bills paid. And then Rikka had come into the world, red-faced and crying, and Ri could only stare in amazement as Sora cooed to the baby, and even Riku grinned like a fool despite his broken arm.
Sora and Riku were building a life and family together. And Ri felt... like baggage.
He tried to stay in the background as much as he could, not that he ever skipped out on the 3am feedings and diaper changes. He would quietly observe Riku's son when he could, feeling a strange ache in his chest. Ri had long accepted that he would never have children of his own -- not with his beloved Namine and not with anyone else -- but he'd made a vow to protect Riku's children like they were his. They could have been... maybe... he and Riku had the same DNA, so it was practically the same thing, right? He could be the doting and cool uncle. That was okay.
Rikka got older, and even with his blue eyes and Sora's smile, he was like a little Riku with his silver hair. And the hurt in Ri's chest increased. You weren't supposed to hate babies, and he didn't, but he couldn't help but feel sorrow and jealousy; but he made sure those feelings were carefully hidden from Riku and Sora.
But now Sora was having a much-needed nap in the bedroom, and Riku hadn't yet come home from work. That left Ri with Rikka in the kitchen, trying to entice the baby into eating applesauce. He was old enough to start learning to eat solid foods and not just milk, but Rikka tended to be particularly picky and would wail until he got his bottle. Ri scooped a bit of applesauce from Rikka's little dish onto the blue teddy bear spoon, and made a noise like an engine.
"Look, Rikka! Here comes the gummi ship! Open up for the ship!"
Rikka resolutely turned his face away, his little face scrunching up as he tried to avoid the spoon pressed against his lips. Ri tried again, coaxing and using his sweetest voice, offering promises and toys but Rikka refused to open his mouth, and instead smacked his hand against the tray of his highchair, sending the applesauce splattering over the front of Ri's shirt. Feeling desolate and harrassed, Ri set down the still full spoon and stood quietly to wipe up the mess. It did no good to yell at a baby. He'd just have to wake Sora to get Rikka to eat.
"I'm sorry, Rikka," Ri said softly, rubbing a damp towel over Rikka's face in the hopes of stopping any tantrums before they started. "You don't have to eat that if you don't want it. I know I'm not your Papa or your Mama, so you don't have to listen to me at all. I'm just your Uncle Ri."
Rikka fussed and Ri automatically lifted him up, holding the baby in his arms. "That's right. Unlce Ri. You behave for your Mama and Papa, don't you? Don't worry, I'll get one of them to feed you something yummy."
There was a yank on his hair but Ri was used to it, and quickly untangled the strands from Rikka's fist, and offered his finger to play with instead. "Your Uncle Ri is kinda useless, you know. It's a good thing you don't listen to me. Uncle Ri doesn't do anything right. Your Papa and Mama don't even need him around anymore, since they're so happy with you."
Rikka was staring at him now, and Ri smiled for the baby, because babies should only see smiling, happy faces. The baby in his arms made a strange noise, like a cross between a cry and a whine. Ri set Rikka back into his highchair again, afraid that he might have accidentally squeezed too hard and hurt the delicate child. Couldn't he do anything right?
"Maybe you'd behave for me if I was actually your father, huh? There's nothing really connecting us at all, so why would you listen to a stranger? But I wish... I wish I could've been your Daddy."
Rikka stared up at Ri with wide blue eyes. And then he opened his mouth.
Ri could only stare for a few seconds, until Rikka made the whining noise again, his mouth still open. Carefully, Ri picked up the spoon on Rikka's tray -- Rikka's mouth opened wider -- and fed Rikka.
"... are... are you gonna eat for Daddy?"
The baby smacked on the applesauce noisily, then opened his mouth for more.
moffit and luscious_sarah managed to bunny me. >_>;;Ri tended to feel sort of out of place these days. He'd always had that vague feeling that he was unneccessary -- like a third wheel or a potion when there were Megaelixirs and Hi-Potions around -- but he'd managed to get over that stage of his life with frequent reassurances from Sora and Riku, and sometimes well-placed thwaps across the back of his head. But lately that feeling had started to come back, even though he tried to ignore it. That little voice in the back of his head was always snide and cutting, but lately its words tended to circle around the same subject: 'Why would they need you?'
It had happened quickly and somewhat unexpectedly. Riku had gotten Sora pregnant -- wonder of wonders that Riku no longer freaked out at the sight of a naked girl -- even though they both hadn't particularly been trying and were both surprised once Sora started hanging his head over the toilet in the mornings. Sora carried the baby for the nine months, and Ri had watched happily as Riku eyes began to shine with excitement and wonder and Sora's belly had gotten bigger and rounder. He'd helped fix up the spare room as a nursery, and worked longer hours to help pay for the costs a new baby would bring; Sora stayed at home mostly, and Riku was often by his side, so someone had to get the bills paid. And then Rikka had come into the world, red-faced and crying, and Ri could only stare in amazement as Sora cooed to the baby, and even Riku grinned like a fool despite his broken arm.
Sora and Riku were building a life and family together. And Ri felt... like baggage.
He tried to stay in the background as much as he could, not that he ever skipped out on the 3am feedings and diaper changes. He would quietly observe Riku's son when he could, feeling a strange ache in his chest. Ri had long accepted that he would never have children of his own -- not with his beloved Namine and not with anyone else -- but he'd made a vow to protect Riku's children like they were his. They could have been... maybe... he and Riku had the same DNA, so it was practically the same thing, right? He could be the doting and cool uncle. That was okay.
Rikka got older, and even with his blue eyes and Sora's smile, he was like a little Riku with his silver hair. And the hurt in Ri's chest increased. You weren't supposed to hate babies, and he didn't, but he couldn't help but feel sorrow and jealousy; but he made sure those feelings were carefully hidden from Riku and Sora.
But now Sora was having a much-needed nap in the bedroom, and Riku hadn't yet come home from work. That left Ri with Rikka in the kitchen, trying to entice the baby into eating applesauce. He was old enough to start learning to eat solid foods and not just milk, but Rikka tended to be particularly picky and would wail until he got his bottle. Ri scooped a bit of applesauce from Rikka's little dish onto the blue teddy bear spoon, and made a noise like an engine.
"Look, Rikka! Here comes the gummi ship! Open up for the ship!"
Rikka resolutely turned his face away, his little face scrunching up as he tried to avoid the spoon pressed against his lips. Ri tried again, coaxing and using his sweetest voice, offering promises and toys but Rikka refused to open his mouth, and instead smacked his hand against the tray of his highchair, sending the applesauce splattering over the front of Ri's shirt. Feeling desolate and harrassed, Ri set down the still full spoon and stood quietly to wipe up the mess. It did no good to yell at a baby. He'd just have to wake Sora to get Rikka to eat.
"I'm sorry, Rikka," Ri said softly, rubbing a damp towel over Rikka's face in the hopes of stopping any tantrums before they started. "You don't have to eat that if you don't want it. I know I'm not your Papa or your Mama, so you don't have to listen to me at all. I'm just your Uncle Ri."
Rikka fussed and Ri automatically lifted him up, holding the baby in his arms. "That's right. Unlce Ri. You behave for your Mama and Papa, don't you? Don't worry, I'll get one of them to feed you something yummy."
There was a yank on his hair but Ri was used to it, and quickly untangled the strands from Rikka's fist, and offered his finger to play with instead. "Your Uncle Ri is kinda useless, you know. It's a good thing you don't listen to me. Uncle Ri doesn't do anything right. Your Papa and Mama don't even need him around anymore, since they're so happy with you."
Rikka was staring at him now, and Ri smiled for the baby, because babies should only see smiling, happy faces. The baby in his arms made a strange noise, like a cross between a cry and a whine. Ri set Rikka back into his highchair again, afraid that he might have accidentally squeezed too hard and hurt the delicate child. Couldn't he do anything right?
"Maybe you'd behave for me if I was actually your father, huh? There's nothing really connecting us at all, so why would you listen to a stranger? But I wish... I wish I could've been your Daddy."
Rikka stared up at Ri with wide blue eyes. And then he opened his mouth.
Ri could only stare for a few seconds, until Rikka made the whining noise again, his mouth still open. Carefully, Ri picked up the spoon on Rikka's tray -- Rikka's mouth opened wider -- and fed Rikka.
"... are... are you gonna eat for Daddy?"
The baby smacked on the applesauce noisily, then opened his mouth for more.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:21 am (UTC)a kid-centric drabble war would have been awesome during drabble-war time XD(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:22 am (UTC)we could start one right now(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:41 am (UTC)You don't have to if you're not inspired.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:41 am (UTC)Stop me from writing something angsty and emo.(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 02:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 03:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 03:06 am (UTC)Taking the soft little terry towel, he wiped Rikka's nose off, before picking up that spoon again and offering Rikka another full bite, uttering a completely proud yessss! when he ate another bite, even if that meant squishing alot of it out to cling to his chin and lips.
"Mmmm, that looks yummy. Does Daddy's boy like his applesauce?"
Rikka flopped his little pudgy hands on the tray again, his feet kicking against the high chair as he managed more of the applesauce down, his eyes never leaving Ri's. Ri looked surprised when the baby boy's applesauce-covered fingers reached up to him, wanting to touch. Rikka never wanted anything to do with him. Why now?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 03:19 am (UTC)Rikka gave a small burp and then kicked and Ri couldn't help but feel proud. Here he was, taking care of the baby on his own. No tears, no tantrums, no squirming to get away. Rikka even cuddled close against his chest as Ri carried him to his crib for a nap.
"... you're such a good boy. Rikka likes being a good boy for Daddy, right? Rikka looks sleepy~"
The baby blinked up at him from his crib, and latched onto one of Ri's fingers again. Ri felt a different emotion strain his Heart, and smiled back at those pretty blue eyes.
"Don't worry, Rikka. Daddy is here."
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 03:46 am (UTC)"Your Daddy's going to have to teach Mama to pick out boy clothes for you, you know? I mean, blueberries are cute, but not on baby boys," he chuckled, putting his fingers in the tiny pocket on Rikka's onesie. Really, what was the point of baby clothes having pockets in the first place? He found himself unable to look away, for the first time considering everything it meant to have a baby. To be a Daddy. To be solely responsible for a tiny new life's health, happiness and fashion choices. This was something Vexen could never have programmed him to do. Maybe that was why it was so painful, here and now, looking at this child's face and believing, even for a moment, that maybe Rikka could need him.
Maybe Rikka was the push he longed for to make him feel needed.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 04:24 am (UTC)"What is?" he asked, not really concerned. Kira liked to talk alot for no reason at all, so he just turned the next page in his book.
"Daddy and Auntie Namine," Kira replied as she moved on to flip through one of Rikka's open sketchbooks. If she had been one of the Twins, Rikka would have snapped to make them stop, but he and Kira had always been close, so he didn't mind her thumbing through the pencil drawings. Besides, she'd probably do it anyway once his back was turned. She also had the tendency to hide out in his room whenever she felt like it; or more often, to get away from the Twins. Rikka felt no need to answer his sister, though he did wonder what had brought this tangent on.
Kira made a huffy little noise and tossed her head, long silver hair swinging. "You're not listening to me, Rikka! Something is going on with Daddy and Auntie Namine. I know you've noticed. They were acting weird during Daddy's birthday party."
"You're imagining things," Rikka retorted, his blue eyes meeting Kira's green. "Or maybe you're just jealous that Dad was paying more attention to a girl that isn't you."
That made Kira go pink in the face and she stomped her foot on the floor. Tantrums got Kira everything she wanted from Dad -- if she hadn't just sweettalked him -- but it was useless on Rikka.
"Mama and Papa always look a bit weird when she visits though. Mama especially. He always looks like he's gonna blow an artery and always goes into a different room as Auntie Namine when he can."
Rikka shook his head, lifting his book to cover his face again. "You know that Aunt Kairi is like Dad's sister. It's probably the same with Aunt Namine; they live together in Radiant Garden. And Mom always looks like he's gonna blow an artery during parties, since he's always rushing around and cooking and stuff."
Green eyes narrowed at Rikka.
"You know something, don't you? Because you're the oldest."
"Don't read what isn't there, Kira," Rikka warned softly, not lifting his eyes from his page. "Dad loves you and me and the Twins, not to mention Mom and Papa. You're worrying too much over nothing."
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 04:32 am (UTC)And you two are evil with your drabbling. ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 04:36 am (UTC)AND YOU SHOULD DRABBLE WITH US. 8D
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Date: 2007-09-07 04:50 am (UTC)Maybe Kira was too young to remember when Dad had left home. Papa had picked him up, even though he was six years old, and deposited him in his room, asking him very softly, very seriously not to come out without asking. He remembered how torn Papa looked, whether he should stay in his room with him and his baby brothers, or in the bedroom where things were very noisy.
When Papa left, shutting his little blue door, he waited a minute before opening it up quietly, sliding along to wall to sit and listen. He would never forget the shudder that went down his spine when he heard that lamp break.
"I told you that I would be back in a week! That's the end of it." Dad's voice, speaking with authority over Mom's.
"Oh, what? So you can go fuck her for a while? Get a nice vacation from Riku and me? What about your children?" Mom this time. He had never heard Mom sound so angry. He clutched his stuffed cat closer, curling into a ball. The Twins had started crying. Papa was talking, very calm, but no one was listening.
"Fuck, Sora! I'm so tired of this guilt tripping! I used to fuck her all the time, every day! Why do you care now?! You don't own me. I used to think that was okay, but it isn't anymore! I love Namine, and I deserve to be with her, too."
"Because I-we need you! And you need to be here, and not stuck in your past!" Mom had started yelling again, and the sound of glass, and darkness. He could barely pick out Papa following Dad down the dark hallway out the door, and jumped when it slammed so hard that the house shook. He crawled, his little heart pounding, to look in his parents' bedroom, watching Mom as he picked up the shards of glass from the carpet. He looked up at him when she sensed him, warning him not to come in and hurt himself on the glass.
Papa had eventually come back without Daddy, and he and Mom sat up with him until midnight watching TV, but he was pretty sure, even at that age, that no one was paying attention. He wondered if Daddy was coming back, and if he'd missed his chance to give him a kiss.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 04:59 am (UTC)Heart pounding and feeling even smaller than he really was in this state, Riku walked out of the bathroom almost in a daze. The plastic stick was still in his hand as he wandered into the kitchen, where Sora was baking and Ri was eating the ingredients. One of them must have sensed something was up, because Sora set the chocolate chips down to come over, and Ri's eyes never left him, even when one of the twins flung a baby carrot at him.
"A... a plus sign means yes... right?" Riku asked, even though he'd read the instructions on the box ten times. He'd been trying for this for so long, that he'd almost given up hope. Now he almost felt dizzy, even scared.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 05:10 am (UTC)"Yeah, it... it means..." Before he could say the word, he'd wrapped his arms around Riku's tiny waist, looking down into his eyes and covering his mouth with his own.
Riku was pregnant.
It had taken three false positives and a very early miscarriage. Sora never wanted to see Riku go through that kind of pain again. He had spent nearly three weeks convincing Riku there there was nothing wrong with him, only to believe that the problem was with his own body.
There were no words, no sentences that could be formed in any syntax that could express his joy. Only touch, warmth and intimate gazes, brushing the silver hair away with the most tender touch.
"Will you slap me if I say I'm proud of us?" Riku only stood, still shellshocked, before burying his face against Sora's chest.
"No, but you should get used to it anyways."
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 05:25 am (UTC)Only now, he was kicking sand on the beach, and was torn about which 'home' he should run back to. The night was dark and quiet, only the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach filling the air. He could portal from here, he knew. He could just... open a portal and take a step and be in Radiant Garden. But what did that mean?
He was reasonably sure that if he went there, went to Namine, she would be surprised. Would she welcome him back with open arms? Would she let him step back into the life she'd made for herself in Radiant Garden? He tried to imagine what living with Namine would be like. Part of Ri felt fulfilled; he'd always wanted to be at Namine's side, she was his goddess and he'd gladly grovel on his kness for her. Radiant Garden was so big, so busy... he'd always felt somewhat out-of-place, wearing his rumpled work clothes while Namine always looked perfect in her white suits. But if she would take him back, keep him, he could change. He could wear suits and ties for her, doing something... dignified and business-y and not rough up his hands and clothes on hard outdoor work. He was rough now, but he could be refined. They could go out dancing all night at the clubs, go out to dinner at the best restaurants, have drinks together at a bar before tumbling into bed together. Ri's body and Heart ached for Namine, and if he was with her, that pain would fade.
It was the best answer, wasn't it? Afterall, he wasn't needed here, on this Island. He was just an extra. Rikka and Kira were Riku's children, afterall. Children didn't need three parents. But the Twins... if he left, he'd probably not be welcome to see them again. Maybe he'd have to send checks every month -- child support, that's what it was called -- but wouldn't the Twins be happier with him gone? Sora and Riku would love them like the other two, hell, Riku could have been the Twins' father if he'd gotten to Sora first that night.
No more late night feedings. No more tantrums. No crying or whining or sticky messes to clean up after. If he went to Namine, he could live freely. He could travel, explore, do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and would never have to worry about missing a meal or pouty faces. So what if Radiant Garden wasn't Destiny Islands? As long as he was with Namine, everything would be okay.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 05:25 am (UTC)If he turned back... if he went back to the small house he called home, what would he lose? Namine, his mind immediately said. NamineNamineNamine. He'd lose her beautiful lilac eyes gazing at him serenely. He'd lose her blonde hair tangled in his fingers, her soft small body tangled with his. He'd lose that tiny little smile she had when she thought no one was looking. His life had been based around Namine -- pleasing her, following her, protecting her, loving her -- until recently. Until she had gone away with Kairi and left him behind. That had been painful. And Ri remembered that he'd been depressed for a month, had nearly let himself fade back into the Darkness to shield himself from the pain.
But it was Sora and Riku who had pulled him out of that dark, cold place. They'd found him, wrapped him up in love and warmth, and nursed him back to health since he'd nearly wasted away. He'd been so terrible to them back then, screaming that he should be left alone to go back to Kingdom Hearts since he had no purpose in life left. But they'd given him hope and purpose again; had dug in their fingers and dragged him back inch-by-inch. They'd loved him and promised not to leave him in that cold place again.
And then the children had come, and they loved him unconditionally. Sticky kisses and hugs around the knees were a daily occurrance now. He was their protector and hero, protecting them from monsters under the bed and ferrets in the potty. Rikka, who loved to follow at his heels when he was working. Kira, whose green eyes always focused on him first and longest. And the Twins -- oh, the Twins -- his own beautiful sons who were miracles. Ri had never thought that he'd actually have children of his own, of his own body. But there they were, whole and healthy and perfect.
Ri felt sick to his stomach. What could he do? What should he do?
He stayed on the beach for a long time, until the tide came up and cold water lapped his ankles. It wasn't until he saw the bright morning star twinkling in the lightening eastern sky that he made his choice.
Ri turned and walked back home.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 05:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-09-07 05:37 am (UTC)