Running from Muses...
Sep. 3rd, 2001 03:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windandwater[Scene: The Sanctum, where the Writer's essence is distilled for fanfic-writing purposes. She is cowering behind her desk, trying to keep it between her and a particularly intense Trowa]
Writer: No, Trowa! No!
Trowa: [wearing obscenely tight leather pants and a tight metallic green shirt that flashes his stomach whenever he moves] Yes.
Writer: No, goddammit! [picks up a file after file of papers and throws them at him, he dodges] Do you see this? And this? And oh-my-god! THIS?!?
Trowa: Doesn't matter.
Writer: No! Absolutely not! I am NOT writing another fic! Not right now!
Trowa: You finished WuFei's.
Writer: THAT was a fluke. And it was only a short-fic. *YOU* want me to write something that's angsty and squishy from *YOUR* POV. And I know DAMN well that this fic is gonna get blown all out of proportion and turn out longer than I expected!
Trowa: You finished the RFO.
Writer: Argh! I was working on that damn fic ALL FREAKING SUMMER! Two finished fic do not an epic make.
Trowa: It's not an epic.
Writer: [starts hurling bunnies around the room] It might as well be! See this? *THIS* is that damn angst!Wu fic that I promised to Aoi-chan. And *THESE*? THESE are Duo's songfics that I have to tweak. And... [breaks down sobbing] Look at my damn non-PWP! It's 20 pages in 10 point font! I had to break it up into CHAPTERS!
Trowa: You like that chapter thing, though. Besides, you've already got the beginning of my fic written. I'm just asking you to finish it.
Writer: NO! YOU'RE THREATING MY SANITY! I can't even turn the fucking *radio* on because I keep hearing *YOUR* damn song!
Trowa: And you haven't finished my songfic either. That only needs a little work.
Writer: [pounds head into desk, bunnies immediately swarm and surround her]
Trowa: I know you're on this weird Quatre kick. You like him. You like me. You like me and him TOGETHER. I haven't said anything about all those 4x2 doujinshi you have... even though I've noticed that you don't have *one* 4x3.
Writer: [whimpers]
Trowa: I just want you to finish my fics. Is it so much to ask that I get a little action? You've been so obsessed about the non-PWP that Heero, Duo and Quatre don't get a break. Even WuFei got a little bit of time. Why can't I ask the same?
Writer: I hate you sometimes, Trowa.
Trowa: No, you don't. You think I look damn hot shirtless.
Writer: .....
Trowa: I can keep that song on repeat.
Writer: You're talking too damn much, Barton.
Trowa: You wrote me this way.
Writer: [throws hands up in the air] Fine! Fine! I give! I'll finish your damn songfic. I'm getting scared by the non-PWP anyway and I need to let it sit for a bit. The other fic, I give no promises on. I want my non-PWP DONE before I even tackle that one.
Trowa: That's all I ask.
Writer: ... Argh! I'll see if I can squeeze a short-fic out, too... but you're gonna have to breed the bunny for that one. Or ask Quatre to help you.
Trowa: [blinks] Quatre's out of the psych ward?
Writer: Yeah. If I kept him in nonPWP!mode, that would become his default. He's slut!Quatre.
Trowa: [bunny pops up at his feet] ...
Writer: [blinks at the new bunny] I didn't mean for you to start breeding the bunnies *now*... Oh, dammit! Don't you guys ever breed anything without sex in it?!
Trowa: You don't have to write it.
Writer: Gods save me... that means I'm *going* to write it. Damn stupid threesomes... damn Endless Waltz... damn damn damn.
Trowa: Well, you've got that short-fic you promised me now.
Writer: ARGH! Get your leather-clad ass out of here, Barton! Go find Quatre and Duo and work this out between the three of you! And don't bother me 'till tonight because I have RL stuff to do!
Trowa: [picks up the bunny and leaves] See you tonight.
Writer: No, Trowa! No!
Trowa: [wearing obscenely tight leather pants and a tight metallic green shirt that flashes his stomach whenever he moves] Yes.
Writer: No, goddammit! [picks up a file after file of papers and throws them at him, he dodges] Do you see this? And this? And oh-my-god! THIS?!?
Trowa: Doesn't matter.
Writer: No! Absolutely not! I am NOT writing another fic! Not right now!
Trowa: You finished WuFei's.
Writer: THAT was a fluke. And it was only a short-fic. *YOU* want me to write something that's angsty and squishy from *YOUR* POV. And I know DAMN well that this fic is gonna get blown all out of proportion and turn out longer than I expected!
Trowa: You finished the RFO.
Writer: Argh! I was working on that damn fic ALL FREAKING SUMMER! Two finished fic do not an epic make.
Trowa: It's not an epic.
Writer: [starts hurling bunnies around the room] It might as well be! See this? *THIS* is that damn angst!Wu fic that I promised to Aoi-chan. And *THESE*? THESE are Duo's songfics that I have to tweak. And... [breaks down sobbing] Look at my damn non-PWP! It's 20 pages in 10 point font! I had to break it up into CHAPTERS!
Trowa: You like that chapter thing, though. Besides, you've already got the beginning of my fic written. I'm just asking you to finish it.
Writer: NO! YOU'RE THREATING MY SANITY! I can't even turn the fucking *radio* on because I keep hearing *YOUR* damn song!
Trowa: And you haven't finished my songfic either. That only needs a little work.
Writer: [pounds head into desk, bunnies immediately swarm and surround her]
Trowa: I know you're on this weird Quatre kick. You like him. You like me. You like me and him TOGETHER. I haven't said anything about all those 4x2 doujinshi you have... even though I've noticed that you don't have *one* 4x3.
Writer: [whimpers]
Trowa: I just want you to finish my fics. Is it so much to ask that I get a little action? You've been so obsessed about the non-PWP that Heero, Duo and Quatre don't get a break. Even WuFei got a little bit of time. Why can't I ask the same?
Writer: I hate you sometimes, Trowa.
Trowa: No, you don't. You think I look damn hot shirtless.
Writer: .....
Trowa: I can keep that song on repeat.
Writer: You're talking too damn much, Barton.
Trowa: You wrote me this way.
Writer: [throws hands up in the air] Fine! Fine! I give! I'll finish your damn songfic. I'm getting scared by the non-PWP anyway and I need to let it sit for a bit. The other fic, I give no promises on. I want my non-PWP DONE before I even tackle that one.
Trowa: That's all I ask.
Writer: ... Argh! I'll see if I can squeeze a short-fic out, too... but you're gonna have to breed the bunny for that one. Or ask Quatre to help you.
Trowa: [blinks] Quatre's out of the psych ward?
Writer: Yeah. If I kept him in nonPWP!mode, that would become his default. He's slut!Quatre.
Trowa: [bunny pops up at his feet] ...
Writer: [blinks at the new bunny] I didn't mean for you to start breeding the bunnies *now*... Oh, dammit! Don't you guys ever breed anything without sex in it?!
Trowa: You don't have to write it.
Writer: Gods save me... that means I'm *going* to write it. Damn stupid threesomes... damn Endless Waltz... damn damn damn.
Trowa: Well, you've got that short-fic you promised me now.
Writer: ARGH! Get your leather-clad ass out of here, Barton! Go find Quatre and Duo and work this out between the three of you! And don't bother me 'till tonight because I have RL stuff to do!
Trowa: [picks up the bunny and leaves] See you tonight.