I laughed. I think that startled him. It sure as hell startled me. I could hardly breathe, and there I was wasting it on breathless laughter. "Heero..." I finally managed to say when my voice came back to me. "If only you could have taught me some of that weakness... God." I set my bottle down on the table, with trembling hands, before I dropped it, and let my hands fall back to my sides. "I would never have had the strength to be as weak as you."
His grey-blue eyes flared to life, suddenly, as though my words had lit a fire behind them. "What are you saying, Duo?" he growled. He sounded a bit breathless, himself.
A crooked grin stole across my face, like creeping water. "Heero Yuy, you dumbass, I love you too. Christ! I've been in love with you for two years!"
I actually saw him tremble, I swear. "Honto?" he breathed. "But... I never realized..."
"Honto ni," I said softly. The old aching welled up in my throat, behind my voice. "I never told you because... because I thought you'd be disgusted." I let my eyes slip closed. "It was okay if you didn't care, but I couldn't have made it if you hated me. I dunno, maybe I thought you'd finally get around to killing me."
There was a rush of air, and suddenly a firm warm weight settled over me on the couch. My arms automatically went up around Heero, and I settled into him as though two pieces of a puzzle had finally come together, click. Like a key into its lock, or a magnet finding its mate, or anything that was so right. He moved against me, and I felt something soft touch my cheek. "You could never --" he murmured, and his lips moved down to my jawbone -- "disgust me --" to my neck -- "never." I'd never been kissed like that before, not that gently. "I could never hurt you." Never. "I love you too much to hate you."
Two years of loneliness, of wishing and wanting and never daring to touch, seemed to rise up in me and wash away under Heero's touch. He loved me. He loved me? The perfect soldier, the beautiful Heero Yuy, loved me? It was too much to be believed...
"Oh, God," I moaned, opening my eyes to the ceiling above but not seeing it. "This can't be real. This has gotta be a dream. Gotta be." That must be it, I was dreaming. I was suffocating under my covers with a pillow over my face and any minute now the alarm clock would go off.
Re: Confluence
Date: 2006-02-22 07:58 am (UTC)I laughed. I think that startled him. It sure as hell startled me. I could hardly breathe, and there I was wasting it on breathless laughter. "Heero..." I finally managed to say when my voice came back to me. "If only you could have taught me some of that weakness... God." I set my bottle down on the table, with trembling hands, before I dropped it, and let my hands fall back to my sides. "I would never have had the strength to be as weak as you."
His grey-blue eyes flared to life, suddenly, as though my words had lit a fire behind them. "What are you saying, Duo?" he growled. He sounded a bit breathless, himself.
A crooked grin stole across my face, like creeping water. "Heero Yuy, you dumbass, I love you too. Christ! I've been in love with you for two years!"
I actually saw him tremble, I swear. "Honto?" he breathed. "But... I never realized..."
"Honto ni," I said softly. The old aching welled up in my throat, behind my voice. "I never told you because... because I thought you'd be disgusted." I let my eyes slip closed. "It was okay if you didn't care, but I couldn't have made it if you hated me. I dunno, maybe I thought you'd finally get around to killing me."
There was a rush of air, and suddenly a firm warm weight settled over me on the couch. My arms automatically went up around Heero, and I settled into him as though two pieces of a puzzle had finally come together, click. Like a key into its lock, or a magnet finding its mate, or anything that was so right. He moved against me, and I felt something soft touch my cheek. "You could never --" he murmured, and his lips moved down to my jawbone -- "disgust me --" to my neck -- "never." I'd never been kissed like that before, not that gently. "I could never hurt you." Never. "I love you too much to hate you."
Two years of loneliness, of wishing and wanting and never daring to touch, seemed to rise up in me and wash away under Heero's touch. He loved me. He loved me? The perfect soldier, the beautiful Heero Yuy, loved me? It was too much to be believed...
"Oh, God," I moaned, opening my eyes to the ceiling above but not seeing it. "This can't be real. This has gotta be a dream. Gotta be." That must be it, I was dreaming. I was suffocating under my covers with a pillow over my face and any minute now the alarm clock would go off.