If being awoke from a drunken stupor by a scream loud enough to wake the dead wasn't bad enough, it was made even worse if you were woken up from a drunken stupor by a scream loud enough to wake the dead and realizing that you were naked, under a table, with two *women*.
Well... one woman and one transexual, anyway. Sort of. In a sense. One woman and one being of no particular gender? Genderless? Gender-free? Would it be considered bisexuality if Nakuru slept with a man AND a woman?
Wufei confused himself and tried to focus his mind on keeping the table between him and the two outraged... persons... he had ended up sleeping with. Of course, it would have been much easier to protect himself if he wasn't so preoccupied with making sure that his... important bits... weren't in danger of being harmed. Unfortunately, he could find no scrap of clothing anywhere at hand. He was only thankful that everyone else was in the same straights as he was.
But that meant that a VERY naked and VERY angry Ten'ou Haruka was trying to throttle him with her bare hands. And the sparks and ruby light coming from Nakuru were enough to take your eyes away from her/his gender.
"YOU MOTHERLESS BASTARD!!!" Haruka roared, trying to catch hold of Wufei. The Chinese boy ducked out of the way, dodging the flare of ruby light that spilled out of Nakuru's outstretched hands.
"Don't blame ME, onna!" Wufei exclaimed, twisting out of reach yet again. "You took advantage of ME as well! Like I would ever want to have sex with anyone like YOU!"
"WHAT?!" Haruka and Nakuru screeched in unison.
"Are you saying that I was *bad*?!" Haruka bit out.
"I'm gay!" Wufei retorted, scathingly. "Why the hell would I want to sleep with an onna?!"
"You weren't arguing so much when we had you pinned against the wall..." Nakuru purred, then released a volley of ruby shards that Wufei avoided.
There were shouts of outrage and the sounds of things exploding behind him, but the Chinese boy didn't pay much attention. His face flushed an angry red, Wufei advanced and tried to attack the smirking Moon Guardian. "I WAS NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND AT THE TIME!" he bellowed.
"Huh... but it must have been something you liked if you still remember it," Haruka smirked. "I'm sure Michiru will forgive me if I could manage to knock some sense into a thick-headed idiot like you."
"Watch what you're saying, woman! Unlike you, I prefer to stay in a stable relationship."
"Is that why you have four boyfriends?" Nakuru asked snidely.
Wufei bit his tongue in his outrage but before he could start screaming curses and detailing the sexual parentage of the two... onnas... before him, something hit him with the speed of a Mack truck and tried to practically climb up his chest. Then something grabbed onto his leg and hung on like a limpet.
"HELP ME, WU!!!" Duo screamed, clutching onto Wufei like a lifeline. "Relena... Relena... she's... she's... a bitch from HELL!"
"She's trying to kill us!" Shinji gibbered, from where he was clutching Wufei's leg.
Indeed, Relena was stalking towards Duo with obvious malicious intent.
But Wufei had a naked Duo strapped to his chest with his legs curled around his waist, and an equally naked Shinji hanging onto his leg. And perhaps it was because everything had been so surreal since he had been rudely awoken. Perhaps it was the lingering traces of alcohol and god-knows-what-else still flowing in his veins. Perhaps it was because Wufei was a homosexual male with one of his boyfriends attached to him, as well as an attractive friend.
Chang Wufei... reacted appropriately.
"Whoa! Point that thing somewhere else, buddy!" Haruka exclaimed.
Well... one woman and one transexual, anyway. Sort of. In a sense. One woman and one being of no particular gender? Genderless? Gender-free? Would it be considered bisexuality if Nakuru slept with a man AND a woman?
Wufei confused himself and tried to focus his mind on keeping the table between him and the two outraged... persons... he had ended up sleeping with. Of course, it would have been much easier to protect himself if he wasn't so preoccupied with making sure that his... important bits... weren't in danger of being harmed. Unfortunately, he could find no scrap of clothing anywhere at hand. He was only thankful that everyone else was in the same straights as he was.
But that meant that a VERY naked and VERY angry Ten'ou Haruka was trying to throttle him with her bare hands. And the sparks and ruby light coming from Nakuru were enough to take your eyes away from her/his gender.
"YOU MOTHERLESS BASTARD!!!" Haruka roared, trying to catch hold of Wufei. The Chinese boy ducked out of the way, dodging the flare of ruby light that spilled out of Nakuru's outstretched hands.
"Don't blame ME, onna!" Wufei exclaimed, twisting out of reach yet again. "You took advantage of ME as well! Like I would ever want to have sex with anyone like YOU!"
"WHAT?!" Haruka and Nakuru screeched in unison.
"Are you saying that I was *bad*?!" Haruka bit out.
"I'm gay!" Wufei retorted, scathingly. "Why the hell would I want to sleep with an onna?!"
"You weren't arguing so much when we had you pinned against the wall..." Nakuru purred, then released a volley of ruby shards that Wufei avoided.
There were shouts of outrage and the sounds of things exploding behind him, but the Chinese boy didn't pay much attention. His face flushed an angry red, Wufei advanced and tried to attack the smirking Moon Guardian. "I WAS NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND AT THE TIME!" he bellowed.
"Huh... but it must have been something you liked if you still remember it," Haruka smirked. "I'm sure Michiru will forgive me if I could manage to knock some sense into a thick-headed idiot like you."
"Watch what you're saying, woman! Unlike you, I prefer to stay in a stable relationship."
"Is that why you have four boyfriends?" Nakuru asked snidely.
Wufei bit his tongue in his outrage but before he could start screaming curses and detailing the sexual parentage of the two... onnas... before him, something hit him with the speed of a Mack truck and tried to practically climb up his chest. Then something grabbed onto his leg and hung on like a limpet.
"HELP ME, WU!!!" Duo screamed, clutching onto Wufei like a lifeline. "Relena... Relena... she's... she's... a bitch from HELL!"
"She's trying to kill us!" Shinji gibbered, from where he was clutching Wufei's leg.
Indeed, Relena was stalking towards Duo with obvious malicious intent.
But Wufei had a naked Duo strapped to his chest with his legs curled around his waist, and an equally naked Shinji hanging onto his leg. And perhaps it was because everything had been so surreal since he had been rudely awoken. Perhaps it was the lingering traces of alcohol and god-knows-what-else still flowing in his veins. Perhaps it was because Wufei was a homosexual male with one of his boyfriends attached to him, as well as an attractive friend.
Chang Wufei... reacted appropriately.
"Whoa! Point that thing somewhere else, buddy!" Haruka exclaimed.